Thursday, March 23, 2017

Eleventh New Testament Greek Class - John 3.
Nick at Night. Born from Above. Little Gospel.

 Jesus and Nicodemus by Crijn Hendricksz, 1616–1645.

John 3
ην δε ανθρωπος εκ των φαρισαιων νικοδημος ονομα αυτω αρχων των ιουδαιων

2 ουτος ηλθεν προς τον ιησουν νυκτος και ειπεν αυτω,  "ραββι οιδαμεν οτι απο θεου εληλυθας διδασκαλος - ουδεις γαρ ταυτα τα σημεια δυναται ποιειν, α συ ποιεις, εαν μη η ο θεος μετ αυτου"

3 απεκριθη ο ιησους και ειπεν αυτω, "αμην αμην λεγω σοι - εαν μη τις γεννηθη ανωθεν ου δυναται ιδειν την βασιλειαν του θεου." [ανωθεν - suffix means from]

4 λεγει προς αυτον ο νικοδημος,  "πως δυναται ανθρωπος γεννηθηναι γερων ων μη δυναται εις την κοιλιαν της μητρος αυτου δευτερον εισελθειν και γεννηθηναι."

5 απεκριθη ο ιησους "αμην αμην λεγω σοι εαν μη τις γεννηθη εξ υδατος και πνευματος ου δυναται εισελθειν εις την βασιλειαν του θεου [water/Spirit born - anarthrous, no article - binds word together]

6 το γεγεννημενον εκ της σαρκος σαρξ εστιν και το γεγεννημενον εκ του πνευματος πνευμα εστιν

7 μη θαυμασης οτι ειπον σοι, "δει υμας γεννηθηναι ανωθεν?

8 το πνευμα [οπου θελει] πνει, και την φωνην αυτου ακουεις - αλλ ουκ οιδας [ποθεν ερχεται] και [που υπαγει] ουτως εστιν πας ο γεγεννημενος εκ του πνευματος."

9 απεκριθη νικοδημος και ειπεν αυτω, "πως δυναται ταυτα γενεσθαι?"

10 απεκριθη ο ιησους και ειπεν αυτω, "συ ει ο διδασκαλος του ισραηλ και ταυτα ου γινωσκεις?

11 αμην αμην λεγω σοι οτι "ο οιδαμεν λαλουμεν και ο εωρακαμεν μαρτυρουμεν και την μαρτυριαν ημων ου λαμβανετε.

12 ει τα επιγεια ειπον υμιν και ου πιστευετε - πως εαν ειπω υμιν τα επουρανια πιστευσετε? [sigma sign of future tense]

13 και ουδεις αναβεβηκεν εις τον ουρανον ει μη ο εκ του ουρανου καταβας - ο υιος του ανθρωπου ο ων εν τω ουρανω

14 και καθως μωσης υψωσεν τον οφιν εν τη ερημω ουτως,  υψωθηναι δει τον υιον του ανθρωπου

15 ινα πας ο πιστευων εις αυτον μη αποληται αλλ εχη ζωην αιωνιον.

16 ουτως γαρ ηγαπησεν ο θεος τον κοσμον ωστε τον υιον αυτου τον μονογενη εδωκεν - ινα πας ο πιστευων εις αυτον μη αποληται αλλ εχη ζωην αιωνιον.

17 ου γαρ απεστειλεν ο θεος τον υιον αυτου εις τον κοσμον ινα κρινη τον κοσμον, αλλ ινα σωθη ο κοσμος δι αυτου. [The "not" is first for emphasis.]

18 ο πιστευων εις αυτον ου κρινεται, ο δε μη πιστευων ηδη κεκριται - οτι μη πεπιστευκεν εις το ονομα του μονογενους υιου του θεου

19 αυτη δε εστιν η κρισις οτι το φως εληλυθεν εις τον κοσμον - και ηγαπησαν οι ανθρωποι μαλλον το σκοτος η το φως - ην γαρ πονηρα αυτων τα εργα

20 πας γαρ ο φαυλα πρασσων μισει το φως και ουκ ερχεται προς το φως ινα μη ελεγχθη* τα εργα αυτου.

