Giant Hissing Cockroaches

A WELS layman offered up this heart-warming image: a hissing cockroach. The one above is the giant variety from Madagascar.

Dr. Jackson,

It sounds like the latest WELS misadventures are really flushing out the cockroaches. If it isn't Kelm's stealth call to Parish Assistance, then it is the 2009 offering of Ed Stetzer at the C&C conference. I have been trying to keep up with it all, but I am getting a bit dizzy in the process. Tim Felt-Needs is really carrying a lot of water over at Bailing Water. His solutions posted are the typical law-based sleight of hand aimed at the laity and designed to take our focus from the synodical shenanigans. All of this reminds me of what happens when you fumigate a cockroach infested dwelling - they come out of the woodwork and scurry about. I wish that I could think of a better analogy. It just seems so fitting.

In Christ,
Randall Schultz

***

GJ - They are running around and hissing a lot, too. On the surface they act like the cat who found the bowl of cream. In reality, they are running around hissing because doom has come upon them. Their beloved Internet has foiled them. The more they brag, the more everyone knows about their pusilanimous behavior. That is why I provide links at every possible opportunity. And alas! They have software that tracks when they are linked, so the rise up in alarm and hiss even more.

Crown of Glory, Corona, California was Sweet on Leonard, but gushing red ink. They posted their disastrous offering reports. I mentioned that. Hiss! Hiss!

A district president wrote about the Stetzer Church and Change invitation. I tracked it down to the Stetzer website since Church and Change was lying - again. Hiss! Hiss! "You are worse than Jackson." Hiss. "8th Commandment." Hiss. Stetzer is lying. Hiss. The conference is canceled. Hiss. But that is the hiss-terical reaction of liars who want to bowl over someone telling the truth.

The aptly named Moose Report complained bitterly about Sweet not being welcomed in WELS. I quoted those publicly published words. Hiss. Hiss.

There are only a few WELS stealth congregations. Nothing to see. Move on. Hiss. Hiss. But now one of their own brags about all the Church and Change congregations. The list grows daily. Someone should quiet Tim Felt-Needs down. He is way too honest, glib, and smug about Church and Change.

There are too many quotations from orthodox Lutherans on Ichabod. The quotations make the cockroaches hiss.

I invent up the comments, even pretending to be a layman suffering from the predations of WELS pastors. Hiss. Believe me, I barely have time to copy and paste the latest felonies from WELS.

There is not as much adultery among the WELS church workers as I seem to think. Hiss. But look at the public examples, from Rev. Family Values marrying his secretary to the various lawsuits filed and arrests made. I always thought that Christian life resources would exclude adultery, but I am legalistic.

They used to hiss that no one ever, ever went to Fuller Seminary - not even the ones who bragged about going there. Not even the ones listed in a mailing from Fuller - all the WELS clergy who went to Fuller. Now they have trouble hissing out an explanation about where all this Church Growth garbage came from. Valleskey became president of The Sausage Factory while promoting CG. His only book is a double back-flip in favor of every silly Church Growth gimmick from Fuller. But he did not go to Fuller. He bragged to David Koenig of the CLC about going to Fuller, so Koenig hissed to me that I should not have told everyone. Did Valleskey hiss at him for telling? Giant hissing cockroaches probably hiss just for the fun of it.

Did the fainting lagomorphs of the COP stomp their paws about Stetzer? They expressed concern.

I believe Randall Schultz is right. Church and Change is on its way out. Everyone is sick of them. They are like disco music, without the melody. Just the thump, thump, thumping of disco, very tiresome and dated.

Time to bug out - Church and Change.

---

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name III: Church ...":

If Sweet and Stetzer are inter-twined, then surely so are the WELS pastors who felt the need to attend the pan-enthusiam conference. If this is common knowledge, please tell me what kind of church disapline (sic) was dealt out to those wayward pastors? Is there a list of those pastors that could be made public so as to make their congregations aware of how they spend their "free time" ?

***

GJ - You have slandered Holy Mother WELS, just by asking that question. The names of the pastors involved can be obtained from Bailing Water. At least Mr. Water knows which ones to ask. They were described as heavy hitters, so I imagine they are quite well known in WELS.

Discipline was immediate and severe. They were allowed to invite Stetzer to be their next Church and Change speaker. If the mountain (Sweet) cannot come to Mohammed (WELS conference), then Mohammed can come to the mountain. And get this - if that discipline was not severe enough already - the COP frowned. Yes, they expressed concern. That is worse than waterboarding. Worse than hearing the favorite songs of Amy Winehouse. Worse than watching Time of Grace every Sunday.

