Ski Kelms* Craig Groeschel

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Did The CORE Model Itself after This Babtist Churc...":

The CORE must have been reading your blog because there are now listings on their events page and their calendar. The calendar shows the sermon series for the next several weeks. Compare the topics to those listed here:

http://open.lifechurch.tv/series/83

Urban Legends
View this series. Series ID: 83
4 week series

Do you know someone who's seen Bigfoot's tracks? What about Nessie in Loch Ness? Of course, almost every kid has learned that there really are alligators in the sewer. You know how it goes: someone sees something and tells someone who then tells someone else. On and on and on it goes until its hard to separate fact from fiction. This doesn't just happen with alligators and Bigfoot... it happens with spiritual truths as well. Join us as we separate fact from fiction and debunk spiritual myths.
Click below to explore this series.

At The CORE - A sermon series called Urban Legends.

http://open.lifechurch.tv/Series/66

The Sickness Within
View this series. Series ID: 66
5 week series

Is it really what's inside that counts? If so, what's going on inside you? Worry? Doubt? Loneliness? Lust? Sometimes the internal struggles that no one else sees are the ones that blind us the most. We'll get the inside story on how God offers hope and strength for overcoming these battles in this series, The Sickness Within.
Click below to explore this series.

At The CORE - a sermon series called The Sickness Within.

Must be a coincidence.

+Martinus

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From the Orace of Twitter, back in action:

RT @llcooljames: If people say evil things about you and it's true, correct yourself. If it's a lie laugh at it. Thnks LL gr8 2 remember.
about 7 hours ago from TweetDeck

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GJ - So why is he still preaching Groeschel's sermons?

*To kelm or to parlow: copying another parson's sermons and taking credit for them. In the Patterson Circuit, a copied sermon is called a doebler. Kelming and parlowing are often followed by large but undeserved grants. A doebler is always backed by rock music and disappointing grant allotments.

Ski attended a one-day conference led by Craig Groeschel and Andy Stanley, yet another coincidence. Ski, Parlow, and Buske worshiped at the Andy Stanley Babtist conference at Northpoint Community Church in Atlanta. Ski also attended a conference at Granger Community Church.Ski's Drive 08 Journal

The final Main Session with Andy Stanley was just phenomenal. We began with awesome worship. Today though, they began with a Christian rapper, Toby Mac. Our school kids would have loved it. I’m not sure that they would have believed that it was church though.

When Andy began his session. He started by saying that he was not going to follow his notes in the Drive ’08 Journal Book. Instead he was going to do something that he called, “Recent Random Thoughts On Church Leadership.” He shared 5 points and 5 takeaways. I think that he was at his absolute best this afternoon.


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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Ski Kelms* Craig Groeschel":

Kelming and parlowing have reduced WELS to the tragic state it is in today: disrespect for the Word, unethical behavior, stupidity, ignorance, laziness, stubbornness arrogance, etc. etc. etc.

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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Ski Kelms* Craig Groeschel":

It's disgusting to me that this so-called church is allowed to continue as a WELS project. Sad part of it is, most people sitting in the pews throwing their weekly offering into the plate, have no idea it could be going to fund The Core. As long as they are open for business as a WELS entity, I cannot give synod a dime of my hard-earned money. What's the point of going to four years of college and another four years at the Seminary if all you need to do is copy and paste a different church's work whom we are not even in fellowship with. Ski disgusts me.

DMLC Grad Appointed at University of Phoenix

I am pleased to announce the appointment of Paul Danuser as the new Campus College Chair for Education at the Phoenix Campus.

Paul earned a Bachelor’s of Science Degree in Elementary Education from Dr. Martin Luther College (New Ulm, MN) and a Master’s of Arts Degree in Secondary Education from the University of Phoenix.

LDS Gets It Right, But Calls It a Typo

PROVO, Utah – Thousands of issues of Brigham Young University's student newspaper were pulled from newsstands because a front-page photo caption misidentified leaders of the Mormon church as apostates instead of apostles.

An apostate is a person who has abandoned religious faith, principles or a cause.

The photo in The Daily Universe on Monday was of members of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, a governing body of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, at the weekend general conference.

