The Birth Order Book - Kevin Leman, PhD
I have had a lot of respect for Kevin Leman, from the beginning of his career. His common sense approach is looking at the birth order of children in relationship to their parents' birth order.
This cannot be summarized in a few sentences, but only indicated. These are tendencies, not rigid rules.
- Most architects, pilots, and pastors are first born or only children.
- Many entertainers are the babies of the family.
- Middle children are a puzzle to the rest, because they tend to be independent people, often diplomatic, sometimes a rebel, who value long-term relationships.
I asked a group of pastors:
- Who is a first-born or only child? Most of the hands went up.
- Who is a second-born child? A scattering of hands went up.
- Who is the third-born child? One hand went up, mine.
This really comes down to the way parents treat their children, not some magical formula. First-born children get a lot of attention and a lot of new clothing. They often end up caring for the younger ones. They tend to be dominant and successful, perfectionists.
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| Becky was an only child, "an adult before she was eight." |
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| One of the great books of English literature - does anyone read it? |
Only-children are even more so. They have two parents who treat them as another adult. Only-children have said to me, "Yes, I was the crown jewel of the family, and very self-centered. I was an adult before I was eight years old." That is also noted in Thackeray's Vanity Fair. They are very successful in what they do.
Of the first 25 or so Apollo astronauts, all of them were first-born or only-children.
Everybody Loves the Baby of the Family
Many times the parents decide they really do not know that much about children, so they decide to enjoy the baby of the family. Everything the baby does is cute, funny, and non-destructive. Older children observe and glare at the total absolution given in advance for the very acts that were once their felonies.
I guessed a social worker was the baby of the family. "We bought you a copy of The Birth Order Book." She did not say, "No, you should not do that - don't spend money on me." She gave herself a hug and grinned, she was so pleased. Super sociable babies of the family are not driven straight A students, but they are so likeable that they do well in relationship type jobs, sales, and entertainment.
Marriage Birth Order - Plus Children
We marry a different birth-order, and we tend to support the child who belongs to our birth order.
Most pastors are first-born, so they see the world as a set of rules, as Adler wrote. Most pastors are pragmatists, a quality making them putty in the hands of sharpies like the Fuller Seminary snake-oil salesmen.
"Oh, you are from a conservative Bible denomination. The studies show that you will grow." [GJ - They collapsed after embracing Fuller nonsense, chiefly because they bedded with these little Antichrists of Calvinism.]
"Do not worry. All our methods are doctrinally neutral." [GJ - I thought they "worked best" with conservative groups!]
"This is how you overcome resistance. It is like slowly boiling a frog in a kettle." [GJ - Neither side was ever near a kettle, a stove, or a frog, but they sold books on this theme.]
"You must rekindle the cell groups from your Pietistic past." [GJ - I thought the methods were [doctrinally neutral."]
"You must get rid of your denomination's name, the liturgy, those old hymns, the pipe organ, the creeds, and those sermons." [GJ - I thought the methods were [doctrinally neutral."]
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| "Professor Brug and faculty, we love your work in promoting women's ordination, gender vague language, and our beloved NIV paraphrase of what the Holy Spirit would have said with a degree from Fuller." |