 * - Strong's  #1651 - copy and paste Greek word into Google, get the Strong's reference - very handy.


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Do You Have Plans for Your Front Yard? - Neighbor Asks


My wife was visiting our next-door neighbor Mrs. Gardener when she was asked, "Do you have plans for your front yard?"

Everyone else has a solid mass of bright green grass in their front yards, thanks to warmer weather and some substantial rains. We have nothing but brown mulch. plenty of brown tree stumps, and slightly growing rose plants - but no grass. The English ivy provides green on the house and a bird's nest. The future butterfly garden has a layer of...mulch.

 Crepe myrtles are more colorful later.


The new row of crepe myrtle is not yet sprouting leaves, nor is the grandfather crepe myrtle plant. Like many plants and people, they wake up late. No one will ask about front yard plans when all the roses and crepe myrtles are in full bloom. Their eyes will be fixed on the flowers rather than the mulch, but the mulch makes the flowers by feeding the roots and holding in the moisture and nutrition of the rain.

 Slugs feed the toads that eat so many other pests.


The plentiful stumps look like solemn sentinels - "like a graveyard," our granddaughter said. They are perches for birds, who like to stand above the soil and look for movement. The stumps will be re-arranged in the near future. I consider them a ton of slowly decaying fertilizer for the soil, feeding fungi that feed the flowers.

The prized stump is hollowed out by storms, age, and decay. I will place that one near the faucet, so water can hasten the decay and invite a heavy-lidded toad family to pursue slugs, bugs, and worms. Clay dishes under the soaker hoses are intended to hydrate the creatures that need something smaller than an olympic-sized pool.

The neighbor's chihuahua - we called Little White Mouse - used to race around the yard, stop at a water dish for a drink, and reach full speed again. His constant need for speed and more water was always comical.
Falling in Love is stunning from every angle
and is fragrant, but it is the thorniest rose of all.

I wish I could recycle rose cuttings. I have a tangle of thorny canes cut from the largest shrubs - the KnockOuts. They will be followed by trimmings from the smaller roses.

My wife and I never grow tired of the rose blooms. When I look back at last years blooms, featured in Creation Gardening, I get that same gasp of amazement that others have when seeing their size and perfection. I simply turned over the labor to God's creatures. They turned the soil (earthworms), fed nutrition to the roots (fungi), digested the organic matter (bacteria), and kept the pests under control (spiders, beneficial insects, birds).

 Creation roses are easy enough to grow.
They are like getting an A for attitude in a difficult class,
without doing much work.
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Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Paul Gerhardt Hymn Service, Tonight, 7 PM Central Daylight Savings Time


The material on this post can be shared freely, without asking permission. I have put this together to promote the great doctrine, praise, and comfort hymns of Paul Gerhardt.

Midweek Lenten Service

7 PM Central Daylight Savings Time
Pastor Gregory L. Jackson

http://www.ustream.tv/channel/bethany-lutheran-worship

  • Words are linked on the hymn number.
  • The melody is linked on the hymn name.
 My Lutheran Hymnal contains lyrics only
in historical order, arranged by author.

Worship and Praise
Advent

Christmas


New Year

Lent

Good Friday


Easter

Pentecost

The Redeemer

Cross and Comfort



Evening

Harvest and Thanksgiving

The Nation

Death and Burial
TLH#586 - A Pilgrim and a Stranger

Evening and Morning, Sunset and Dawning - Not in TLH, but the hymn is in other Lutheran hymnals and very popular.

Below is a great Gerhardt hymn in German. I have not found it in English.


Paul Gerhardt was born in 1607, and grew up in the era after the Book of Concord (1580). The Calvinists worked hard to suppress Lutheran doctrine. He studied to be a pastor at Wittenberg, with good orthodox professors. One of them had a habit of combining sermons with hymn texts.

