What is something you feel like you cannot say at church, or with other Christians?
I am a pastor's wife and these are a few things I really want to say, but can't right now:
TO MY CHURCH: Why do you all gossip about my husband and I? How can you possibly expect me to act normal when your gossip infects everything and makes me feel like whatever I say or do is up for scrutiny? The really fascinating part is that I’m still not sure what the gossip about is all entails. No one has ever fully told me outside that I’m not very friendly. For my husband, you are upset because he doesn't attend every town gathering and other superflous issues non-related to the call you gave him.
I want to say that I really did try in the beginning. I did so well in my husband’s first call. He had 2 rural churches and I knew everyone. I used to be an extrovert, now I flee this small town every chance I get because I’m surrounded by church members who watch my every move.
Oh and why is it that for the church & town’s 125th anniversary there an overabundance of volunteers—but when it comes to anything to do with the spiritual welfare of the church—there is NO ONE!! I just don’t get it and I pray I never do. I don’t want to be like any of you—I learned that much from you.
TO THE FORMER PRINCIPAL OF OUR SCHOOL: Why did you treat us like you did? Why did you gossip about us and make up complete fabricated stories? What did we ever do to you? We honestly moved here to this call with the highest of hopes. We really wanted to be close to you and your family. We wanted to support you, but we just weren't "cool" enough or something.
Oh and it was lovely when you moved and left us in the mess you made. I live everyday with the gossip you started. I live with the spiritual damage.
Of course, you are doing fine. You lasted 2 years in the call you took from here. Then you had issues with your mouth and your buddy the DP gave you a new call. You make mess after mess and they just move you. It must be nice to be married to the right woman and have the right friends in the WELS.
TO OUR DISTRICT PRESIDENT: I thought that we could trust you. I really did. I did not know at the time that you were friends with the principal--card buddies and best friends with his father-in-law.
We went to you in good faith. We needed the Gospel--encouragement, but all you gave us was the Law. You didn't want to hear what we had to say, after all the good principal had already filled you in on who we were. You listened to his gossip, refuse to repent and now I am a spiritual mess.
I tried to go to you after the fact per Matthew 18, but you ignored me with the exception of a short dismissive e-mail telling me I had to learn to appreciate where God had called us. You then again denied you listened to gossip as well as dropped the bomb that you had received other calls from “church members” similar to the principal's about me (which "duh" who did you think was spreading the gossip and getting people upset?).
When I asked who these people where and *what* the accusations where (as I wasn't sure)--you refused to address me again.
But I ask you--if you decided who I was and who my husband was not from our own words--but from the words of the principal--is that not gossip? *AND* if you cannot grasp the simple concept of what gossip is, what other doctrines are you off on? One really has to wonder.
Oh and thanks for telling me how you honor the call process. You told us that you don’t let anyone into your District w/out either knowing them or getting a good recommendation. I am guessing our former DP gave us the good recommendation as you didn’t know us. It is good to see you put your faith in God’s will versus your own human efforts—oh, wait—that is how it is *supposed* to be. Silly me.
I will forgive you one day, but it is hard to do it right now as you invade our e-mail regularly with your updates and District news. It’s always clear in these e-mails who like and who you don’t care for…this wound has never been allowed to heal…I know one day it will.
30/5/08 5:04 PM
OK. The pastor's wife wins. Ouch.
Why is it that some of the worst treatment of our ministers and their families comes from the Christians they serve? It's supposed to be the governments and individuals who are enemies of the gospel, not fellow Christians, who make ministry so difficult.
I guess it saves the devil work when we persecute our own.
31/5/08 9:48 PM
GJ - The posts above were published on Random Intolerance as a comment for the May 25th article. The District Pope is already getting even by now, I am sure.
We ran into the parents of a former WELS pastor. He was driven out of the ministry by similar tactics. They thought WELS was cult-like. The Wisconsin Synod is run for the benefit of a few families. The DPs have their buddies and undercut everyone else. An adulterous buddy who should not be in the ministry is promoted, but someone who mildly criticizes Holy Mother WELS is pounded like a tent stake.
GJ Postscript - This is just a hint at the abuse laid upon WELS, LCMS, and ELS church workers. The leaders despise the Word and the Means of Grace, so they despise those who bring the Word.
Congregations will always have those who hate the pastor or his wife or his children because they hate the Word. A mouse may be in a cookie jar without being a cookie, as Corrie Ten Boom said. The Age of Apostasy is upon us when the sanctified and sanctifying little popes do everything possible to destroy the lives of those who plunged into debt to become pastors.
Do not weep for adulterous pastors. They get promoted to mission supervisors. The wolves in charge call it professional courtesy.