Sunday, February 24, 2008

Is There a Real Doctor in the House?



Paul Kelm, D.Min., Concordia Seminary, St. Louis


The Wisconsin sect has always been allergic to earned doctorates, even to honorary ones. Some say it is because the intellectuals like Richard Jungkuntz went liberal, joining the LCMS and eventually the ELCA. Others say it came from the Protest'ant split (long story) where the intellectuals left or experienced the Left Foot of Fellowship.

Lately I have noticed a surge in Dr. titles around the sect.

Long ago, while letting his pal deny it, Larry Olson got a D.Min. from Fuller Seminary. All he had to do was write a paper to get the degree. (And pay some money.)

Dr. Larry Otto Olson, D.Min. Fuller

Dr. Paul Kelm, D.Min. Concordia Seminary, St. Louis

Dr. Steve Witte - D.Min. - Gordon Conwell.

Dr. John Parlow - D.Min. - Denver Babtist.

Dr. James Witt, D.Min., Concordia Seminary, St. Louis

Dr. Rich Krause, D.Min., Ohio Ecumenical Consortium. Larry Oh! was his advisor in Church Growth - the bland leading the blind.

David Valleskey, Forrest Bivens, and most of the WELS leaders studied at Fuller Seminary, some Fuller extension, and/or Willow Creek.

Tim Glende and his bartender, Ski, left no stern untoned as they toured the highway of false teachers, from Andy Stanley and Mark Driscoll, to Groschel and Sweet.

Dr. Floyd Luther Stolzenburg, Jr. He lets people call him "Dr" but he never earned the degree. DP Mueller and VP Kuske tried to get him into their sect, but the facts prevented it. Then the Little Sect on the Prairie adopted him and Roger Kovaciny, the Batman and Robin of the Norwegians.

Dr. Waldo Werning. LCMS. Known as Agent X at Christian News, Waldo never earned a real doctorate but always pretended, crowing like a rooster on a dunghill. His favorite dunghill was Fuller Seminary, and they rewarded him with a tin-plated title. He is honorary WELS because he spent so much time selling his Church Growth books to sect officials. WELS DMB chair Wally Oelhaven loved Werning's deep, deep theology and promoted Church Growth without shame or hesitation. Church and Change invited the wise old man of Church Growth to speak, but integrity prevailed for one, brief shining moment.

Dr. Kent Hunter, the Church Doctor. LCMS. He has a seminary degree from an ELCA seminary and a coveted D.Min. from Fuller Seminary. His books are so silly that he makes Werning look profound. They work together, probably trading newly discovered Church Growth principles over the Internet. Hunter was invited to be a key speaker for Church and Change, so he is also honorary WELS. Alas, his invitation was also canceled, but do not worry. He is definitely more popular in WELS than Martin Luther.