Gerhardt graduated in 1642 but did not receive a pastoral call until 9 years later. During that time his poetic talents were discovered and he began working with another person on hymns. He was a tutor for the children in one family, which explains his choice of child-like terms and vivid picture language. That is somewhat obscured by the stuffy translations of his hymns into English. See A Lamb Goes Uncomplaining Forth - the "bark" was a "little ship" in German. "To and fro" in German was "zum und zum."

Gerhardt was known for being an orthodox, Book of Concord pastor, but the Calvinist elector wanted peace between the Calvinists and Lutherans. As a result, Gerhardt was forced out of his Berlin call, where he was loved and respected by both sides. He had to get by for a year in Berlin without a call, then was in limbo entirely. Finally he had a call to a difficult parish where he lived and worked until he died.


Three of his five children had already died in infancy, and now he lost one of his two remaining sons, the child on whose death he wrote his touching hymn,
"Thou'rt mine, yes, still Thou art mine own,"
while his wife, worn out by sorrow and anxiety, fell into a long and slow decline. When she died, Gerhardt was left with only one child, a boy of 6 years. Many of his most beautiful hymns were written at this time, and among others, "If God be on my side."

The Lübben congregation commissioned a life sized painting of him for the church where it still hangs. Beneath it one can read the inscription, "Theologus in cribro Satanae versatus" ("A theologian sifted in Satan's sieve").
As a poet he undoubtedly holds the highest place among the hymn-writers of Germany. His hymns seem to be the spontaneous outpouring of a heart that overflows with love, trust, and praise; his language is simple and pure; if it has sometimes a touch of homeliness, it has no vulgarism,1 and at times it rises to a beauty and grace, which always give the impression of being unstudied, yet could hardly have been improved by art. His tenderness and fervor never degenerate into the sentimentality and petty conceits which were already becoming fashionable in his days; nor his penitence and sorrow into that morbid despondency which we find in Gryphius, and for which the disappointments of his own life might have furnished some excuse.
If he is not altogether free from the long-windedness and repetition which are the besetting sins of so many German writers, and especially hymn-writers, he at least more rarely succumbs to them: and in his days they were not considered a blemish. One of his contemporaries, a certain Andreas Bucholz, who wrote a great deal of religious poetry which was then highly esteemed formally announces in his preface that he has spun out his poems as long as he could, for he observed that when people were reading sacred poems at home, they preferred long ones.
Gervinus, a severe judge of sacred poetry in general, says of Gerhardt: "If one man among the poets of the seventeenth century makes an attractive impression on us, it is Gerhardt. He recurred, as no one else had done, to Luther's genuine type of the popular religious song, only with such modifications as the altered circumstances demanded.In Luther's time the old wrathful, implacable God of the Romanists had assumed the heavenly aspect of grace and compassion; with Gerhardt the Merciful and just One is a loving and benignant Man, whom he addresses with reverential intimacy. With Luther, it was the belief in free grace and the work of Atonement, in the Redemption which had burst the gates of hell, which inspired the Christian singer with his joyous confidence; with Gerhardt it is his faith in the love of God.
https://www.hymnsandcarolsofchristmas.com/Hymns_and_Carols/Biographies/paul_gerhardt.htm


TLH#349 - Jesus Thy Boundless Love   
                       
TLH#142 - A Lamb Goes Uncomplaining Forth
                 
The Lection                            The Passion History

TLH#171 - Upon the Cross Extended                   

Gerhardt - Confession and Bearing the Cross
TLH#528 - If God Himself Be For Me
verses 1, 11-15

 The Prayers
The Lord’s Prayer
The Collect for Grace                                            p. 45

TLH#554 - Now Rest Beneath Night's Shadow
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Kindle Unlimited Sign Up - 30 Day Free Trials



Kindle Unlimited Sign Up:


If you doubt the value of Kindle e-books on your computer or mobile device, try this 30 day free trial. You can download all the Gregory L. Jackson books - because they are all listed as Kindle Unlimited as well as being in print.

