I was doing research on secret Mormon rituals when I was struck by the number of parallels with the Wisconsin Synod. I have known and worked with Mormons and taught Mormons in world religion classes. All three Ichabods enjoy a lasting friendship long ago with our Mormon next-door neighbors. We specifically stopped to look them up in Sturgis. Mormons are often very nice people. So are WELS members.
I suggest Googling "secret Mormon rituals" to learn more about the Latter Day Saints, especially since Mitt Romney is running for the GOP nomination for president.
Not much will show up about secret WELS rituals. Here are some interesting parallels between Mormon and WELS attitudes:
1. Holy Mother Church is perfect, so no criticism is allowed.
2. Just as there are TBMs (True Believing Mormons), so there are TBWs (True Blue WELS) members. One signed herself WELS_Of_Pure_Doctrine on a blog! I can imagine her singing a church solo with a Sarah Brightman hyper-emotional grin.
3. The obvious gap between perfection and reality leads to a lot of posturing, denial, deceit, and emotional turmoil.
4. In either group, finding out the truth is emotionally devastating to the true believers. Ex-members take years to recover.
5. Both groups have secret, sexually provocative rituals. Initiates are not told the truth beforehand. Mormons had "naked touching" (banned in 2005). WELS had GA, where the entire first-year seminary class stripped naked outside after the dip the sewage pond. The pond is gone and GA is now underground. But no, it is really closed down, a TBW says. I am almost persuaded.
6. Both groups take pride in their peculiar doctrines and traditions. WELS clergy are always saying, "In our circles, this means..." That really means, "We are only ones promoting this weird idea." One was having vicars consecrate Holy Communion. Another was ordaining male teachers (for tax reasons and because they wanted it).
7. TBWs may not have special underwear, but they are acutely conscious of the need to conform, just like Mormons.
8. Both groups change doctrine whenever it suits them, because both want desperately to be mainstream.
9. Power play manipulation is the norm in both groups, not the exception.
10. No one has ever been murdered by Mormon leaders or by WELS church workers. No one has ever been sexually abused by the clergy of either group. Just ask. They will deny it.
