Church and Chicaneries speak with forked tongues, so their words need translation. Their terms are listed below, reverently posted in red, followed by their real meaning:
Outreach - Sheep-stealing from other congregations.
Excellent Worship - Entertainment by a Praise Band.
Praise Band - Members of various denominations who want to perform in a Lutheran church.
Ichabod! - Our funds are being cut.
Divisive - Someone who makes clear distinctions between sound and false doctrine, with examples of both shown.
Legalist - A person who does not like garage bands, Zwingli's doctrine, unionism, the destruction of the historic liturgy, and closeted-Calvinism.
Creative Minister - Someone who slavishly copies the latest fads among the Enthusiasts.
Violating the Eighth Commandment - Publishing our false doctrine.
Violating Matthew 18 - Failure to speak privately to us about our public sins, because we need time to trash the speaker before anyone pays attention to him.
Church Consultant - Fuller Seminary graduate.
Mission Counselor - Fuller Seminary graduate.
Seminary Professor - Fuller Seminary graduate.
Staff Ministry - Finding a way to ordain women.
WELS Prayer Institute - A place for Chicaneries to hide in case Church and Change is shut down.
Foundation Grants - The lifeblood of C and C.
Thrivent Grants - The lifeblood of C and C.
Synod Subsidies - The lifeblood of C and C.
Stewardship - Arranging for various funds to keep us going because we hate to give.
Totally Awesome Worship Leader - Andy Stanley, Craig Groeschel, Marc Driscoll, etc.
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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Chicanery-Speak":
Amen, and Amen!
I am glad the "WELS Prayer Institute" was mentioned. I just heard that we had one last week.
Is the "WELS Prayer Institute" an admission that up to now we didn't have a prayer?
I suppose looking for a WELS Means of Grace Institute is expecting way too much!
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GJ - Actually, you are at the Lutheran Means of Grace Institute right now - serving all synods since the last century.
ICHABOD, THE GLORY HAS DEPARTED - explores the Age of Apostasy, predicted in 2 Thessalonians 2:3, to attack Objective Faithless Justification, Church Growth Clowns, and their ringmasters. The antidote to these poisons is trusting the efficacious Word in the Means of Grace. John 16:8. Isaiah 55:8ff. Romans 10. Most readers are WELS, LCMS, ELS, or ELCA. This blog also covers the Roman Catholic Church, Eastern Orthodoxy, and the Left-wing, National Council of Churches denominations.
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
Chicanery-Speak
