The Modernists are changing liturgical colors and names to remain in line with the Church of Rome.
The gesima Sundays are gone, in favor of a longer Epiphany season. ELCA follows Rome, and the Thrivent thralls follow ELCA.
Therefore I am proposing the following - to keep up with the reduced vocabulary of American Lutherans:
The Day of Epiphany will start the season as The Wise Guys. That will appeal to Godfather fans.
That season will be called Happy Time, because the Gospel lessons have happy, positive themes. First Happy Sunday, Second Happy Sunday - so much easier to say and to spell (a bonus for Mequon graduates).
Ash Wednesday is a downer. Why should guilt-free saints repent? So that day will be Spring Preview.
Lent means Spring, so the Lenten Sundays will become The First Sunday in Spring, etc.
Of course, Easter is good for attendance and offerings, so no one will change that name. Good Friday will be optional since everyone was already forgiven and saved, 2000 years ago.
The satire above worked too well. Mrs. Ichabod said tonight, "Why are you getting rid of the gesima Sundays?"
I said, "That was a joke, which I mentioned last Sunday...as a joke."
Mrs. I countered, "Not something to joke about."
