ELCA NEWS SERVICE
April 9, 2010
Valparaiso University ELCA Pastor Darlene Grega Dies
10-111-JB
CHICAGO (ELCA) -- The Rev. Darlene E. Grega, an Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) pastor serving at Valparaiso (Ind.) University was a "beloved member" of the Valparaiso family, said the university's president, Mark A. Heckler, in an April 7 message announcing her death.
The Porter (Ind.) County Coroner ruled Grega's death as a suicide, the Merrillville (Ind.) Post-Tribune reported April 9.
Grega, 55, joined the staff of the university's Chapel of the Resurrection in August 2008. She was the first ELCA pastor called to serve on the chapel staff of Valparaiso University, an independent Lutheran higher education institution. She served on a staff that included two Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod pastors, the Rev. Joseph R. Cunningham and the Rev. James A. Wetzstein.
"We mourn the loss of someone who cared deeply for the members of this community. Our sympathy and prayers are with Pastor Grega's son, Nathan, her extended family, and her many friends here at Valpo and beyond," Heckler wrote in his announcement to the university community.
University faculty, staff and students paid tribute to Grega at an evening prayer service April 7 and at a morning prayer service April 8. The university will continue evening prayer services in Grega's memory through April 16, according to a Valparaiso spokesperson. A funeral or memorial service for Grega has not yet been announced.
"Pastor Grega has been a friend to many, and generously served our campus community since joining our chapel staff less than two years ago," Heckler wrote. "In particular she provided significant counsel and support to women on our campus and built relationships with our international students to help them feel welcomed here."
"We just lost a very fine colleague and are so saddened," Cunningham said in an interview with the ELCA News Service.
Grega presided at the April 4 Easter celebration at the chapel, a first for an ELCA pastor. "She had a great presence and was overjoyed. She did great, and we all commended her. That's why this is so shocking," Cunningham said.
Cunningham said Grega extended hospitality and care to many in the university community, including international students, women and Alliance, a community of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender students.
"My last image of her is the joy of the post-Easter celebration, and seeing her smile," he said. "As a professional, my last memory of her is her deep care and concern for others. It's just such a tremendous loss."
Grega's bishop was the Rev. James R. Stuck, ELCA Indiana-Kentucky Synod, Indianapolis. "My reaction was one of shock and sadness that this has happened," he said in an interview. "Her presence was very much appreciated by a lot of people. For her, it was a very rich ministry, and she would express that quite often. She provided a door for a lot of people in the community. It was a good and vibrant ministry for her."
Stuck recalled that Heckler's predecessor, the Rev. Alan F. Harre, led an effort to raise funds for an endowment for an ELCA pastor to serve on the Chapel of the Resurrection staff. Stuck said he fully expects the university will continue to have an ELCA pastor on the chapel staff in the future.
On behalf of the ELCA, the Rev. Mark S. Hanson, ELCA presiding bishop, extended condolences and sympathy for Grega's death to Heckler and the university community.
"Darlene's call to serve as the first ELCA pastor on the staff of the Chapel of the Resurrection has been the occasion for renewing and deepening our relationships with the University and its extended family of alumni and friends," Hanson wrote in an April 9 letter. "We have rejoiced in the strength of her service as university pastor with students, faculty and staff -- a ministry marked by her distinctive gifts of warm hospitality, gregarious compassion for the suffering and tenderhearted, and tenacious advocacy for those who have often been kept at the margins of Christian community and public life."
"Although the news of her death comes as a deep shock and disappointment, we entrust her to the mercy of God shown in Jesus Christ and share with you our hope in the promise of Christ's Resurrection," Hanson wrote.
Grega was born in Cleveland and graduated from Valparaiso University and the Lutheran Deaconess Program housed on campus. She earned a master of arts degree in theology from Duke University, Durham, N.C.; a master of arts degree in counseling from the University of North Dakota, Grand Forks; and a master of divinity degree from Luther Seminary, St. Paul, Minn.
