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| Yes, I have this feeder. |
Ignored by the mainstream press, this confidential memo was leaked by the Guardians of Peace -
Top Secret Guide for Squirrels. Eyes Only. Shred after Reading.
My Fellow Rodents:
Life is difficult and dangerous, but it can be a whole lot better near a garden. Take my advice and do not let this memorandum be read by any other species.
Humans have a strange, conflicted attitude about us. They hate the way we raid their bird feeders, but they love our antics. Concentrate on cuteness and you will live high on the hog.
Some of our best characteristics are switching the tail, hopping around, and jumping from tree to tree. Humans find that endlessly entertaining.
Best of all, they love to see us eating. They will set up squirrel feeders far away from the bird feeders, so use the distant feeders to encourage them. Sit up and make a big show of the meal. Chase your friend around the tree a few times. I do that with Walnut, just to keep the corn ears coming.
Every so often, do the big startle. "Oh, someone is looking!" They will laugh and point a camera, hoping for a good shot.
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| This is another reason to laugh at squirrel proof feeder ads. |
Eat the corn from above, hanging by your feet. They cannot imagine the same thing, so they gasp and point.
Visit the empty ear, so they say, "Oh, I have to put another one in, or they will raid the bird feeder."
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| I have this model of squirrel-proof feeder. |
They cannot guard that bird feeder all day, so collect the stuff that falls to the ground. When everything is quiet, sit on the squirrel proof feeder and feast.
Do not worry about dogs. They make more noise than a marching band at halftime. However, cats are jerks. They will quietly stalk and pounce. Warn the little ones to stay high in the tree until they reach their full growth. Few cats will risk a battle with an adult squirrel. Chatter at them from the first limb. Humans will say, "Listen to that saucy squirrel, cussing out our Siamese."
Yours, Confidentially,
Acorn
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| Our Bella Vista squirrels knew the windows protected them. For fun, they played hide and seek with Sassy. |