The caption called the group the "Quorum of the Twelve Apostates." The mistake happened when a copy editor ran a computer spell check and apostate was suggested as the replacement for a misspelling of apostle.

"Unfortunately that's the one she clicked on," said Rich Evans, the paper's editorial manager. "It still should have been caught by two more levels of review after that, but again with deadline looming, the worst possible thing happened."

The typo was an honest mistake, said Carri Jenkins, spokeswoman for church-owned BYU. She said most of the 18,000 copies of the student paper were retrieved Monday morning and replaced with 10,000 corrected copies later in the day.

No university or church administrator has sought to punish anyone, Jenkins said.

"This is extremely rare," she said. "The focus today has been how and why the error occurred and what we can do to make sure that this does not happen again."

Bruce Becker's Anti-Biblical Question Echoes

Rim shots heard after each pulpit joke are an important addition.
Ba-da-bing!
Congregations of Influence in the WELS

Our own St. Matthew Church has been recognized as a "Congregation of Influence in the WELS." Thirty-four other congregations across the United States have also been recognized with this special honor. Recognition comes from two areas:

1) Consistent growth over the course of several years

2) High percentage of members in worship

Each congregation is asked to have as many members as possible respond to this question. "What factors beyond the power of the Gospel are prompting the growth of your congregation?"

Each response is to be around 300 words and all responders will be anonymous. If you are willing to serve in this capacity, please e-mail Pastor Enderle or send an e-mail to church@stmatthewsonline.org.

Church Dedication

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Read the pastor appreciation page.

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GJ - I just copy and paste. It's called kelming in Milwaukee. In Fox Valley, the pastors will say to the secretary, alternately, "Would you parlow this report?"

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Not Alone +++ PAS has left a new comment on your post "Bruce Becker's Anti-Biblical Question Echoes":

Skubalon!
Skubalon!!
Skubalon!!!

I checked the site and you weren't making this up!

"What factors beyond the power of the Gospel are prompting the growth of your congregation?"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

300 Words?!

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C and C Stormtrooper, after diversity training.

GJ - I do not make things up. Church and Chicaneries write my satire for me, even though they take themselves seriously.

The original question came from Bruce Becker, C and C Board Member, head of Perish Services, now a paid Mark Jeske Stormtrooper.

Did The CORE Model Itself after This Babtist Church?

The C and C response has already been anticipated.

Our expanding research team found this link on Facebook.


Wednesday, August 15, 2007
Rock 'n' Roll Church ...
Every rock 'n' roll preacher needs a rock 'n' roll church. This year, I had the privilege of meeting Sara Chappel, a Toronto journalist, over the phone. (Check out Sara's work on FaithWriters.com.) When Sara and I talked, she was trying to get a handle on the church in Canada. I told her the Central Baptist story. Here's what she took from our conversation.

Greg Glatz has written much of his doctoral dissertation and most of his sermons at a Winnipeg Starbucks, where the staff know him and, unbidden, keep him caffeinated as he taps away at his laptop and chats on his cell phone. Today, he’s hunkered down in the coffee shop against a brutal cold-snap that’s left Winnipeg ice-bound in -40 degree weather. His latte and his cell phone are both within arm’s reach, and he trades back and forth between them with an ease that’s almost hypnotic.

Glatz is the pastor – or “guru,” as he’s described on the church’s website – at Central Baptist Church, a “micro church with a mega mission” in Winnipeg. He sees nothing unusual in the image of a minister writing in a Starbucks, rather than in a dusty study surrounded by equally dusty academic tomes. In fact, it’s a perfect illustration of the kind of church he hopes to create, and the kind of church he thinks will survive an age of increasingly individualized religion. “We need to get out of our doors and into the world, which is where Jesus sent us,” he says. “I’m tired of people defining church by one hour on a Sunday morning.” So the church closes its doors on some Sunday mornings, to enable its members to go into the world and participate in community activities like charity walk-a-thons. Many of the activities of the church focus on meeting in coffee shops, or at blues concerts – anywhere other than the traditional pews n’ pulpit.

