Squirrel Tales - As One Reader Describes Them

Shock or boredom?

Several readers suggested that I put a Slinky around the pole holding up the bird feeder. That solution appeared on Facebook, reminding me of the weed killer recipe (Dawn detergent, Epson salts, Agent Orange? Napalm?).

The problem with any solution concerning squirrels, as Dr. Bruce Church conceded, is that squirrels defeat the clever ruse in time.

Squirrels have range-finder eyes. If you have ever used one in a camera, the image is brought together when the focus is perfect. I had an Argus camera that did this and produced perfect photos. Now lasers do the job for us. God designed them for squirrels, and they work very well.

If squirrels are defeated on the pole, they simply land on top, even if they miss a few times. Once they have the distance, the feeder is theirs. As I wrote earlier, the squirrel-proof lever that kept the seed locked up - yes that one - it was jiggled to drop seed into the squirrels mouth below. One paw on the pole, one on the lever, open mouth, serve the sunflower seeds until full.

I had a solution once. I put tree stickum on the pole. That kept the squirrels off the pole for a long time, until they said "No way" and climbed through the goo and left it all over the house and window. I got to clean it off, which was time-consuming and sticky beyond belief.

No matter what I do to the pole, the squirrels will climb the Butterfly Bush next to the two poles (platform and squirrel-proof feeders). The main thing protecting the squirrel-proof feeder is its cargo of finch food. Squirrels will ravage that too, if nothing else is available.

They have:

• Sunflower seeds.
• Suet.
• Thistle (nyjer).
• Corn.

Squirrels are always entertaining: always energetic, gymnastic champions, high wire artists, and clowns.

 I once moved the wedding cake slice stored in a tree.
The squirrel fetched it earlier from the garbage can and saved it in the original zip-loc bag. I moved it and squirrel looked at me in a rage.

Church History and the History of Doctrine

I wrote on Facebook - about this post on Yale church historians.
"One can become too cynical from a studying church history alone. The history of doctrine is more enlightening because one must face the doctrine itself, as you say. Many avoid that because they will see the felons in their synodical family tree. They would rather boast about the heroic deeds of the founders. That is why the shallow approach to Luther annoys me no end. The emphasis is placed on what he did rather than what he taught."

Church history itself is more biographical and relies on the documents of the age.

The history of doctrine seeks to find out the origins of the various confessions of faith. That is more difficult - but more important - because it is an intellectual history.

Databases - even simple ones - are handy. As LI has said more than once, "Computers eliminate routine functions so we can concentrate on the more interesting ones. Doing the same thing over and over leads to mistakes from boredom."

Adam Mueller is also trans-doctrine-lite.

 Wayne Mueller's son must not have read Daddy's denial
about the absence of Church Growth in WELS.
But the Book of Concord encourages WELS to change doctrine,
dumping Gausewitz, and to wear dresses at church picnics.
Right? Right?

I began Megatron, the Database, immediately after Wayne Mueller claimed there was no Church Growth in WELS, and even if so, Church Growth was in harmony with the Book of Concord (which he clearly never glanced at).

Dunces quote other dunces,
and false teachers always find dubious justification
for their false doctrine.

The Great Wayne Mueller even said the Confessions encourage us to change doctrine.

Photoshop enabled me to cut and paste all the obvious
Church Growth stars into one graphic.

Most of the blokes above are retired now, but their toxic waste remains. Mark Schroeder, who pledged himself to clean up the stables, dropped his mask and donned his Stormtrooper uniform. He is the best friend Church and Change ever had, whether a Manchurian Candidate, or a convert to their cause.

Sow weed seeds, harvest weeds.
Isn't that Steve Witte, a Founder of Church and Change,
jointly teaching with an ELCA pastor?

 So glad John Lawrenz did not let the Asian mini-seminary
slip away from the grasp of Church and Change.