I get my favorite books both ways, because I take some books along to read and want them on the computer for easy quoting.


https://www.amazon.com/Pastor-Gregory-L.-Jackson/e/B00MDC6S4U?ref_=pe_1724030_132998060




'via Blog this'
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More Ecclesia College Opinions - Rep Ballinger’s conflicts make him the wrong messenger for FOIA exemption | Conduit for Action

Oren's mom, his sister Angie, and his sister Twila
all support him. But Ecclesia College revenue supports them.
A former coach and a former board member are suing
the college for its poor management and for
ducking the FOIA request for where the money went.


Rep Ballinger’s conflicts make him the wrong messenger for FOIA exemption | Conduit for Action:

"Representative Bob Ballinger is spearheading SB373 in the House of Representatives.[i]  His involvement has the appearance of conflict and he should do the prudent thing and withdraw from the bill.

First, Representative Ballinger is a member of the Story Law Firm which is representing Ecclesia College in its efforts to avoid disclosure of documents under an FOIA request. The documents relate to the receipt of state General Improvement Fund (GIF) money awarded to the private college by legislators.[ii] Recently, Travis Story of the Story Law Firm filed a motion on behalf of Ecclesia College to dismiss the FOIA lawsuit.[iii]

SB373 would exempt the work product of Ballinger and the Story Law Firm concerning the GIF received by the college.

If Ecclesia College sounds familiar it may be because former state Representative Micah Neal pled guilty to a kickback scheme in the award of GIF money to the college. Former state Senator Jon Woods and Oren Paris III, the President of Ecclesia College, are under indictment.

Second, Ballinger is one of several legislators who authorized some of “their share” of GIF funds to Ecclesia College to purchase land. In 2013-2014 he directed a total of $8,500 to the college. There has been no indication of wrong doing by Ballinger in the awards. But, since one former legislator has pled guilty of kickbacks, it is a bad decision for Ballinger to be involved in legislation that could close the door on FOIA requests concerning public funds received by Ecclesia College.

Third, before moving to the Story Law Firm, Ballinger did legal work for Ecclesia College.  After allocating $8,500 of “his” GIF to the college, Ballinger did the legal work on the purchase. He prepared the deed and prepared the title insurance.  Perhaps he didn’t receive any compensation for that work, but if he did, steering legal work to Ballinger might be seen by some as a payback for his award of state GIF to the private college. Even If Ballinger had done previous legal work for Ecclesia College, sending a GIF award to a client could look bad.

Note: There is confusion over the value of the land purchased by Ecclesia College.  The grant application says the total estimated project of purchasing twenty-three acres is $565,000.[iv] The Real Estate Tax Stamp says the purchase price was $675,000.[v] The estimated market value of the property by Benton County is $204,600.[vi]

Fourth, prior to the indictments, an Ecclesia College official described Ballinger as their attorney. Again, SB373, being spearheaded by Ballinger in the House of Representatives, would draw a curtain on his “communication or attorney work product” for Ecclesia College.

Representative Bob Ballinger should reevaluate his involvement in SB373. We think the prudent thing to do, to avoid a conflict concerning this bill, is to withdraw from it."



'via Blog this'
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Before the Storm - Pruning and Watering Roses.
Plus Some Really Bad Ideas about Growing Roses

Cats can be captured simply by putting a box out,
the tighter the fit, the better.

Yesterday promised a real thunderstorm, and more will be coming. Rain and hail delivered around 2 am. My first thought yesterday was to get some major rose pruning done, to see which roses were serious about growing this year.

The crepe myrte was already pruned - to use the old branches gone to seed as additional mulch.

Aphids knocked out the white KnockOut roses,
but only for a short time.


Roses need to have their cuttings removed because they are devilish to walk through and may spread disease. The initial pruning with the big shears for tough canes can be followed later by more precise pruning. Every prune is good for the roses, so no one should hesitate, thinking, "Oh, this will hurt the plant." Just the opposite is true.

Pruning and rain are two ways to spur growth, so I brought buckets of rainwater from the barrels to pour on favorite roses, in case the storm was over-reported and unable to deliver significant rain.

I was in the peasant-hauling-water mood, so I did the same with all the roses along the fence. I knew the rain barrels would be filled and overflowing in the next few days with nowhere to put the excess.

Cardinals love the crepe myrtle bush for their nests
and for the seeds formed by the flowers.