Glatz says his style of ministry is designed for “post modern pilgrims” – people disenchanted with the finger wagging and “thou shalt nots” of traditional organized religion. Church-goers – especially those with no previous religious background – “don’t want to be told what to believe and what they can’t believe. They don’t want to be dogmatized. They’re looking for guides and gurus.” To that end, he focuses on helping people experience the divine, rather than prescribing rules and beliefs. For Glatz, this “experiential” approach involves one of his twelve guitars and the church’s in-house band. It also means he uses contemporary phrases and imagery to bring Christianity closer to his congregants; one of his sermons about communion – written at Starbucks – was called “Bite Me.” Not surprisingly, many of Glatz’s parishioners are “refugees,” as Glatz calls them, from more traditional congregations, and many have no church background at all.

Glatz’s church is small, even by modern standards, although, since he’s been pastor, it’s doubled in size and is holding strong. He has a regular crowd on Sundays of about 60 people, and, although he’d like his congregation to be a little bigger – say, 85 or so – he’s perfectly happy with his small-but-strong congregation. In fact, he sees the mega church movement – congregations in the thousands, stadium seating, and massive television presence – as a dead end. “Mega is dead,” he says flatly. “Gen-Y’s – 20-somethings – aren’t finding what they want in those churches. They want house churches, coffee shops. As a rule, those churches are losing a whole generation. We’re going to have a whole lot of white elephant buildings sitting around in 10-20 years.” Although he’d welcome the extra revenue that more parishioners would bring in, Glatz’s overarching desire to build real connections between real humans means that the mega church model is completely inappropriate to his mission. For Glatz, the future of the church lies in being able to take the church into the world to make connections with people, many of whom only have the dimmest idea of what church actually means, and many of whom want to make their own decisions about what to believe.

My thanks to Sara for feeling our vibe.
posted by The Rock 'n' Roll Preacher at 8/15/2007 03:09:00 PM


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Rev. Greg Glatz
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Astrological Sign: Cancer
Zodiac Year: Dragon
Industry: Non-Profit
Occupation: Rock 'n' Roll Preacher
Location: Muddy Waters : Manitoba : Canada
Audio Clip
About Me
Rev. Greg Glatz is a postmodern pilgrim who brings the passion for guitar and God together as the Rock ‘n’ Roll Preacher. Greg is the lead pastor at Winnipeg’s Central Baptist Church and the lead guitar player for the Royal Unruh Band. He also plays guitar in the church house band and for several local projects.

Greg is a doctoral student at George Fox University in Portland, OR. He previously completed a B.A. in ancient/medieval history and languages at the University of Manitoba and a M.Div. at North American Baptist Seminary. Greg was a contributing author to Leonard Sweet’s 2008 book, Church of the Perfect Storm and has been an ongoing contributor to ChristianWeek.

Greg has one amazing wife, two incredible kids, and twelve guitars. You can find him Sunday mornings down at the church house, or tune into the GodTalk Radio Show on Sunday nights from 9-11 on CJOB 680 AM or streamed live on the world wide web.

What reason do you have to believe the earth is flat?
Are you kidding? I've lived on the prairies my whole life: how could the earth be anything except flat?!?

Interests
music guitars radio books web design cars
My Blogs Team Members
Notes from The Rock and Roll Preacher
Short remarks Brenda Arndt smash Eldon Kitty Myron D. Arndt
GodTalk Radio Show
Postmodern Pilgrims Hal Tippy Cakes G.I. Jazz Doug Koop FridgeOwl Stefany Rose Rolly George Nathan Heather

Perish Services in WELS Reads Writing on the Wall: Mene, Mene, Tekel, Go Back to Fuller and Stay There

"But I have a DMin from Fuller and a certificate from Willow Creek!"

The Ad Hoc Commission Report is summarized and linked here.

The Together message is linked here.