The laity will have to act. The WELS clergy will not.

If Becker Is Elated, Then Why Did He Hide the Call from the Synod President?

Insurbordination can be fun, but German Lutherans still remember what Unordnung means.

This is direct from the official WELS email list, so do not accuse me of making up this treacle:

New Parish Assistance consultant

Filed Under: Parish Assistance

For the first time since August 2006, WELS Parish Assistance—which offers fee-based consulting services to help congregations analyze and improve their ministries—has three full-time consultants. Rev. Paul Kelm, who previously served as a Parish Assistance consultant from January 1998 to August 2004, accepted a call Oct. 14 to be the third consultant, a position that had been vacant for more than two years.

"We are just elated," says Rev. Bruce Becker, administrator for WELS Parish Services, the board that oversees the Parish Assistance program. "We will now be in a position to start accepting the requests for services from the congregations that have been waiting."

Becker says he's looking forward to working again with Kelm, who will be starting his consulting duties Nov. 1. "Paul has always been a fantastic consultant," says Becker. "He's also just come out of four years of parish ministry, which brought him back up to the realities of life in the parish—and that will only enhance his ability to serve as a consultant."

In addition to his previous experience as a Parish Assistance consultant, Kelm has also served as pastor at St. Mark, De Pere/Green Bay, Wis., and Faith, Pittsfield, Mass.; campus pastor, professor, and dean of students at Wisconsin Lutheran College, Milwaukee; administrator of WELS' Commissions on Evangelism and Adult Discipleship; project director of Spiritual Renewal, Milwaukee; campus pastor at Wisconsin Lutheran Chapel, Madison; and tutor at the former Dr. Martin Luther College, New Ulm, Minn. [GJ - He also started an ELCA congregation.]

"This call is something that I think matches my gifts and my personality," says Kelm. "And my years here at St. Mark, in a large parish, have helped to shape some of the ways in which I can help congregations as well. I did enjoy [serving as a consultant] and expect to again."

For more information about WELS Parish Assistance, visit www.wels.net/pa

***

KJV 1 Corinthians 14:40 Let all things be done decently and in order.

KJV 2 Thessalonians 3:6 Now we command you, brethren, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that ye withdraw yourselves from every brother that walketh disorderly, and not after the tradition which he received of us.

KJV Hebrews 13:17 Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you.

GJ - One certain sign of people who despise the Word is their disorderly behavior.

Church and Change Tactics

Would I lie to you, baby?

The WELS Conference of District Presidents has already discussed the Church and Change shindig with Baptist Ed Stetzer as the main speaker.

Now the Church and Change supporters are screaming that it is a violation of the 8th Commandment to say there is a conference with Ed Stetzer. Maybe it was canceled. Oh sure - that is why the COP discussed the conference as a future reality.

Church and Change is a bit too coy for me. Too clever by half, as they say.

They are lying by not announcing Stetzer on the website. Stetzer is telling the truth by bragging about his WELS gig, which specifically says WELS Church and Change. Funny, his link is back to the main WELS.net site, so perhaps he or they want to imply official approval.

Ichabodians may recall that when I quoted Kelm's endorsement of a Kent Hunter conference, Frosty Bivens (The Sausage Factory) immediately rose to accuse me of violating the 8th Commandment. I produced the actual copy, ipsissima verba from Paul Kelm, and Frosty said, "How do we know he gave permission...? etc. etc." Later I asked The Church Doctor himself. Hunter said he asked for a written endorsement from Kelm and got it. So the only violator was Frosty Bivens himself, falsely accusing me to defend his Church Growth buddy Paul Kelm. I later learned that Bivens was another student of Fuller Seminary, like Larry Olson, David Valleskey, James Huebner, Reuel Schulz, Wally Oelhaven, Fred Adrian, and many others. Yet Bivens denied he ever went there, just as Valleskey did. So both of them falsely accused me of lying about them when I spoke the truth.

Anyone who expects common decency from the Church and Change bunch is delusional. They have deceived their way into power and they are not going to change their habits now.

As anyone can see, Church and Change deceived the leadership about the Kelm call and the Stetzer conference. Their added deception is to suggest there is no Stetzer conference.

I am thoroughly enjoying this because plenty of people are leaking information to me.

Posts from Church and Change Obi-Wans, robots, and Useful Idiots (with money) are always welcome here.

---

From Bailing Water:

John said...
I want to ask how an anonymous commenter can scream 8th commandment at me.

How did I break the 8th commandment? All I did was post that Ed Stetzer was speaking at the next C & C conference. I also mentioned that several WELS pastors sat at his feet back in April. How is this breaking the 8th commandment? You drew the conclusions.