Grega brought more than 25 years of experience in higher education to Valparaiso. She was director of international students at St. Cloud (Minn.) State University and director of the international center at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, Blacksburg, Va. She also had nine years' experience in campus ministry at colleges and universities in North Carolina, Minnesota and Texas.
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Information about Valparaiso University and the Chapel of the Resurrection is at http://www.valpo.edu on the Web.
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Rev. Darlene Grega, first female campus pastor at Valpo, has died of an apparent suicide. Her last official duties including celebrating Easter at the Chapel of the Resurrection. May she rest in peace.
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A changing tide at Valparaiso
©Pretty Good Lutherans
Over the summer, the Rev. Darlene Grega purchased a condo and transformed its garish pink decor into calming shades of beige. She’s putting down roots in northwestern Indiana, where she took a job a year ago.
Grega accepted a post at her alma mater, Valparaiso University, that no woman or pastor in her denomination had ever held in the school’s 150-year history. Valparaiso is somewhat of an anomaly among Lutheran schools because of its independence.
For more, see the link to Pretty Good Lutherans. They will be happy to sell the story to you.
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University Pastor Darlene E. Grega
Darlene.Grega@valpo.edu
Phone: 219-464-5099
Cell phone: 219 395-4952
Fax: 219-464-5049
AIM: vupastordarlene
Pastor Darlene Grega is the mentor for Fellowship House and the Residential Ministers (a.k.a. Piece Core). She leads the planning for the Chapel’s discernment retreats and has an abiding commitment to the spiritual needs of international students on our campus having worked, before ordination in 2006, over 20 years primarily with international students. She loves reconnecting at VU with the international community and offering them hospitality and helping others learn from them. A Valpo grad herself, she remembers the spiritual formation she received here and looks forward to being a new face in a crowd that is welcoming and committed to walking with you during your tenure here. By the way, you will also find her walking her Cavalier King Charles spaniel, Muffin, around campus, and keeping up with her son Nathan, a senior at the college of William and Mary who is studying neuroscience.
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From <NEWS@ELCA.ORG>
Date Thu, 14 Aug 2008 12:14:49 -0500
>ELCA News Blog
>August 14, 2008
ELCA Pastor Darlene Grega appointed to Valparaiso Chapel staff
>by Frank Imhoff, ELCA News Service
Valparaiso (Ind.) University appointed the Rev. Darlene
E. Grega, Trinity Lutheran Church, Canton, Ohio, to serve
as an associate pastor of its Chapel of the Resurrection
beginning Aug. 23. She joins the Rev. Joseph R. Cunningham,
university pastor and dean of the Chapel, and the Rev. James
A. Wetzstein, university associate pastor and associate dean
of the Chapel. Cunningham and Wetzstein are pastors of the
Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod (LCMS). Grega, a pastor of
the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA), is the
first non-LCMS pastor on the Chapel staff. Valparaiso
University is an independent Lutheran institution.
Grega, 53, was born in Cleveland and graduated from Valparaiso
University and the Lutheran Deaconess Program housed on
campus. She earned a master of arts degree in theology
from Duke University, Durham, N.C.; a master of arts degree
in counseling from the University of North Dakota, Grand
Forks; and a master of divinity degree from Luther Seminary,
St. Paul, Minn. Grega brings 25 years of experience in higher
education to Valparaiso. She was director of international
students at St. Cloud (Minn.) State University and director
of the international center at Virginia Polytechnic Institute
and State University, Blacksburg, Va. She also has nine
years of experience in campus ministry at colleges and
universities in North Carolina, Minnesota and Texas.
"We are delighted that Rev. Grega has accepted the call to
join the ministry team at the Chapel of the Resurrection,"
Cunningham said in a Valparaiso news release. "The ministry
of the chapel benefits from the presence of a pastor from
the ELCA. There are many areas of campus ministry where
Pastor Wetzstein and I are looking forward to cooperating
with Pastor Grega within the guidelines of our respective
church bodies." Cunningham said Grega will play a significant
role in residential ministry and will be encouraged to develop
new initiatives for international students at the university
while collaborating with chapel staff associated with the LCMS
in meeting the spiritual needs of the university community.