Our neighbor came over with two bare-root roses as a gift. They were in a plastic bag and looked good, so I dropped them in a rain barrel. I was hoping for semi-floating, but both sank to the bottom. I thought, "A search deep in ice-cold water tomorrow is on the schedule."

Sometimes my wheelbarrow has enough water for a plant soak. I use that or a barrel with stored tapwater. Rainwater delivers natural fertilizer and a complete absence of chlorine, so that is always the preferred treatment for all new plants in pots or bare-root roses.

I am inclined to let them soak overnight, whatever the plant. Anything shipped, bagged, or from a store is bound to be dehydrated.



Really Bad Ideas for Roses - And Why These "Experts" Should Study Creation and Organic Gardening

 I have the opportunity to read or hear truly awful suggestions for planting roses.

  • "Soak the roses in chlorine bleach water, to remove all pathogens." Microbes are good for plants, and bacteria are the staff of life for the other microbes. The chlorine will halt all the beneficial aspects of microbes and probably add the chemical blast to the soil as well. We do not need to manage the Manager. 
  • "Soak the plants in a mix of chemical fertilizer and water." Yes, this chemical engineer showed me how to fill the hole in the soil with tapwater, stir in Rapid-Gro, and plant the rose. This plan is not as bad as chlorine, but the effects are similar. Fast-growth from chemicals will be countered by the effect of the fertilizer nuking the microbes.
  • "Use systemic poisons to kill anything on or near the plant, because the plant moves the toxic around its vascular system."  Systemic toxins will be in the soil and move into the water table, suppressing microbes and who knows what else in the long run. This ends the work of the spiders and beneficial insects that live from the pests on the rose bush. If you hate the destruction of aphids, you will love the way various beneficial insects eat them or lay eggs on and near them. I let the aphids attack the white and Peace roses on the first round of blooming. "Aphids, you are merely feeding the new generation of aphid-eaters in my garden. You have been weighed in the balance and found wanting." A summer of nearly perfect roses follows my refusal to kill all beneficial beings by aiming at aphids.
  • "Use pre-emergent weed killer, according to directions." This is another wide spread attack based on fears or pure laziness. Gardeners weed and take some pleasure in weeding or complaining about weeding. My systemic approach to weeds starts with a layer of cardboard - followed by a layer of leaves, shredded wood, or pine needles.
  • "You must spray fungicide all summer long. I got tired of that." Here is the hated word - blackspot. Almost all roses are vulnerable to blackspot, because the Persian Yellow rose introduced colors and blackspot into the hybrid gene pool. I never spray fungicide because that will knockout the delicate fungal strands feeding and protecting the roses. I get leaves with blackspot, but the overall health of the roses keeps them from being overwhelmed. If the leaves are ugly, I cut them off before placing them in a vase. Some leaves are great, and they remain.
 This revolutionary book explains how microbes are the
foundation of all soil life and plants.

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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

From 2009 - The Icha-Slang Lexicon Will Be Part of the New Lutheran Dictionary.
Everything Is Worse Under SP Mark Schroeder



Someone has requested explanations for neologisms (new words) found on Ichabod, suggesting the term Ichaslang, which is yet another neologism.

Bi-sectsual is a term for services that claim to blend Lutheran and Babtist worship.

GA - is not a term I invented. The initials stand for Gemuetlicher Abend (friendly evening), but GA is a week of hazing. WELS claims it has stopped, but it is still going on secretly, among the few who preserve its sacred character. GA starts with lying about whether there will be GA, which is inflicted on first-year students. Hazing has been universally practiced in WELS schools, so this is not new for most students. GA is full of deception and scare tactics. Most of the present ministerium went through GA. They are forbidden to tell its secrets, even to their wives. Anyone who knows or tells is punished. Anyone who objects to GA is pushed out of WELS or punished.

Blogicide - When someone like Tim Glende creates a Chicanery blog and erases it, he is said to have committed blogicide. Paul McCain wisely committed blogicide when his Cyberbrethren embarrassment attracted attention for its constant plagiarism of The Catholic Encyclopedia and the posted comments praising him for his "latest post." Haha.