Now you tell me. Is it a sin for Stetzer to present at the C&C conference (as long as he doesn't lead a prayer?) Does one principle over-ride another?

October 20, 2008 5:52 PM


Anonymous said...
My question is: Why would WELS members (clergy & laity) WANT to have Ed Stetzer as a keynote speaker?

Another question I have is: Why do the congregations that choose to not use Lutheran in their names WANT to be part of WELS?

October 20, 2008 6:10 PM


Tim Niedfeldt [Felt Needs] said...
No it is not a sin for Stetzer to present(not even if he says a prayer..just if the attendees participate in it).

No it is not a sin to point it out if you don't like it.

No there is no 8th commandment thing being broken in this instance.

and finally although I appreciate knowing someone is out there who might support something i say, I will not go so far as to say that there is 8th commandment breaking going on (and its fair to say I've taken a word or two of criticism). Sometimes there are strong words, fervent words, sarcastic words..all said out of zeal and maybe frustration at times. I think this is all in the realm of acceptability in a public forum. Now I can name a few places on the internet where the 8th commandment hardly exists.

I think that whole 8th commandment thing is thrown around too much...as if disagreement or presentaion of a topic is putting someone else down. Its the same as those who throw out the "I'm offended" trump card in church meetings..honestly have we truly forgotten how to be men?

maybe if we as a society had not created a few generations of sissys (my generation being one of the worst) we could talk, debate, argue, criticize, and chastise freely without crying 8th commandment foul

If you can't stand the CPU heat get out of the blogosphere.


Tim

WELS Conference of Presidents Know All about Stetzer

For a large fee I will speak to your WELS sheep.

"The next Church and Change Conference will be having Ed Stetzer, a person not of our fellowship, be one of its speakers. He is part of the "missional" movement. The members of the COP in looking at his theology and aggressive style of presentation have some serious reservations about his appearance at this conference and have asked President Schroeder to express our concerns to the leaders of Church and Change."

NW DP Englebrecht

***

GJ - The quotation above was sent to the pastors in that district, so it is public knowledge.

The Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name III: Church and Change Conference 2009

Church and Change board member Bruce Becker is also the Administrator for Parish Services. He issued a stealth call to Paul Kelm, without telling the Synod President. Now there is a stealth conference.


What happened to the Means of Grace?


As of October 20th, Church and Change Has Not Announced Their Speaker, Baptist Ed Stetzer

The Assemblies of God loved him! Why shouldn't WELS?

Church and Change booked Ed Stetzer for their next conference, apparently after a bunch of WELS pastors went to a pan-Enthusiasm conference.

WELS Church and Change must have paid him a substantial fee in advance, or they would not be on his list of speaking engagements.

However, an extensive search of the Church and Change site reveals no conference planned for 2009, no mention of Stetzer, no inkling of the joy they found at the pan-Enthusiasm conference.

Stetzer will be with New Age Methodist Leonard Sweet right after his WELS gig. Readers may recall that Church and Change booked Leonard Sweet, but that blew up in their faces. Stetzer's appearance at a Sweet event shows how these frauds are inter-twined.

Stetzer links back to WELS.net, not to Churchandchange.ugh.

WELS Belles - Girly Men Who Cannot Admit They Are Lutheran

I too skeered to say I am Lutheran.

Some people at Bailing Water have provided names of WELS congregations where the confession is hidden. I will add this list to my previous one. Some are repeats, but some are new:

Church and Change Congregations from Tim Felt-Needs:

St. Mark's Depere
St. Marcus, Milwaukee
Crosswalk, Laveen, AZ
Crossroads, Chicago
Christ the Rock, Round Rock, TX
Sure Foundation, Brooklyn, NY
Victory of the Lamb, Franklin, WI
Hope Lutheran, Oconomowoc, WI
Solid Rock Ministries, Appleton, WI
Christ the Rock - Round Rock, Texas
http://www.ctrtx.net/
Point of Grace, Milwaukee (copy and paste veteran from DePere)
Also, a newly forming Solid Rock Ministries - south of St Mark De Pere - Pastor Jim Skorzewski

This Doufus ELCA Congregation...No - Wait. WELS!?

Let's adulterate the Word with...coffee

Welcome

Sometimes, just the thought of church is painful—words repeated without meaning, everyone acting like their lives are perfect, feeling judged, or just being bored. What if there were a place you could worship and ask questions without feeling like you had to hide your real self?

That place is here, at St. Andrew - Waunakee. You don't have to hide anything here because God already knows you. He knows that you have problems, inside and out, and He offers you free of any cost the solution to those problems: His Son Jesus. Do you know where your problems come from? Do you know what Jesus did to take care of them? God wants you to know that. He wants you to know HIM.

