Bethany Joan Marie Jackson, Erin Joy, and Christina Jackson,

 Bethany Joan Marie had the curly reddish hair.

 

Bethany Joan Marie loved her brother so much!

 Erin Joy was always filled with joy.

 

Yes, the Weather Is Too Cold Today

 

First the snow and cold came for sunny Minnesota. Next another wave swept across those areas without stopping to melt the snow - or even rest.

The Stoning of Stephen reminds me of the violence absorbed. Yet he gathered the greatest of all pain and blessing, apart from Jesus Christ.

KJV Acts 7:54  When they heard these things, they were cut to the heart, and they gnashed on him with their teeth.

55 But he, being full of the Holy Ghost, looked up stedfastly into heaven, and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing on the right hand of God,

56 And said, Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of man standing on the right hand of God.

57 Then they cried out with a loud voice, and stopped their ears, and ran upon him with one accord,

58 And cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down their clothes at a young man's feet, whose name was Saul.

59 And they stoned Stephen, calling upon God, and saying, Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.

GJ - Many times the worst comes upon us. At any given point someone will say or think - "Why is this so bad?" We stop to ask for help, and God reverses the problem and bad turns into good, even miraculously so. I especially enjoy praying for people when the worst appears and God turns the worst into the best for us, even when we are worried and burdened. Mindful of successes and Bible clear messages, I am happy to offer my prayers for myself and for many others.

    My biggest smiles come from my wife Christina, my daughter Bethany Joan Marie, and the baby Erin Joy. All three beam at me from two walls. Christina especially glows at Erin grinning at the camera. Doesn't every parent and grandparent enjoy that? Bethany was wearing her red Christmas dress on her fourth Christmas. Many loved the joy within them, and that continues.

I told Christina not to leave the bed during the service - because she had dangerous falls. She could not stop smiling and laughing at "disobeying."

I Keep Thinking about This Teen

I often get someone knocking on the door about insects, windows, and other sales items. The teen was in his late teens and talking about screens. I explained how I was a renter (aren't we all?) and not a good source.

On the way out from the porch he looked at three metallic photos of Christina, Erin Joy, and Bethany Joan Marie. He asked how they were made and who were they. I said, "My wife Christina died of cancer and our two daughters had a mysterious ailment."

He looked over each photo and began crying. He said, "You put their photos in the garden? What a wonderful way to honor them." 

Christina Elizabeth Jackson

52 Years of Marriage

"Build a Rose Garden. Grass is boring."

               

Erin Joy is portrayed as "a gift of heavenly joy," holding her teddy bear.

Bethany Joan Marie - "Nurses always called her Angel.

In her mother's arms again.

Erin Joy Stories

 I took this photo and printed it in my darkroom.

Someone asked me for a number of Erin Joy stories, so here they are.

Erin's neurological problem meant should could not make her muscles move, turn over, or grow stronger. She made the most of it.

If I told her not to lift up her leg, she concentrated a long time, even sweating, then lifted it up just to show me.

That is how we got her to hug her teddy bear for the Midland Daily News photographer. When we told her not to hug it - "You better not!" - she hugged it with a grin.

Erin loved to laugh when people were upset over trivia. She could not stop laughing when big messes happened. A quart of yogurt was dropped and it splashed all over. That was funny enough, but every telling of the story (and the nurse's bad words) made her laugh even more. 

Erin's room was across from the nurses' station, so the spilling of the large three-ring notebook with all its pages had two immediate reactions. One was the expletives from the nurse. The other was the hilarious laughter from Erin's room. That continued with every retelling of the story. Erin not only laughed even more but looked into our eyes to enjoy our laughter.

The nurses called her Joy because she smiled so much and were surprised "That really is  her middle name?"

We called her "Erin Where's the Party Jackson," because any special gathering delighted her. 

She loved hearing that her Mom was in trouble. "Bad Mom" was countered by "Bad Daddy" which ended with a chorus of "Bad Erin," making her laugh.