Oh, Justin...where to start? I guess that the best place for me to start is by asking that you not take offense to what I write. I don't mean to discourage you from questioning whether or not we're doing things the right way. I simply see things differently. I'd like to highlight to you where I see things differently than you do, so that perhaps we can both come out of this dialogue stronger (Proverbs 27:17).
I believe that your reasoning for opposing open dorms is a little bit of a non sequitur. Closing doors and having sex are against the rules even in this new policy. Therefore, if people are having sex (which I do not deny, but I believe that the amount suggested by your friend is exaggerated), it's still done outside of the rules. People do not have sex because of a lack of rules. They have sex because of a lack of respect for the rules, whether those rules are man's or God's (oh, and also probably because they want to.) To put it another way, a law never causes people to obey itself. On the contrary, law causes rebellion (Romans 7:7). Rather, it's a desire to follow laws that causes people to obey them. Therefore, instead of imposing another rule onto an already agitated conscience, we should instead seek to provide motivation to follow the rules that do exist.
Out of the theoretical and into the practical...Did people never have sex before last year? People can have sex on the weekends. People can have sex in places not their dorm rooms (as a member of campus security, I realize that it would be nearly impossible for us to find people who are earnestly trying to dodge us...but don't take advantage of that). People can have sex in places off campus. Where do we stop policing the behavior of our fellow Christians through legislation? The Bible doesn't talk about that. What the Bible does talk about is being concerned from your brothers and sisters in the faith and addressing that on a personal level. If you and your friend are so sure that sex is taking place on campus, you're probably aware of the people that are doing it. You should probably talk to them rather than attempt to place one small road block in their way that penalizes the rest of them that use this privilege appropriately.
I have plenty of thoughts about your second section, but I'll save those until I hear some clarification on one point that you didn't provide support for. You say that, "students should not see that (Party in the MLC) about their teachers. This is a serious problem". I'd like to hear what about this is a serious problem. Then, perhaps, I'll share some more thoughts.
There's more to be said about your comments about Christian freedom and the thought of MLC being a "normal" college, but I'll save that for another comment or perhaps my own blog post. There's been plenty said in this comment that should provide some grounds to continue this discussion.
Justin and Tyler, as someone who as you know doesn't go to MLC it is interesting to read all of these remarks. Tyler, I do agree with you in the fact that people will continue to have sex whether or not there is a rule prohibiting it, but Justin brings up a very valid point. Just because they can doesn't mean that we should give the picture that it is easier for them to now. It may be that laws cause rebellion but they can also form lines. I would assume that while the "closed dorm" policy was in place it influence people not to have sex. Whereas, giving a launching point for sin by allowing the opposite sex into the dorm throughout the week, does not seem like something our pastors and teachers should be in support of.
As to the video. Perhaps what Justin is saying is that it was fine to show it in the midst of friends, but to open it to the public where it can cause a negative perspective may have been taking it a little to far. Personally, I thought the video was hilarious, but the entire time in the back of my head I kept thinking, "these are the examples my children are going to have in there churches and schools?" I know that even pastors and teachers are full of their own faults, just as I am full of my own personal ones. However, giving such a negative view of teachers to future students is something as a lay person I will not want my children to be apart of. If it means that I need to not be in support of WELS teachers because they do not provide a proper example well then home schooling is the way I will go. I don't want you to be perfect, just understand and contemplate the image those students put out there for the world to see.
Kath and I have been discussing this for over an hour and a half. We can't seem to come to a conclusion and this is all very confusing. What we are wondering is if there are boundaries set for example, do doors need to stay open during the floor hours? We feel like practice should be had for many MLC students. I feel, not so much kath, however, that for the students too immature to handle these circumstances it seems like a sketchy situation. It certainly is a tough topic and maybe it will only take time to discern whether this decision was God pleasing or not.
