The Haunting of the Big Five - ELCA-LCMS-WELS-ELS-CLC (sic)

 

Also ELCA-ELS-CLC (sic)

The Photoshop above is not the Sistine Chapel ceiling, but it does convey the Big Five's love for every single expression of faith... except their own. See if you can find these notorious apostates, starting with Archbishop Weakland, who was invited to give a public speech (with some of his priests helping) at Wisconsin Lutheran College. WELS managers (they have no leaders) ran around saying it never happened, that it was private, etc. Yes, they are too dumb to lie effectively.

 Andy Stanley is truly a man of all faiths, like Ski, loving every faith except his own.

On Weakland's left is that lovable son of Charles Stanley, Andy Stanley, addicted to huge numbers of ministers and managers paying him enormous sums to learn how he does it. One savvy Lutheran pastor pointed out how mega-church rallies like Andy's are a sure sign of decay.

Directly above Andy Stanley is Bill Hybels with former President Bill Clinton, both womanizers who got away with it for decades. But wait, Bill got tossed out on his ear, leaving the Big Five bereft of his magic at Willow Creek Community Church. Team Jackson visited his cross-free church, listened to his empty message, and ate at his overpriced food court. It is not hyperbole to mention that WELS salivated whenever they brought up the glory of Willow Creek, sending pastors there to learn the effective incantations of a snake-oil salesman. WELS paid the tuition for their underlings to savor the sin of worshiping with Hybels. That reminds me of Herman Melville's allegory, noting that Jonah was anxious to leave town on a fast ship. "But he swiftly calls away the Captain from that scent. ‘I’ll sail with ye,’—he says,—‘the passage money how much is that?—I’ll pay now.’ For it is particularly written, shipmates, as if it were a thing not to be overlooked in this history, ‘that he paid the fare thereof’ ere the craft did sail. And taken with the context, this is full of meaning." 

Nothing is quite as tragic or comical as Lawrence Otto Olson (WELS) denying that he ever went to Fuller Seminary. He actually visited the Godfather of Church Growth, Donald McGavran. This Lawrence of the Doctrinal Dessert pedaled his bike uphill to get there. McGavran's book is like the novel Dorothy Parker detested. "This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force." Dr. Olson has been the tip of the spear for WELS' Church Growth, anointed to leave his non-growing congregation (Love Park) to watch his little college and withering synod fade away.

Leonard Sweet was one of the strangest celebrities for all denominations.

 One pastor was openly and deeply offended that I pointed out his website's love for Sweet. 

 Groeschel put together a growth factory - not that it worked - enchanting more than one Lutheran to sign up for his sermons and trinkets.

No one says it better than C. Peter Wagner. He has been all over the spectrum, mostly in the Pentecostal spooky realm. Christina and I went to the library at Luther Seminary, where she dug up the Christianity Today magazine with the revealing quote, above. She also found the article that Cho (biggest church in the world, S. Korea) was kicked out of the Assemblies of God. "Where did you get that?" Christianity Today asked. I said, "From your magazine."

The Big Five Sects have prostrated themselves before Church Growth experts, many more than the ones I have noted above. They are not victims but the cause of the destruction. See below.

"Whee! DMins are on sale at Fuller Seminary. Let's get ours so we can be called Dr. for very little time served and lots of money spent!"