At St. Andrew – Waunakee, we gather on Sunday mornings to connect with God and with each other. It’s come as you are, because God doesn’t care what you’re wearing or whether you need just a little more caffeine.

Worship Sundays at 10:30 AM

Casual About Church, Serious About God
St. Andrew - Waunakee
5757 Emerald Grove Lane
Waunakee, WI 53597
Phone: (608) 831-8540
Contact Via Email

The sponsoring church admits to being WELS on its home page. The pastor has an M.T. degree from the Sausage Factory. That seems appropriate - M.T. - no such degree, but certainly empty.

---

Trading Markets.com

No need to dress up for some Wisconsin churches

Sun. October 19, 2008; Posted: 02:49 AM

Do you want to trade professionally? Click here.

WAUNAKEE, Oct 19, 2008 (The Wisconsin State Journal - McClatchy-Tribune Information Services via COMTEX) -- BKS | Quote | Chart | News | PowerRating --

A couple of months ago, St. Andrew Lutheran Church wanted to do something different to attract parishioners, especially those put off by the rituals and trappings of traditional churches.

So it ripped up its pews and filled the sanctuary with an eclectic mix of earth-tone love seats, sleek armchairs and coffeehouse tables.

The communion rail came down, and the pulpit went out the door, replaced by a stone-slab table with a base made from a neighbor's fallen tree. The newly added cappuccino machine and coffee grinder look just like the ones at Kwik Trip -- indeed, they were donated by Kwik Trip.

"There are plenty of churches in Waunakee and plenty of Christians who already have churches in Waunakee. We wanted to target the people who aren't churched," said Kristen Koepsell, worship director.

This relaxed approach, in which God doesn't care about your posture or your caffeine addiction, has taken hold in numerous churches, although St. Andrew may be taking it to a new level. Many churches now offer at least one service with a looser, more conversational format, often involving a live band.

"There's a trend toward people being more interested in approaching the spiritual and sacred on their own terms," said Robert Glenn Howard, a UW-Madison associate professor in communication arts and religious studies.

This suggests a de-emphasis on the institutional components of religion, including the formal setting itself, Howard said. The Internet is fueling part of this change. People expect their voices to be heard -- they're used to contributing to online forums -- so there's a shift away from a top-down, centralized approach, he said.

"It's all part of the idea that the most important thing is for the individual to connect with the divine, and it doesn't really matter if you do that with a 19th-century hymn or a rock 'n' roll song," Howard said.

The Waunakee church, 5757 Emerald Grove Lane, was built in 1990 as Lord and Savior Evangelical Lutheran Church. But the congregation never really took off. "We weren't reaching out into the community very well," said Dick Bernards, a former president.

So two years ago, St. Andrew Lutheran Church in Middleton took over the church's assets and began operating it as a satellite location with the same name.

St. Andrew is now considered one congregation with two buildings. This gave church leaders the opportunity to try something different in Waunakee without risking a lot, said the Rev. Randy Hunter, who serves both churches.

"It's not intended to be disrespectful of anyone's desire to worship in a more formal setting, but we know that for many people, that's just not their thing," he said.

The Middleton location continues to hold a traditional worship service, while the Waunakee site experiments with a laid-back structure.

Hunter's sermon is videotaped at an early Sunday service in Middleton, then broadcast on large screens later in the morning at Waunakee. After the sermon concludes, Waunakee parishioners talk about it in small groups, then a layperson brings them back together for a brief discussion.

The congregation's motto is "Casual about church, serious about God." Communion is still offered every week.

"The message is the same, it's just repackaged in a way that may be a little more inviting for some people," Hunter said.

Gene Berg, a founding member of Lord and Savior Evangelical Lutheran Church, said he likes a traditional worship service but is giving the casual approach a try. He appreciates that prayers and religious readings are still part of the Waunakee service.

"I'm getting there. I'm warming up to it," he said.

St. Andrew spent about $40,000 on the remodeling, including the services of a professional design consultant. Many parishioners pitched in, including Sarah Homan, who helped select the contemporary furniture by visiting local coffeehouses and Barnes & Noble.

Inspiration for the stone table with the tree-trunk base came from a desire to replicate the simplicity of ancient worship services, Homan said. "We really went back to the Bible, to books from Genesis to Revelation that talk about wood and stone altars," she said.

In many ways, the changes are a return to basics -- the opposite of a modern approach, Hunter said. "It's keeping it real. You can't hide behind a pulpit or a robe."

