Monday, March 14, 2011

Cell Groups Are Powerful for the Power-hungry

This is not Yoda, but Paul Calvin Kelm, the cool, young, hip chaplain at Willowcreek's Liberal College.
God called a second chaplain to set up cell groups,
to "explode evangelism" into Milwaukee.
All WLC got was Pops.



LPC has left a new comment on your post "Not Sold on Cell Groups":

I have seen this all during my charismaniac dayz while I was pastoring an ethnic church.

Whereas at the start it might be about Jesus but later on, the social aspect takes over and it becomes a club with a little Jesus on the side.

What is specially heart breaking was that when the church had to deal with controversy, the social connections prevail over Biblical directives. In fact the Bible was not consulted at all.

LPC

***

GJ - A cell or small group is organized along certain principles. Cells usually take on a unit integrity, for good or ill. They have to be relatively small for that to work, usually six or less. Navy SEAL teams are based on that number. Political cells are too.

The question is whether the cells can be united along common principles. A clever church demagogue can organize cells to become his attack dogs. They can be his slaves, too.

The Shrinkers adore men and women who can order people around, because they would much rather be tyrants than ministers.

What was that word on Glende's famous shirt? Maybe "Tyrant" was just a coincidence.

False teachers in the Olde Syn Conference organize cell groups and promote them elsewhere because the method is so useful in subverting the Gospel. As Dr. Cruz noted, Jesus is soon set aside.

Cell groups work best in churches with shallow doctrine. When Lutherans organize cell groups, doctrine disintegrates down to superficial Pentecostal-Babtist levels. Lutheran cells are easily invaded by Pentecostals and non-Christian cults. One Adventist minister went to LCMS lay-led Bible studies and lectured the group as if he were in charge. He was a law-monger in love with OT details.

Cell groups are intimate, so they generate an emotional intensity that fosters adultery. One of the cults had people engaged in spiritual dancing, until the parish blew apart from all the scandals. Lutherans solve the problem by letting the pastor get divorced, marry his mistress, and move to another call.

The high-voltage emotionalism also makes it easy for a Pentecostal guest to say, "If you love the closeness and warmth of this bobble-study group, I can show you a way to let God speak through you with the Holy Spirit. Sha-na-na wowsa lacrima-balalika." Cell groups turn Pentecostal faster than Ski copies Groeschel.

Cell groups also lead to burn out, because the manufactured highs get boring and more ecstatic experiences are required.

One way to unite all the cell groups is with hate. They hate Luther's doctrine. They often hate and despise the minister because they are Apostles led directly by the Holy Spirit.

When a Lutheran church is going cell-groupy, they will hate anyone out who gets in their way: minister, lay leaders, members. They will do that while invoking the Name of Jesus and praising their own love. It is easier to rob a she-bear of her cubs than to stop a Pentecostal Lutheran in his folly.

Please Take Tim Glende Seriously As a Mequon Graduate, Deputy Doug Pal, And Katy Perry's Main Squeeze

Katy Perry was paid to pose with Tim Glende,
who looks like a character from a teen comedy in this photo.


Tim Glende's Anonymous Blog

WELS Pastor Fired after the Worship Service? Really?

In a post today that accompanies a picture of the pope, Dr. Gregory L. Jackson writes on his blog, Ichabod the Glory Has Departed,

"An elder walked up to the pastor after the service and said, 'You're fired.'

Look at the list of Church and Changers getting calls and promotions, the newly graduating Sausages needing a call."


This is journalism and blogging at its best, folks! No name, no date, no place. We're just to accept this bit of GOSSIP because Dr. Jackson says so.

Is it any wonder most readers don't take this "pastor-without-a-call" seriously?

***

GJ - The call reports will offer the information in a couple of weeks.

People know that I post factual information and prove it when necessary.

An attorney, a member of Tim's congregation, refuses to attend church at St. Peter, Freeday. This attorney has published letters and blog posts showing that Glende and Ski are spoiled bullies who plagiarize their sermons and deceive people. Ask Tony Kubek.

Everyone should take Glende seriously, because he is the voice of Church and Change. He has already made the leap from Spener to Groeschel.