In Christian Love
Kath and Stephen
Dear Friends,
If and when you get back to this I hope you find what I'm going to say enlightening. My point with open dorms is that when Paul says we must not have even a hint of sexuality, then we must take that as what it means. Now then, this doesn't signify that there will not be any sex between the student body, but at the least, at the very least, we cannot permit it on the campus. Not that it is better anywhere else, or at all, but that if a Christian life is not supposed to have a speck of sexual immorality then also this college must not have that sort of reputation. Previously, did it happen on the weekends? Certainly, but there are two thoughts that I have about this: first, that the RA's are far more likely to check in upstairs if their rounds come only so often and sitting in the cage downstairs is less of boring routine; second, for the students daring enough to come to these extremes having more opportunities to assimilate to a common environment for sex is now easier. What I mean is that before on weekends it was harder to get comfortable with hiding in someone's room trying to make out when you didn't know schedules of friends or roommates or when an RA would pop in. Now, it's terribly easy to feel the routines and avoid other people. Now, two more things, I'm not ignorant enough to think that this wouldn't just happen elsewhere on campus, but I don't want the feeling that someone on my floor right now could be having sex. I just don't like that. Also, I think there's something to be said about those people who can be trusted here on campus, there are many stalwart (great word or what?) students who would not even do such a thing. Yet, it must also be acknowledged that these dorms are homes for all of us who lives here, and though there are certain freedoms that go along with this, there also needs to be respect. I know that here in Concord this isn't always the case.
As to the video, it should never have been put on YouTube. It should not be on Facebook right now, and I'm appalled at the group that wants it back. Not because I think that we're not allowed to have fun, but because in light of future ministry children will see that video and it will change the image of their teacher. I merely want us all to be above reproach. There is already a comment on the Facebook group by a student that I feel a little sore about. There's something to be said about having fun and the subculture of MLC, but we cannot hope that everyone out there will understand us. To some it's funny, and that's fine, but to a parent who watches the video and sees their child's teacher, it could cause a problem. I'd like that to be prevented. I think this is all, sorry for the late response. Pax.
"Just because they can doesn't mean that we should give the picture that it is easier for them to now." I think this is a valid concern and that we could all agree that if our policies communicate a lax attitude towards sex or that we're making it easier for people to do it, that it'd be a bad policy. However, I do not believe that this is the case with this policy. My support for this relies on the fact that open dorms during the week does not greatly differ than open dorms on the weekend.
First of all, the enforcement of the rules is exactly the same on the weekends as it is during the weeks. This neither communicates a lax attitude nor does it facilitate sexual immorality. You can argue that the enforcement isn't good enough, but that's a matter of enforcement, not policy. To distinguish between times is not founded.
Second, I'm nothing short of perplexed as to how you arrived at the conclusion that sex is easier to plan during the weeks than on the weekends. I find that during the week it can be hard enough to plan a nap because of roommates' study or video game plans. I can't imagine trying to plan a little 7:30-10 delight. However, I know that on weekends that jobs, sports, visits home and evening plans provide ample opportunity for this rampant sex to occur.
Justin opened his comment by saying, "when Paul says we must not have even a hint of sexuality, then we must take that as what it means." I couldn't agree more. However, I believe that I've sufficiently shown that this policy doesn't communicate to anyone that the college encourages promiscuity. The hints of sexual immorality that are present are present on an individual, not institutional level. Again, this should not be a matter of policy, but of individual concern, both on the parts of fellow students and the dorm staff.
Justin, someone on your floor could be having sex. this could happen regardless of what the policies were. We could provide anecdotes supporting this, but it's beside the point. The people living in your dorms are sinful. If you're looking for a place where you know that no sin is happening, you'll have a very disappointing life.
