Wednesday, October 25, 2017

Harvey Weinstein Synods Repent in Time for Reformation Anniversary



The Harvey Weinstein scandal has resonated with nominal Lutheran leaders everywhere. They came to a sudden realization that they were not Lutheran at all, which may be the root of the the carnal scandals in the LCMS-WELS-ELS-CLC (sic).

Herman Otten texted the Church of the Augsburg Confession headquarters to say:

"I have more time in retirement, so I began reading Paul's letters and a little of Luther. The Bible does teach Justification by Faith. I supposed I should stop promoting ELCA and Roman Catholic books, too."


Paul McCain, writing under a pseudonym, tweeted - "Luther was right. I was wrong."



SP Mark Schroeder sent this message, via his supervisor Mark Jeske, "No wonder I look mirthless. Luther said - You have as much laughter as you have faith. So true. I am trying now to make the COP jolly."


Jim Heiser, the Lord High Bishop of the ELDONUTs, sent this email - "The money was on Justification by Faith, so we made a profound change in direction some time ago. However, we are open to a nuanced, subtle approach to this difficult, grey area of Scripture."


Tim Glende simply said, "I am hoping you forget that Inuit Fidei goof I made a few years ago."

 I forgot that one - sorry.


Pope John the Malefactor joined the rush to repentance. "I was reading the Galatians Lectures by Luther, by mistake. I was trying to find my Schwan order link on the computer and landed on that book. Wow. Wow. You may have a point about Justification by Faith."

 CPH Reformation celebration.
Obviously this post is satire, because the synods are satirizing  the Gospel while working closely with ELCA
and aping them in dogma and practice.