(apologies to Meredith Wilson and his classic 76 Trombones)
Seventy-six Paul Kelms led the big parade,
With a hundred and ten Parlows close at hand,
They were followed by rows and rows of the Fuller gloriosos,
The stars of every Luthrun band.
Seventy-six Pietists signed at Willow Creek,
With a hundred and ten Wernings right behind,
There were more than a thousand cells springing up like Hell,
There were horns of every demon kind.
There were silver-plated false prophets in limousines,
Making goals, marketing, all along the way,
Doubled-chinned, fat phonies, in their leisure suits,
Leisure suits woven in neutral gray.
There were fifty mounted leaders in WELS Church and Change,
Feminists, womenists, louder than before.
Martinets of every size and capons who'd improvise
A full octave higher than the score.
Seventy six Ron Roths hit the counter point,
While a hundred and ten Olsons played the air,
To the rhythm of 'Sell this plan!'
All the sheep began to lamb
And they're still reproducing right today.