Pope Kovaciny Endorses Ridicule of the King James Version - KJV Printing Flourishes

 

His Holiness, Pope Kovaciny, Archbishop of Chernobyl, Vicar General of Holy Russia, Protonotary of ELS-WELS, Calvinist News Reporter.

Nothing promotes a reaction faster than an incoherent diatribe from Jay Webber's right-hand man. KJV sales have doubled since the latest copy of Calvinist News appeared on the Internet. CN tabloid circulation has tripled to 10 households, that is, if some octogenarian pastors are still alive.

The road crews are dressing the utility poles with crash padding, just to be safe.

If I could explain the jeremiad, I would. Instead, I will note a few factual items that continue to rattle the detox centers of WELS-ELS-CN.

• The KJV is the only ecumenical Bible in English, one which is not changed, demeaned, and increasingly amplified, as though living but dead. The King James remains the Bible for all denominations, not the favorite pet for a given audience.
• The Old and New Testament texts (Hebrew and Greek) were carefully preserved, as God promised, and not based on the fake Sinaiticus and laughable Vaticanus codices (favorites of NIV-land). As most know, the Hebrew OT was copied with exquisite care, a concern entirely lacking among today's hip text critics.
• The KJV has a smaller vocabulary than the apostate paraphrases, because Tyndale and the KJV editors sought the truth, not cuteness, profits, and accolades.
• The KJV team was comprised of 50 men at the peak of the English language, yet they produced a miraculously unified and edited Bible.
• King Henry VIII had Tyndale burned at the stake for translating the Bible into English. Now the synods and denominations are murdering the Bible, turning the Word into their propaganda, making some money to pay off lawsuits.
• The Beck Bible, which the Otten Family owns, is a joke, with all the anti-Scripture footnotes of the Evil Four - NIV, ESV, RSV, NRSV. Future historians will note that Calvinist News has always promoted the very scandals it has pretended to attack: 

1. drunk, divorced, and adulterous pastors/professors, 
2. Church Growth turpitude,
3. Calvinism, Pentecostalism, and Roman dogma,
4. Biblical errancy.
5. Apologizing to WELS for the truth being told about the FBI raid at the Love Shack.