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| WELS gave Glende an enormous gift to buy this bankrupt bar in downtown Appleton, and they loaned Glende the money to remodel and Febreeze it. The architecture is pure WEF - ugly. |
Actual text of letter from WELS Headquarters -
WELS Mission Board
The Love Shack
2929 N. Mayfair Road
Milwaukee, WI 53222
Pastor Keith Free
Dear Star of Bethlehem,
We have denied your request for mission aid, because we gave it away to The CORE in Appleton and you are not John Brug's nephew.
We are sorry you sold a paid-for building on the campus of the U. of Illinois, rented space for a long time, and built a church on the far edge of town, next to a cornfield. You cannot borrow any more money because you are not John Brug's nephew.
We are sorry so many members left the congregation during that terrible time of trial. We thought it was a great idea to get rid of a campus location. The LCMS did the same thing, and Matt Harrison approved. And besides, you are not John Brug's nephew.
We note the irony that you are now dug deep into debt to us for exchanging a great location on the campus for a terrible location outside of town and away from students, but you are not John Brug's nephew.
If you were John Brug's nephew, you would be studying under the great leaders of Lutheran evangelism, just as we do at the Mission Board - Groeschel, Stanley, Stetzer, Driscoll, Hybels, Sweet, Weakland, and Beeson. You would be looking for a cool non-church name, with no reference to Lutheran, which is a real downer for growth.
Our Leonard-Sweet-Name program has the following suggestions for your new church name:
1. Star of the Cornfield.
2. My Illini.
3. Callin' the Hogs.
We cannot start you all over again with that new name, and give you mission support, because you are not John Brug's nephew.
Perhaps our dear friend DP Don Patterson will coach you for a small monthly fee. He is a friend of Tim Glende, so he might give you a discount, because Tim is John Brug's nephew.
Please take comfort in the fact that you were born forgiven and entered this darkling world saved. Even though you are not John Brug's nephew, you have the assurance that you are in the best denomination of all - but please take it off your letterhead. We have noticed that mission prospects run away screaming and crying when they see WELS.
Goodbye and good luck.
Keith Free,
your passionate about sharing Jesus servant