Gurgle - Ex-SP Gurgel has been renamed by a WELS pastor. Gurgle stands for the noise WELS was making as it went down the drain during his administration. He did the same thing as a District Pope, despoiling the MilCraft Estate. Gurgle did even more damage as SP, using up the Schwan loot and going after all the designated funds. He now works as Dom Perignon Patterson's campaign manager.

Anonymouse - Two people (approximately) are Anonymouse. One was Tim Glende, who even named a blog Anonymouse, before erasing it, creating blogicide. Another Mouse is a very nasty ELCA pastor whose invective is a constant source of amusement and inspiration.

Babtist - There are two types of Baptists, as someone explained at Wheaton College. "There are Baptists, and Ba-a-a-a-btists." The Southern and more conservative ones will often call themselves B-a-a-a-abtists, so I use that term for Brother Ed Stetzer and Brother Andy Stanley, both adored by the members of Church and Chicanery.

Dom Perignon Patterson. The Central Southeran Babtist District of WELS has been influenced by Patterson, who earned his nickname from livin' high off the hog while applying for synod subsidies.

Forward in Confusion - The Northwestern Lutheran was renamed Forward in Christ to get rid of the odious name Lutheran. WELS pastors have nicknamed it Forward in Confusion because the magazine obviously promotes the anti-Lutheran Church and Chicanery bunch while pretending to be Lutheran. Also known as: Forward in Chicanery. Now that Lutheran has finally been added to the cover page, the magazine is known as FICL or FICKLE.

Ichapeek - when you have to get one last quick look at Ichabod before going to bed. From Mrs. Joe Krohn.

Ichawidow - when your husband spends too much time on Ichabod. From Mrs. Joe Krohn, Ichawidow.

Immersing Churches. The Emerging Churches are just another name for ChurchGrowthy churches. They are Immersing Churches because most of them are Babtist or Pentecostal.

To Kilcrease
[v. kill-krees-e; n. kill-krees] verb, -creased, -creas·ing,  noun
–verb (used with object)
1. to eliminate; to remove evidence of,  confession, opinion, or error; decrease; take away from: to kilcrease the  evidence.

Scholars are divided, but some think the word began to be used when a Roman Catholic adjunct instructor started erasing his own blog posts and comments.

Brett Meyer, Assistant Lexicographer. Daniel Baker, Contributing Lexicographer.

The Love Shack - WELS headquarters: so named because the Church Growth people talk about love all the time but show so little, unless they are talking about Fuller Seminary, Trinity in Deerfield, Willow Creek, or Leonard Sweet. This has been renamed The Guilt Factory, because everyone should feel guilty for not doing more to prop up the salaries of the residents there. Since the Love Shack is moving to Pewaukee, the newly approved name will be PU Towers - for Pewaukee Universalist.

The Sausage Factory - The Evangelical Lutheran Synod has nicknamed the WELS seminary this because all the graduates come out looking exactly the same. That sameness is actually a goal of the school.

Church and Chicanery - The Church and Change organization in WELS is the somewhat stealthy faction running The Love Shack, The Sausage Factory, and FIC. Thy bow the knee to Leonard Sweet, New Age Professor of Wikiletics, so they are Sweet-hearts. They also love Brother Stetzer as much as he loves food. Luther, they know little about - and what they do know, they despise.

To Knapp - Borrowing double-justification from George Christian Knapp. Hence the Syn Conference has been caught knapping.

To kelm or to parlow: copying another parson's sermons and taking credit for them. In the Patterson Circuit, a copied sermon is called a doebler. Kelming and parlowing are often followed by large but undeserved grants. A doebler is always backed by rock music and disappointing grant allotments.

To Krohn - To encourage someone to write a letter or meet with a pastor to discuss doctrine, the first step in excommunicating a person who actually follows that advice. Because of the Appleton incident, which was almost identical, this term is considered synonymous with Rick-Rolling.