 We visited Larry Carlson, who had ALS, and we took Erin along. I took Erin to an ALS patient in the hospital. She began to pout because she was on the bed next to him but not in the conversation. I told him that she was sad and he said, "She has to learn she is not the only person in the world." I replied, "YOU tell her that!" She loved that.

Pouting easily turned into crying and seizures, so I did whatever I could to stop that. If she started to look sad, I said, "No pouty face. I won't look at it." If she started to cry, I would turn away and make a joke of it. She would force a smile out, her face red and tears dripping down from her eyes. It was very touching.

Christina turned scary hospital moments into fun. A scan machine was dubbed "going camping."  Once we got talking about the new PET scans, and safety concerning the powerful magnets used. Erin was due for one. I said, "That scanner will tear the strip right off your credit cards and pull your fillings out." Erin found that hysterically funny.

Erin's muscular control was very weak, but she could flex when she really wanted. I was reading the paper with her in my arms. She slowly used her fingernails into my flesh until I said, "Ow! You did that on purpose, Erin!" That made her laugh. She also swatted the paper from my hands - more laughter.

We took her to see the movie "Mr. Mom," where a husband stayed home while his wife worked at an office. One of those workers tried to make a pass with the mom, so she slugged him. Later, I asked Erin, "Did you like it when the Mom slugged the bad guy?" Erin swept her arm in a great, circular motion. "Erin! Did you do that on purpose?" She swung again. That was simply beyond all expectations, given her growing weakness and previous lack of coordination. 

One nurse said, "Erin, tell your parents what happened to little Johnny." Erin began to laugh. The nurse went on, "I was carrying him as best I could when I tripped. I fell down with him but we weren't hurt." That sent Erin into gales of laughter. If we had extra visitors, new to the story, just starting it got everyone laughing.

I prayed, before Erin was born, that she would not suffer from her sister's neurological disorder, but if she did, that I would be a good pastor and husband. 

Medical and ecclesiastical challenges were abundant, but there were many blessings along the way.

We offered a special emphasis on how bad Erin's diapers were. We had various statements to respond to the crisis of the moment. One new nurse did not know that when she began to change Erin's diaper. "OH Erin!" - with real disgust in her voice. Erin began laughing. The nurse said, "I cannot believe a child can be that ill and weak and start laughing like that."

Luther said, "You have as much laughter as you have faith," and our very special girls exemplified that faith.

Erin needed teeth removed because of her grinding them so much. We all cried. She smiled after crying to show she was OK.

 Christina loved our children; Bethany and Erin adored her loving patience. 

Some Photos

Bethany is just above the other photos, the Bulletin Board of Happiness below.

I wanted these photos where I could see them many times each day. Upper left is Bethany grinning for me, on the couch, Sturgis. In the middle - Christina and I graduated early from Augustana in 1969. Upper right - Erin Joy burst into a huge smile with her mom holding her. Lower left - Bethany is in the arms of Christina, about one year old. Lower middle - Erin Joy loved her swing. Lower right - I took this photo of Erin and developed it.

This is the beautiful book stand crafted in Spain, sent by Alec Satin, the Lutheran Librarian. The beautiful facsimile KJV Bible is on the right, donated by a couple in the congregation.

 The reluctant lilies began to bloom this year.

 Joe Pye Weed is slowly budding and the butterflies have arrived to check out their paradise.

Another Creation powerhouse - Mountain Mint was mistakenly covered over with cardboard and mulch, soon bursting through to develop its own pollinator paradise.

 If you like big hips, try Rugosa rose, known for its raggy leaves and big, bright seed pods (hips) full of Vitamin C, used in chewables.

 This may be a red-tailed hawk, perched on the main bird feeder. I wonder why. He always looks at me fiercely, suggesting "You're next."

 A leftover glad from last year bloomed perfectly and went to church on Sunday.

