Sword of Margarine Award - Will Supplant the Faux-Sabre of Boldness

 The Sword of Margarine

The Sabre of Boldness award committee has informed me that they are tired of giving their phony prize when nobody in Lutherdom deserves it. In fact, they are so timid that they took several years to gather the gumption to tell me.

Therefore, I have honored their request and their sincere well-earned modesty. I have covertly assembled a group of savvy judges - highly trained in Biblical doctrine and abnormal psychology - to give the new prize - The Sword of Margarine.

Nominees

1. Christian News - Suggested for their adroit selling to both sides of the issue:

• Church Growth and Lutheran doctrine, 
• Walter Maier and Rolf Preus, 
• Roman Catholic hatred of Luther and Luther trinkets, 
• Walther idols and Bibles.

2. Steadfast Lutherans - Brought up because -

• They got huffy about DP-sponsored sex abuse but erased the evidence about the abuse.
• They featured one spaghetti-spine who criticized Paul the Plagiarist McCain and then offered to pay for a statue in his honor. The committee favors idolaters for this honor.
• They started as a Matt the Fatt toadies; they no longer had a candidate this year.

3. Intrepid Lutherans - Almost Winners -

• Mirthless Mark Schroeder had his classmate Steve Spencer start a group to support him against "the other side." 
• The group did an excellent job of fussing about issues but were utterly silent at synodical meetings when it mattered. Well played!
• The Intrepid founder, Steve Spencer, bailed out first - due to trepidation - followed by the rest of them.
• The committee decided it would be difficult to find someone still identified as Intrepid or Lutheran, so they had to pass on this group.

The Winner!

The contenders were highly qualified - no doubt. Margarine perfectly represents them - a substance created by chemistry to be a cheap, unhealthy substitute for butter. And yet margarine was marketed as healthy while butter was panned as unhealthy.

LutherQuest - aka SpenerQuest - aka LutherQueasies - 

aka LutherQuislings

After considering their vast effort to mock Luther and his doctrine, barely ever mentioning him, except to exploit his name - LQ had to be top contender.

Significant Achievements:

1. They slavishly reproduced Paul McCain's plagiarism of The Catholic Encyclopedia, and never rebuked him. 
2. They let someone engage in anonymous slander until they realized it could be costly to the websty owner.
3. Like the other supposedly "fierce and faithful" groups, they barely mentioned the appalling Mark Jeske Change or Die! pro-abortion gay ordination conference.
4. They present CFW Walther, BA, as a great theologian with all the answers and refuse to address the Scriptures teaching Justification by Faith. 
5. Best of all, they engage in endless trivia, like ALPB.org's forum, so that no one wakes up from the apostasy around them.

 This did not happen by accident. The Objective Justification salesmen took over from about 1932, "improving" by substitution.