KJV Daniel 5:22 And thou his son, O Belshazzar, hast not humbled thine heart, though thou knewest all this; 23 But hast lifted up thyself against the Lord of heaven; and they have brought the vessels of his house before thee, and thou, and thy lords, thy wives, and thy concubines, have drunk wine in them; and thou hast praised the gods of silver, and gold, of brass, iron, wood, and stone, which see not, nor hear, nor know: and the God in whose hand thy breath is, and whose are all thy ways, hast thou not glorified: 24 Then was the part of the hand sent from him; and this writing was written. 25 And this is the writing that was written, MENE, MENE, TEKEL, UPHARSIN. 26 This is the interpretation of the thing:

1. MENE; God hath numbered thy kingdom, and finished it.
   
2. TEKEL; Thou art weighed in the balances, and art found wanting.
   
3. PERES; Thy kingdom is divided, and given to the Medes and Persians.

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Perish Services, bereft of Bruce Becker but burdened with Paul Kelm, will fight for its life in the next few months before the convention.

The Love-Shack-in-Exile is now located at Holy Word, Austin, Texas, where disgraced SP Gurgel is working with Kudu Don Patterson to retake the synod for Church Shrinkage. The Church Shrinkers have had their way since 1977, when Ron Roth started the pathetic organ of false doctrine called TELL. While talking growth, the Shrinkers have taught false doctrine, lined their pockets with synod money, and devastated the synod, defenestrating anyone who dared question their infallibility.

Patterson's wealthy suburban church can afford multiple safaris in Africa and two properties owned by Kudu Don, and yet they still have their hands out for synod subsidy when other entities are truly suffering from a lack of funds.

I heard Mark Jeske speak with typical arrogance about his desire to see Northwestern College closed. Apparently the faculty did not bow down to him while he was a student there. Or they mentioned Lutheran doctrine often enough to irritate him. Jeske will be another focal point in saving Perish Services.

Do not forget A-town, the Fox Valley churches led astray by John Parlow, Steve Witte, and Ron Ash. They are self-indulgent, bongo-drum beating beehives of anti-Lutheran activity. Parlow is a failure who could not scrape up enough funds to have one campus (denied, of course - anonymously). Like Jeske and Patterson, Parlow gets fat subsidies when his congregation should be supporting others.

The CORE is the shining light, the best example of what Perish Services, Church and Chicanery, and Schwaermer training has to offer:

1. The name Lutheran abandoned as an obstacle.
   
2. The word church also left by the wayside as a barrier to growth.
   
3. Reaching out to WELS members; aka, skimming the cream while calling it a mission.
   
4. Rock music.
   
5. An obsession with hedonism.
   
6. A full-time assistant to help with work that is clearly not being done anyway - minimal worship and Bible study, no Lutheran content provided, maximum Tweeting.
   
7. And of course, wasting a great deal of money while providing a high visibility embarrassment to all Lutherans, regardless of race, gender, synod, country of origin, or sexual orientation.

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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Perish Services in WELS Reads Writing on the Wall:...":

St. Peter's in Freedom, WI is the parent of their whorish daughter congregation, The CORE. Perhaps they've taken Freedom too far in their thinking of what is God-pleasing.

Certainly no one can claim this is a good use of resources and proper stewardship. Is there really no better use for $100,000 or whatever this costs to get off the ground?

They may gently reassure themselves that it is free grant money, so it doesn't really cost the congregation cash to run CORE. But it does cost them their reputation as proper stewards and discerners of right from wrong.


I Cor 4:1-2:
Let a man so account of us, as of the ministers of Christ, and stewards of the mysteries of God.

Moreover it is required in stewards, that a man be found faithful.

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Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Perish Services in WELS Reads Writing on the Wall:...":

I think you guys should worry more about minding your own p's and q's and let the Lord decide how he wants his church to grow. If it is of man it will fail. If it is of God it will succeed and we must have the wisdom and MATURITY to accept either outcome as the Lord sees fit. You guys are the first to throw stones and yet how innocent are all of you? What divisive talk. You cling to your own understandings and you are as guilty as those you are accusing. You decry the mysteries of God and yet presume to know it all. May the Lord have mercy on all of us!

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GJ - The Church and Chicaneries wanted to be judged by their results. That is fine, though anti-Biblical. They have decreased the size of the denomination during 30+ years of population growth. They have bankrupted the Wisconsin Synod during a time of enormous gift-giving through St. Marvin of Schwan. As Donald Trump would say, upon emerging from yet another bankruptcy, "You're fired!"