 Kudu Don Patterson - Kudu Don was going by the nickname Gunga Don until I read his email calling me a fool and a liar. His email name is Kudu Don, apparently inspired by a wild deer he loves to hunt in Africa. That does sound better than Zebra Don. Left unexplained is how he can hunt animals in Africa and beg the synod for a grant to pay the vicar each year. Kudu Don took a passle of WELS guys to see Babtist Ed Stetzer at the Exponential Conference.

Mary Lou College is the place where Church and Chicaneries have a field day. It used to be called Martin Luther College, but that is hardly appropriate. Before that, it was Dr. Martin Luther College, nicknamed Dumb Man's Last Chance, for those men who decided teaching parochial school was easier than all that Greek and Hebrew.

Perish Consultants - The Wisconsin Synod pimps parish consultants out to congregations. These Fuller-trained consultants tell churches to start modern worship, etc. These inept leaders are killing congregations, so they are aptly named Perish Consultants. They work under the banner of the gold-plated, high living Board of Perish Services. BPS = Church and Chicanery = Fuller/Willow Creek/Sweet/Stetzer/Emerging Church.

Popcornites - They are a sect within the Wisconsin Sect. They organize their entertainment sessions around popcorn, soda, snacks, and latte - all served during church. If you enjoy hearing popcorn munched during the Prayer of the Church and sode slurped during the Groeschel sermon, you are a Popcornite.

Rick-Rolling - Not to be confused with the April Fool's joke. Rick-Rolling is the process of encouraging someone to write a letter to and meet with those WELS clergy who are promoting false doctrine, plagiarism, and deception. This is better than April's Fool, because the Doctrinal Pussycat ducks the meeting and leaves a letter blaming Ichabod for the mess he has created. Next the pastors excommunicate the member who followed WELS advice and the DP agrees. Rick-Rolling is jolly good fun for the rollers but not for the rollee. Synonymous with Krohning someone.

The Little Sect on the Prairie - The Little House on the Prairie was situated in Minnesota, so the tiny group of Lutherans in the Evangelical Lutheran Synod deserve a similar name.

The Little Schoolhouse on the Prairie - Bethany Lutheran College and Seminary are small, in spite of the large dollops of money from Marvin Schwan.

Pope John the Malefactor - ELS President John Moldstad starting behaving better after we lost count of how often he extended the Left Foot of Fellowship to pastors and congregations. When people questioned his qualifications to teach New Testament at the Little School on the Prairie, he hastened to finish his college degree. They have standards to uphold.

The Left Foot of Fellowship - When a pastor or congregation is kicked out of a synod, it is called extending the Left Foot of Fellowship.

Rydeckied - When the District President promises the congregation to continue discussing doctrine and suspends the pastor instead, that pastor is considered Rydeckied. WELS often extends the Left Foot of Fellowship, but when the action is especially duplicitous, it is considered a Rydecki.

St. Marvin of Schwan - The late donor and owner of Schwan Frozen Foods has been preached into heaven by the bagmen of three synods (WELS, ELS, LCMS). Somehow Marvin Schwan managed to bankrupt all three while giving away so much money after his death. His second wife went back to the Church of Rome, suggesting that money is efficacious in converting people.

Stealth Pastors, Stealth Churches - When pastors and congregations refuse to use the name Lutheran, they deserve the appellation of stealth. They lust for loot from their synods, but they want to fly under the radar in their own communities. They call that witnessing. Paul Kuske started the first stealth congregation in Columbus - Pilgrim Community Church. Attendance climbed to 3 (three), approximately the size of the Church Growth staff.

Stealth Organizations - When one unit within a synod drops the name Lutheran, it earns the stealth title. WELS has dropped Lutheran from the magazine title, the hymnal, Lutherans For Life, and other entities. Stand back and watch it grow!

The Surrendered Fort - Graduates of Concordia, Ft. Wayne enjoy calling it The Fort, but that school has waved the white flag in the face of Eastern Orthodoxism and Roman Catholicism. If the graduates do not join the Willow Creek army, they pope or semi-pope. Poping is an old term for joining the Roman Catholics. Semi-poping is for those who want the incense without the baggage.

