Monday, October 20, 2008

Giant Hissing Cockroaches



A WELS layman offered up this heart-warming image: a hissing cockroach. The one above is the giant variety from Madagascar.


Dr. Jackson,

It sounds like the latest WELS misadventures are really flushing out the cockroaches. If it isn't Kelm's stealth call to Parish Assistance, then it is the 2009 offering of Ed Stetzer at the C&C conference. I have been trying to keep up with it all, but I am getting a bit dizzy in the process. Tim Felt-Needs is really carrying a lot of water over at Bailing Water. His solutions posted are the typical law-based sleight of hand aimed at the laity and designed to take our focus from the synodical shenanigans. All of this reminds me of what happens when you fumigate a cockroach infested dwelling - they come out of the woodwork and scurry about. I wish that I could think of a better analogy. It just seems so fitting.

In Christ,
Randall Schultz

***

GJ - They are running around and hissing a lot, too. On the surface they act like the cat who found the bowl of cream. In reality, they are running around hissing because doom has come upon them. Their beloved Internet has foiled them. The more they brag, the more everyone knows about their pusilanimous behavior. That is why I provide links at every possible opportunity. And alas! They have software that tracks when they are linked, so the rise up in alarm and hiss even more.

Crown of Glory, Corona, California was Sweet on Leonard, but gushing red ink. They posted their disastrous offering reports. I mentioned that. Hiss! Hiss!

A district president wrote about the Stetzer Church and Change invitation. I tracked it down to the Stetzer website since Church and Change was lying - again. Hiss! Hiss! "You are worse than Jackson." Hiss. "8th Commandment." Hiss. Stetzer is lying. Hiss. The conference is canceled. Hiss. But that is the hiss-terical reaction of liars who want to bowl over someone telling the truth.

The aptly named Moose Report complained bitterly about Sweet not being welcomed in WELS. I quoted those publicly published words. Hiss. Hiss.

There are only a few WELS stealth congregations. Nothing to see. Move on. Hiss. Hiss. But now one of their own brags about all the Church and Change congregations. The list grows daily. Someone should quiet Tim Felt-Needs down. He is way too honest, glib, and smug about Church and Change.

There are too many quotations from orthodox Lutherans on Ichabod. The quotations make the cockroaches hiss.

I invent up the comments, even pretending to be a layman suffering from the predations of WELS pastors. Hiss. Believe me, I barely have time to copy and paste the latest felonies from WELS.

There is not as much adultery among the WELS church workers as I seem to think. Hiss. But look at the public examples, from Rev. Family Values marrying his secretary to the various lawsuits filed and arrests made. I always thought that Christian life resources would exclude adultery, but I am legalistic.

They used to hiss that no one ever, ever went to Fuller Seminary - not even the ones who bragged about going there. Not even the ones listed in a mailing from Fuller - all the WELS clergy who went to Fuller. Now they have trouble hissing out an explanation about where all this Church Growth garbage came from. Valleskey became president of The Sausage Factory while promoting CG. His only book is a double back-flip in favor of every silly Church Growth gimmick from Fuller. But he did not go to Fuller. He bragged to David Koenig of the CLC about going to Fuller, so Koenig hissed to me that I should not have told everyone. Did Valleskey hiss at him for telling? Giant hissing cockroaches probably hiss just for the fun of it.

Did the fainting lagomorphs of the COP stomp their paws about Stetzer? They expressed concern.

I believe Randall Schultz is right. Church and Change is on its way out. Everyone is sick of them. They are like disco music, without the melody. Just the thump, thump, thumping of disco, very tiresome and dated.

Time to bug out - Church and Change.

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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name III: Church ...":

If Sweet and Stetzer are inter-twined, then surely so are the WELS pastors who felt the need to attend the pan-enthusiam conference. If this is common knowledge, please tell me what kind of church disapline (sic) was dealt out to those wayward pastors? Is there a list of those pastors that could be made public so as to make their congregations aware of how they spend their "free time" ?

***

GJ - You have slandered Holy Mother WELS, just by asking that question. The names of the pastors involved can be obtained from Bailing Water. At least Mr. Water knows which ones to ask. They were described as heavy hitters, so I imagine they are quite well known in WELS.

Discipline was immediate and severe. They were allowed to invite Stetzer to be their next Church and Change speaker. If the mountain (Sweet) cannot come to Mohammed (WELS conference), then Mohammed can come to the mountain. And get this - if that discipline was not severe enough already - the COP frowned. Yes, they expressed concern. That is worse than waterboarding. Worse than hearing the favorite songs of Amy Winehouse. Worse than watching Time of Grace every Sunday.

The laity will have to act. The WELS clergy will not.