 The entire garden was filled with a ginger-like aroma, which changed into heavy perfume. This lily is enormous.

 Crepe Myrtle is planted for showy flowers and for Cardinal food later. They love to nest at their fast food condo. Robins also love this plant.

 Ranger Bob arranged this memorial. The orange flower is Butterfly Weed, related to Milkweed. Many of my favorites are in the weed family.

 Christina loved Caladiums, which some call Elephant Ears. Slugs also love them.

 Butterfly Weed blooms a long time and attracts a bright orange beetle.

Happy 40th Birthday, Erin Joy

Erin Joy loved this swing, so the staff was very ornery about letting her use it. First they blocked it up. When we asked that it be available again, as it was before, they filled the entire room with storage. Many people were mean or neglectful, but she got over each malignant action.

Erin's nickname was Joy, so nurses were always delighted discover it was also her baptismal name. When her four upper teeth had to be pulled from the nerves being exposed, she cried, the dental assistant hid in the closet and cried, and I cried. Erin was crying too, but she gave me a little smile to cheer me up.

She was as weak as any child could be and as smart. She listened and knew the implication of every word. We switched to Latin and she took that as a bad sign too. Because crying set off seizures, we did our best to encourage smiling and laughing. She laughed so easily at disasters and pranks that Midland nurses set up events to hear her laugh, such as "scaring a nurse" with a black rubber spider.

 Erin loved to smile and laugh, and she adored her mother. If I held Erin, she needed to be looking at Christina at the same time.

 Erin ate fitfully but grew like a weed. Her sister Bethany ate very well and stayed tiny. They were deeply loved by many and gave back even more.

Like all children, Erin never let go of a joke. Every funny event  could be repeated and enjoyed with her laughing about it.

Fake anger made her laugh, but actual rage made her shake with laughter. Once a nurse dropped a large, three-ringed notebook, and all the medical records slid out and scattered across the floor. The nurse shouted a bad word and Erin's laughter came out of her room. Erin loved to hear that story repeated. Try to scowl and complain when it makes a child laugh.

Erin was never precisely diagnosed, and the Cleveland Clinic threw away her records. She gave people so much happiness, without being able to turn over, crawl, walk, or speak. She never lacked in humor. When I held her and read the paper, she slowly dug her fingernails into my arm until it really hurt. "You did that on purpose!" She laughed. That required supreme concentration, but it was fun for her.

The Midland Daily News sent a photographer to take a picture of Erin at the hospital. The idea was to pose her holding her teddy bear. Nothing worked until we said, "Erin, don't you dare hold that bear." She grinned and pulled the bear tight.

Happy Birthday, Erin Joy Jackson

Erin loved her swing.
Having disabled children opens up a whole world
that many people ignore.

Today is Erin Joy's birthday. She would have been 35 today. Some people are allergic to the issue of grief. I find that odd when my friends and I are at the age where we have lost parents, spouse, relatives, best friends, or even children.

Expressing grief is therapeutic. Suppressing grief is not. America has this attitude of "three days and back to normal." My experience is that one year is the bare minimum for the loss of someone close.

Anniversaries and birthdays are very important. The sense of loss never goes away but the Christian Faith transforms the pain slowly into pleasant memories. My wife was throwing sheets into the closet, having them fall down, and yelling. We laughed because Erin Joy loved to have things fall, splatter, and make people mad. Once a large jug of yogurt fell to the floor and splashed up all over the nurse. Erin laughed at the nurse covered with yogurt. The nurses all laughed with Erin and the nurse. And they told us and we laughed all over again.

We have a cluster of three birthdays,
Chris, Erin Joy, and Bethany,
July 20 to August 2.

To get Erin to post with the teddy, we had to say,
"Don't you dare hug that teddy bear!'
She grinned and held on - she loved that game.
That works on little children, "Don't smile."
One pouting boy grinned and said, "I smile."