When Will the Leaders Show the Fruits of Contrition? - Instead of Robbing Widows and Orphans? The Ten Commandments of Destruction

 These guys are harder to get rid of than crab grass, but just as effective in producing more weed growth. As Ninotchka might have said in the Greta Garbo comedy, "We will have fewer, but better Lutherans."

Some evil genius - maybe a secretive group -  must have written a list on how to destroy the Lutheran sects in America. They have followed the same directives no matter which parasites occupied the positions in higher education or the church bureaucracy.

 A genius? Or just evil?

1. Abandon the English version of Luther's Bible - the KJV - in favor of lame paraphrases. This is done "for the children" of course.
2. Take the KJV off the list of options, so people select the NIV, the ESV, or the Surfer Dude Living Bible. This is borrowed from the clever nurses who ask patients, "Do you want your enema before or after lunch?" No one seems to answer, "Neither!" to the translation option.
3. Abandon the traditional text, or better yet, make noise about the text while promoting the NIV, ESV, and Anything Goes versions. If everyone is a happy idiot about the text, no one knows what is being stolen or why.
4. Move away from the concept of Lutheran worship based on the Biblical Means of Grace.
5. Earnestly seek approaches on Sunday that make the indifferent somewhat pleased, as long as the faithful are gradually weaned away from anything worthwhile. This is done "for the lost, for evangelism, for the health of Holy Mother Synod."
6. Study and use sociology, the path to fame and glory for Donald McGavran, Idiot-in-Chief of the Church Growth Movement.  There is a social cause for every good or bad thing, but mostly for the bad, so nothing can be done except explore more movements in society. "The Masons are losing members too!" - Paul Kelm. "Missouri is losing members twice as fast as we are!" - Mirthless Mark Schroeder.
7. Never even hint that the only effective tool or instrument in the Christian Church is the Word of God. That efficacy concept creates conflict when brain-dead obedience is required.
8. Create a meaningless and easy degree, dubbing it a doctorate, since the seminaries are failing and the incompetent need jobs. Professors need to be paid for doing almost nothing. That brings in the dollars without requiring Hebrew, Greek, Latin, and German.
9. The Doctor of Ministry degree should be expensive, easy, and completed with a fake dissertation. Everyone with a DMin should be addressed as "Doctor," and promoted as a professor or as an expert in shrinking growing the Church.
10. Nurture a herd of Judas Goats to lead dissenters up the ramp to the rendering works. Knowing the calls are few and the bills are great, the rest will be sad for a moment and gladly move up another notch.

"First we find out who told Ichabod, then..."

"Adultery? Absolving the unrepentant millionaire?
Makes sense, dollars and cents."