His enabler, Ron Ash, is taking a call to Europe. Perhaps Pastor Tim will let us know what that means. Ron could fill the pews again in Eurabia with his creative methods borrowed from Fuller Seminary.

I think Glende is upset that so much pressure was put on Ski to skip Change and Die! that he actually dropped out. That is the moment Glende went Medieval.

Everyone is pleased as punch that Glende is taking down Church and Change in such a loud, obnoxious, public way. Most pastors would be content to work their evil behind the scenes, so they could deny the obvious.

Glende's last words will be, "Do you know who my uncle is?"

---

Ben Wink has left a new comment on your post "Please Take Tim Glende Seriously As a Mequon Gradu...":

He might be upset because the only way that people read his blog is on this blog. Frankly I wouldn't have even known it existed if it weren't mentioned on real Ichabod. Although with two posts now for all of 2011 and both in March, he is on a bit of a roll. With only 290 or so days left in the year maybe he can beat last year's record 28 posts!

I thought Church and Change loved technology to get their message across. You can't swing a dead cat without PowerPoint or midi files or Twittering on about their gospel in some such Changer methodology. But yet that blog usually gets updated during every equinox and solstice and leap year.

I should think that the best way to make his case would be to respond and respond often, especially when being attacked so that there is dialogue and a well-structured argument, but it would appear that his silence is loud enough and rather telling in its own way. When you don't have an answer, I guess you either bluster your way blindly through anyway or just shut up.

I guess I would expect more from a "pastor-with-a-call", but so far I'm not impressed.

Narrow-Minded on Prep Work



Narrow-minded Lutheran has left a new comment on your post "Cell Groups Are Also a Reliable Litmus Test for Pi...":

So I guess if I have a heart attack in the future, I should request ahead of time that the EMT open me up on the way to the hospital to see what's wrong. Why wait to get to the hospital for the cardiac specialist? This is not to say that the EMT's vocation is not God-pleasing, but he's not a cardiac specialist. Since my comments regarding small groups in the below thread are "baseless," this would seem to be a analogous scenario.

I feel sorry for someone who is not "satisfied" by Word and Sacrament; however, I will concede that finding such a parish is becoming increasingly difficult. On the other hand, in congruence with American consumerism, churches sell what most people are wanting in a church: Moralistic therapeutic deism.

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June, 2010 to March, 2011

I like your style.
For all my life, I prayed for someone like you, oh yeah.
I want to know, the look in your eyes,
tell me you feel the same way too, oh yeah.



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Cell Groups Are Also a Reliable Litmus Test for Pietism

The comb-over, men with permed or streaked or spikey hair, the twisted smile, the hatred of Luther's doctrine, and above all -
an abiding trust in cell groups:
all are true signs of Pietism.


PC Xian wants us to believe that he used his real name. Oh wait, it is Paul C. Christian. Therefore, when he signs in as PC Xian, everyone knows that is almost his legal name, or they remember his actual name, if they know him.

Cell groups are like that. Everyone knows they are the heart and soul of Pietism, the method behind the madness. Confessional Lutherans emphasize the efficacy of the Word alone and the Means of Grace. Both represent the unified truth of the Christian faith.
Jeske's signature twisted smile is a good indicator of Pietism.
Cell group advocates are not happy people,
because they have to do so much to prop up God's Kingdom.
It's exhausting and expensive, but you can help.



Pietists emphasize cell groups, because they know God's Word is too weak to work on its own. Having a deeper understanding of these hidden things, they realize that the sermon must be propped up by a picked squad of cell group devotees. Man must step in and help when God has no hands but ours, no legs but ours, no money but ours. What would He do without us?

Unfortunately, Luther did not realize this. He relied on the preached Word to halt the papacy's progress and to silence the Zwickau prophets. He was not the visioneer of the Reformation - he simply taught the Word.

Rob Bell has streaked, permed hair and a twisted smile - triple alert!
Warning Master Robinson, warning, warning.

WELS Pastor Fired after the Worship Service

My methods are catching on.


An elder walked up to the pastor after the service and said, "You're fired."

Look at the list of Church and Changers getting calls and promotions, the newly graduating Sausages needing a call.