Protestia Catches Up with Some of the ELCA Pratfalls Published on Ichabod Years Ago

"Brett, I know this Presby-Lutheran preaching costume is pretty tacky, but I cannot go for the pink stole, the QVC incense, and the $10,000 communion sets from Almy."

"Last Sunday, former head of the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America (ELCA) Mark Hanson preached a sermon at Elk River Lutheran Church in Elk River, Minnesota, where he went off on Jesus, describing him as mean, cruel, troubling, an advocate of Nimbyism (Not in My Backyard) and quite frankly, even a little racist. [ELCA's parish in Edina, Minnesota - The Sparkle Creed.]

It’s no big surprise, as the (ELCA) is functionally one of the most heretical and demonic denominations in America. It has denigrated to one massive pen for goats, run by spiritual criminals and hirelings, with barely a sheep to be found anywhere. From Planned Parenthood Logo on Clergy Clothes? to Queer ELCA Pastrix Ordained With Drag Queen Nuns While Jennifer Knapp Serenades, some of their ‘greatest hits include:"

ELCA Considers Expelling all Conservative, Anti-LGBTQ Pastors from their Midst
World’s Grossest Lutheran’ Pastor’ Says More Gross Things About ‘Heteronormative Marriages’
Church Holds’ Pride Worship Service’ Featuring All LGBTQ Songs
Woke Church Newsletter Invites Congregants To Help Pay for Abortions and Abortion Pills
Pastrix Says Jesus Called Syrophoenician Woman a ‘B*****’ + “Jesus Screwed Up, She Redeems Him”

Recounting the story of the Syrophoenician woman in Mark 7, Hanson spends half the sermon condemning and belittling Jesus for how he treated her. He describes Jesus’ behavior towards her as “despicable” and suggests he echoes the same attitude towards her that bad people have towards immigrants and children who are gender-transitioning.

Hanson concludes his sermon by revealing that Jesus eventually relented from his cruelty and “changed his mind, changed his heart, changed his attitude, changed his action.”

ELCA lady bishops claimed the Holy Spirit was locked in the closet trying to get out. "Let her out! Let her out!"

 What is wrong with this ordination? 
Not enough makeup!

Bishop April Larson inspired a generation of lady pastors to follow her in losing weight.

 She showed them how to lose weight! What? She became a bishop and gained a wee bit? 

 Drag queens know the real meaning of Christmas, and teach it to young ELCA kids.

 WELS college of ministry graduate - united together with ELCA, LCMS, ELS.

"Eaton was ordained in 1981 and served three different congregations in Ohio before being elected bishop of the ELCA Northeastern Ohio Synod in 2006. She was reelected synod bishop in May 2013, shortly before her election as ELCA presiding bishop.

Eaton’s four emphases for the ELCA are: We are church; We are Lutheran; We are church together; We are church for the sake of the world. These four emphases are fundamental to identifying who the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America is.

In 2015, under Eaton’s leadership, the ELCA underwent an extensive vision process to help this church journey faithfully and effectively together in the years ahead. The process resulted in Future Directions 2025, a strategic framework that helps shared leadership across the ELCA realize common aspirations and better face the challenges of this church.

In addition, with Eaton’s guidance, the ELCA launched Bishop Eaton’s Leadership Initiative, which encourages all ELCA members to seek out and inspire gifted people in our congregations and communities to consider a call to the ministry of the gospel.

As chief ecumenical officer of the ELCA, she represents this church in a wide range of ecumenical and interfaith settings. She is vice president for North America on the Council of the Lutheran World Federation and serves on the governing board and development committee of the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA and on the Religions for Peace USA Council of Presidents.

As presiding bishop, Eaton travels extensively, representing the ELCA in a variety of capacities. This has included a visit to a Syrian refugee camp; commemorating the 500th anniversary of the Reformation with Lutherans from around the world in Namibia; participating in an ecumenical service to commemorate the Reformation in the Lund, Sweden, cathedral with Pope Francis; visiting with migrants in Honduras; and attending the fifth consultation of women pastors and theologians in Tanzania.

Eaton’s husband is the Rev. T. Conrad Selnick, an Episcopal priest. They are parents of two adult children, Rebeckah and Susannah."