Above reproach is a term that's thrown around a lot, but it usually carries very little meaning. In order to clearly define our terms, we need to once again get out of the theoretical and into the real. This is how it's defined in my mind:
(I expect that if someone still wishes to make the claim that this video causes its stars to lose their above reproach status that you'll either argue with my definition or provide concrete examples of how my fellow Summitites no longer measure up to it)
A person is no longer above reproach if his actions prevent him from effectively ministering to someone struggling with anyone.
For example, if a person regularly drinks in public and ends up drunk, this would cause problems for him in an attempt to minister to someone with a drinking problem. If a person was unfaithful in a relationship, this would cause problems for him in marriage counseling or in confronting someone about breaking his or her marital vow.
So, even if the video was seen by every student or parishioner that will ever be served by the men in that video, what would be the perceivable area in which they could be reproached?
*"...someone struggling with anything."
I apologize for my lack of proofreading. I generally figure that my composition is impeccable, but I often find that my sausage like fingers can't quite keep up with the speed of my mind. Ok, or maybe I just messed up.
Tyler,
I have a couple thoughts that I think will tie the entire matter together, because I think that when we are talking about this video and about open dorms it is the same thing. We are saying there must not be even a hint of sexuality, and why? So that they may be above reproach. I think that while the school doesn't say in its policy it advocates sex, it must take into consideration that sex will and does occur. Thus, maybe there must be some sort of policy enforcing stricter rules or patrolling or such. All so that not only the school, but also, the student may be above reproach. My point about it being easier to have sex during the week is easily shown. When you enter a new environment you must warm up to it. Then, even when you are completely comfortable there, possibly some things you may not do. I think that it is the same thing here, if you become accustomed to being in your room and progressing further and further through this sexual crescendo then eventually nothing in that environment holds you back. If it were only weekends, getting comfortable happens less fast. Also, you argue that there is you cannot perceive the difference between planning sex during the week as in contrast to the weekend. I argue that on the weekends it would be much harder because RA's would feel more inclined to make rounds and you become comfortable there less fast. On the week nights, it is easier to find the time when your roommate is going to be gone or busy and you can have the room to yourself. I mean that you learn more quickly and are able to replicate everything faster having week nights as an option. Once again so that we may be above reproach. All of us. The students in the "Party in the MLC" video also.
I think that first, I must define being above reproach. Paul says in 1 Tim. 3:2, "Now the overseer must be above reproach...." Now, Luther says about this: "that he may not be a fornicator, an adulterer, a greedy man, a foul-mouthed person, a drunkard, a gambler, a slanderer." (I sort of feel like Greg Jackson right now, but I'm coming to a good point.) Two more things I think that are important to keep in my before we clearly lay this down is the word ἀνέγκλητος which is used in Titus 1:6-7 and is translated "Blameless." Lastly, “We put no stumbling block in anyone's path, so that our ministry will not be discredited” (1 Corinthians 6:3). Now then I want to work a definition of this ministerial qualification. We can see that a minister must blameless, not before God, but transparent before men. There can be nothing evident in his life that could hinder someone's faith. To be above reproach is more than just not being able to minister to one group. It means we must be conscious of every group and able to always minister to them. Now then, we must find that matter of how they here may have forfeited this (I don't think they really did, but it's close in the public eye). Can we say insensitivity? How about being a poor role model? How about causing offense to those of weak faith? How about the image of MLC? To me, there is something very disgusting to see men acting like that, it wasn't funny to me. Now then, I think that this is what needs to be said about this. The part I despise most about this is that on the FaceBook group there is a student of Krause who has seen this video. They thought it was funny, but how much does it make that student feel like it would be okay to copy him. I think that as students we can do better, as future ministers we can be more, and that all in all our actions need to be more monitored.
(One last thing, I'm not Greg Jackson, I advocate having fun in a good setting, but how are we to have fun when we're imitating sin? We can do better. In light of MLC, the video went over well, I just think that nothing like it should be made again, nor do I think it should be on Facebook. I'm sure the train has left the station on this matter though.)