Monday, October 3, 2011

Trying Not To Laugh -
The Lutheran Satire Factory


This bizarre example of pseudo-gothic architecture exemplifies
the spirit of Mary worship in Roman Catholicism. It even has a statue of Mary.
Correction - This is the CFW Walther shrine, complete with a statue of the kidnapping, mob-organizing, thieving Founder (sic) of the Missouri Synod. Watch the new Walther movie - fiction.


Pastor Herman Otten wrote an editorial about the lack of doctrinal discipline in the LCMS. That is why the liberals continue to triumph, he claims.

Otten backed Jack Preus, who won the synod presidency with the support of Christian News. But Jack proved ambivalent about doctrinal discipline, even though he made some dramatic changes and chased the Seminex gang out of Missouri. Otten backed Ralph Bohlmann, who dedicated his presidency to getting rid of conservatives while supporting apostates and women's ordination. Bohlmann's daughter is now an ordained minister living with her female partner. Otten backed Al Barry, working covertly with Paul McCain, but Barry celebrated his victory by doing nothing about Church Growth errorists or the Pentecostals. Otten-Cascione sealed Kieschnick's victory with pre-election rants about Gerry's opponents, writing almost nothing about Kieschnick's strange will-changing crime.

Like WELS, Missouri has secret meetings where future candidates are picked. Doubtless Otten had some role in Matt Harrison's election, either by remaining officially silent or by printing propaganda, as he did with Al Barry. Suddenly, McCain popped up again at the Purple Palace, like Gollum in Mordor, savoring the prize he could never own.

Otten has proved to be a dependable flack for the Olde Synodical Conference. The officials constantly call on him to provide spin (official lies), to spike stories and to publish cover stories, even if they are hilarious lies - like the Party in the MLC excuse.

One of the best examples of false doctrine flourishing comes from Otten himself. Although he has published articles critical of Church Growth, he lavishly praised David Valleskey's textbook on Church Growth, listing it as a "doctrinal book" among the books he sells. How strange - to subvert the Means of Grace with a slobbering book on CG Enthusiasm, while continuing to complain about doctrinal apostasy.

The foundational sin of the Olde Synodical Conference is Pietism, its inability to face and repudiate the errors of that curious blend of Lutheran doctrine, Calvinism, and rationalism. The two components of Pietism are
  • Organizing the cell group and
  • Shunning the unclean.


Shunning the unclean is often overlooked as a key feature of Pietism. Menno Simons raised it to an art, but Lutherans adopted it with sanctimonious glee. For example, if someone agrees with the Syn Conference in almost all respects but agrees with the Book of Concord that ordination is a sacrament, he is shunned by the Waltherians.

Let the satire begin. Walther was not a pastor when he arrived in America, pledging his obedience to Bishop-For-Life Stephan. Walther and the other pastors had resigned their calls in Europe. Therefore, like McCain at CPH, he had no call and was no longer a pastor. Yet, Walther signed his name as "pastor" on the document getting rid of Bishop Stephan. As a pastor, he kidnapped two children, evaded authorities, got his future mother-in-law arrested, involved his attorneys in obstruction of justice, and then came to America, escaping arrest. In the US, Walther--as pseudopastor--stole land from Stephan, violated the confessional seal, organized a mob, threatened Stephan's life, robbed him via the mob, and forced him across the Mississippi River at gunpoint, another felony.

Walther set himself up as the American pope, fracturing the Lutherans with his need to dictate doctrine to everyone, apart from the Scriptures and Confessions, against the Scriptures and Confessions. Although Walther is promoted as an orthodox Lutheran, repristinating Lutheran doctrine, he was a Pietist who joined with the adulterous Pietist Stephan. Whatever Walther decided to be true was turned into an infallible decree by his unrelenting control of all facets of the growing sect - education, publications, congregational calls. His peculiar UOJ, borrowed from Knapp of Halle University (where Stephan studied) percolated through the Syn Conference until it bubbled up for good in the 1932 Brief Confession. The Syn Conference immediately went into decline, although few felt or noticed it for decades.

The Waltherian approach broke up many alliances and continues to work its magic today. Ignoring the basics of Biblical, Lutheran doctrine, the neo-Pietists shun those who:
  1. Criticize the NIV or NNIV. Watch for WELS expulsions again.
  2. Doubt the Church Growth Movement or its bastard child, Emergent Church.
  3. Quote Ichabod as their source.
  4. Realize that UOJ is fraudulent and anti-Christian.
  5. Reject the synodical pronouncements they agree with, even though they reject the Book of Concord and the efficacy of the Word.
  6. Ask questions.
  7. Oppose plagiarism and deceit.
Like the Mennonites, they are not content to stop speaking to the unclean. The neo-Pietists refuse to do any business with them. They drive the unclean away. While groaning about the Eighth Commandment, they trash these people without mercy or remorse.

Patterson and ex-SP Gurgle drove Joe and Lisa Krohn out of the congregation, then "discussed" UOJ with the congregation, lying about the couple "losing faith" and refusing to let Joe, a congregational elder, speak for himself or ask questions at the kangeroo court. DP Glaeske, like DP Englebrecht, refused an appeal.

Menno Simons, thou hast conquered.