The Waunakee sanctuary seats 65 and so far has been averaging about 50 people each Sunday, including some unfamiliar faces.

"Personally, I'll gauge our success by how many new people come through the door who haven't been going to a church," Hunter said. "If it becomes a place where current members just want to hang out because it's cool, then I don't think we will have succeeded."

To see more of The Wisconsin State Journal, or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to http://www.wisconsinstatejournal.com. Copyright (c) 2008, The Wisconsin State Journal Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. For reprints, email tmsreprints@permissionsgroup.com, call 800-374-7985 or 847-635-6550, send a fax to 847-635-6968, or write to The Permissions Group Inc., 1247 Milwaukee Ave., Suite 303, Glenview, IL 60025, USA.

***

GJ - The spirit of mockery is thriving in this corner of the Wisconsin sect. Doubtless the District Pope is busy disciplining anyone who...criticizes the caffeine congregation. The essence of Deformed theology is using a hook or gimmick to attract people to the Gospel - adulterating the message of the cross. What better way than to have a cross resting in a cup of coffee as the official logo?

Some people were offended at the government sponsored "art" called Piss Christ. That photo showed a tradition cross or crucifix in a glass of urine. As gross and stupid as that was, the faux-art was nothing compared to this faux-Gospel sponsored by WELS.

The message is - Means of Grace worship is boring, painful, meaningless. All the Church-and-Change congregations have the same rant in their ads, even former ones like CrossRoads in South Lyons, Michigan. Look at the words again, copied below:

"Sometimes, just the thought of church is painful—words repeated without meaning, everyone acting like their (sic) lives are perfect, feeling judged, or just being bored. What if there were a place you could worship and ask questions without feeling like you had to hide your real self?"

---

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "This Doufus ELCA Congregation...No - Wait. WELS!?":

This article made me cry and I am in pain after having read it. There should be public outrage and outcry from both laity and clergy. I cannot believe that President Schroeder and the Conference of Presidents puts a stamp of approval on this. I am not able to place offerings in my envelope directed to synod with a clear conscience.
May God help us all.
Perhaps I stand alone; this is not the WELS I was instructed and confirmed in. How can we, the laity, and the pastors I used to look up to just stand by and watch this?
I am needing to step away and not just look away.

St. Mark's DePere Hails Kelm Copy-and-Paste Call to The Love Shack

Kelm: "I thought I requested a bigger office."

Partners!

Pastor Kelm accepts his call.

Pastor Paul Kelm accepted his call to serve our Synod as a parish consultant. We thank God for his services among us and pray that God blesses him in his new ministry area. Pastor Kelm and his wife, Lynne, will remain as partners at St. Mark.

St. Mark Newsletter

***

GJ - Some particulars about the Kelm call, from a variety of trustworthy sources:

1. Synod President Mark Schroeder previously advised the DPS not to call anyone to this position. I don't know the reasons he gave, but many WELS members and pastors wonder why the synod needs to waste more money on a Fooler-Sem program. Huebner, Olson, and Kelm were trained at Pasadena to be parish consultants. Truly - what a joke. Kelm is famous for recycling Reformed doctrine and programs and calling it creative.

2. The DPS Administrator Bruce Becker, who is on the board of Church and Change, did not tell President Schroeder that they extended the call to Kelm. As three different sources have told me, President Schroeder found out by reading the call list when it was published. Most would call this gross insubordination.

3. Church and Change has booked Baptist Ed Stetzer to be their next keynote speaker. Will the fainting bunny-rabbits, known as the Council of Presidents, raise any objections?

4. Wayne Mueller left The Love Shack but teaches the Arizona-California-Las Vegas District. Kelm returns to The Love Shack. Net loss of Church Growth/Church and Change leaders - Zero.

I expect the passive pastors of WELS to do nothing about the Kelm call and the next Baptist conference sponsored by Bruce Becker. If the laity want anything to happen, they will have to act on their own.

---

Facts and figures from the same newsletter, which I have copied, lest they disappear:

By The Numbers
f.y.i.
Weekend attendance (October 12): 1026

To Date (July 1, 2008 - October 12, 2008) Needed contributions (year-to-date) - $404,750.00 / Actual contributions (year-to-date) - $373,128.07

Other items of interest: Received to date for Building Fund - $901,990.81 / Expenditures from Building Fund - $1,484,569.38 / Line of Credit with Thrivent - $590,000.00

GJ - They are in the red, both in the regular budget and building fund. The Love Shack needs that kind of vision, leadership, and churchgrowthiness. Rev. Kelm will soon show WELS congregations how to accomplish the same marvels in their own parishes - for a fee.