Saturday, April 7, 2018

The Five Points of Waltherism - How LCMS-ELS-WELS-CLC (sic) Morphed into ELCA via Thrivent



I was doing my homework on the Five Points of Calvinism, often called TULIP, and I realized - "The Five Points of Waltherism!"

I.   CFW Walther founded the LCMS. Forget about the Loehe churches inviting the Perryville fanatics for a talk - or Martin Stephan, STD, being THE leader of the Saxon Migration.
II.  The Stephanites were orthodox Lutherans who left Europe for religious freedom, which is why Stephan left his wife in Dresden and took his mistress in a nearby cabin on the ship.
III. The Great Walther gave Stephan three options when they "suddenly caught Bishop Stephan in adultery." Walther followed the Biblical admonitions to 1) Steal the bishop's land; 2) Steal the bishop's gold and enormous collection of books; 3) Give Stephan a free, armed boat ride to Illinois.
IV.  Walther studied Luther! That gave him special insights which harmonized with his rationalistic training at Leipzig and his Pietistic training under Stephan. CFW did not know or teach the Scriptures, but he certainly knew the Halle University dogmatics notes.
V.   Anyone who denies Walther's beautiful and clear Objective Justification is a base heretic deserving to be horse-whipped. This sovereign grace allows WELS-ELS-LCMS-CLC (sic) to work with ELCA on all spiritual projects with Thrivent money mined from the pockets of the innocent and unknowing.