Our Lady of Sorrows - Concordia, St. Louis, is just as anxious as The Fort (sic) to send young men to Rome and Eastern Orthodoxy. Two clues about their ultimate exits are a nauseating obsession with clerical garments and an unholy obsession with the Virgin Mary. St. Louis also produces Church Growth experts like Paul Kelm (DMin, Our Lady of Sorrows).

Safe Sects - The Church Growth drones argue that they can safely nestle among the despisers of the Mean of Grace. The gurus are just experimenting with safe sects.
Tim Feltneeds - At Bailing Water, Tim Niedfelt is always promoting his Church Growth ideas, which began in WELS under the name of "felt needs." Someone suggested the nickname of Tim Feltneeds, who is a follower of the Rock and Roll blog. Surprise?

Staph Ministry is a program headed by Lawrence Otto Olson (Our Staph Infection) to spread Fuller doctrine and the ordination of women in WELS. This contagion has grown to a large number of people, proving how infectious Church Growth can be.

Websty - When a toxic group or congregation has a website, it becomes a websty. Example: Church and Chicanery has its own websty.

Some Church and Chicanery congregations are:


  1. Rock and Roll Lutheran - with its own apologetic blog.
  2. Latte Lutheran, featuring the first woman pastor in WELS.
  3. CrossWalk, in Phoenix, Arid-zona. The city needed another WELS church, another Church Growth church, another stealth church.
  4. CrossRoads - now Evangelical Covenant, but started by WELS DP Robert Mueller and VP Paul Kuske, and three WELS pastors - Rick Miller, Kelly Voigt, and Mark Freier.
  5. CrossRoads, Chicago has a pastor who knelt at the feet of Leonard Sweet even before C and C had their Leonard Sweet conference.


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    Church and Chicaneries speak with forked tongues, so their words need translation. Their terms are listed below, reverently posted in red, followed by their real meaning:

    Outreach - Sheep-stealing from other congregations.

    Excellent Worship - Entertainment by a Praise Band.

    Praise Band - Members of various denominations who want to perform in a Lutheran church.

    Ichabod! - Our funds are being cut.

    Violating the Eighth Commandment - Publishing our false doctrine.

    Violating Matthew 18 - Failure to speak privately to us about our public sins, because we need time to trash the speaker before anyone pays attention to him.

    Church Consultant - Fuller Seminary graduate.

    Mission Counselor - Fuller Seminary graduate.

    Seminary Professor - Fuller Seminary graduate.

    Staff Ministry - Finding a way to ordain women.

    WELS Prayer Institute - A place for Chicaneries to hide in case Church and Change is shut down.

    Foundation Grants - The lifeblood of C and C.

    Thrivent Grants - The lifeblood of C and C.

    Synod Subsidies - The lifeblood of C and C.

    Stewardship - Arranging for various funds to keep us going because we hate to give.

    Totally Awesome Worship Leader - Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Marc Driscoll, etc.




    Baby Blue Eyes sees nothing wrong, and if it is wrong, it's harmless.
    Baby Blue Eyes will cry if Holy Mother Synod is criticized.


    Ichabodians know that the Chicaneries never tell the truth - they even deny belonging to Church and Change. Their hearts and minds are wrapped around Fuller, Willow Creek, Granger, NorthPoint, Exponential, Trinity Deerfield, and Leonard Sweet, but "they are not Changers." Ask Vicar Gurgle, whose dad at Mequon posted Chicanery diatribe on the Church and Change listserve.

    Ask Kudu Don Patterson, who led a Bible study of sorts at a Church and Chicanery conference.

    The Baby Blue Eyes are a different breed, easily exploited by the Shrinkers. Holy Mother WELS can do not wrong, so there must be something terribly evil about anyone who suggests otherwise.

    All the false teachers are "nice guys." How could a classmate be wrong about anything?

    Worse, they are relatives. Blood is thicker than doctrine in all denominations. For instance, I wondered how Pope John the Malefactor (Little Sect on the Prairie) could stay in office. Then I read that someone named Moldstad helped found the ELS. Case closed.
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