A Secretary is Not a Toy
Lyrics - From How To Succeed in Business Without Really Trying
Send “A Secretary is Not a Toy” Ringtone to Your Cell
Gentlemen. Gentlemen.
A secretary is not a toy,
No, my boy, not a toy
To fondle and dandle and playfully handle
In search of some puerile joy.
No, a secretary is not,
Definitely not, a toy.
You're absolutely right, Mr. Bratt.
We wouldn't have it any other way, Mr. Bratt.
It's a company rule, Mr. Bratt.
A secretary is not a toy,
No, my boy, not a toy.
So do not go jumping for joy, boy.
A secretary is not . . .
A secretary is not . . .
A secretary is not a toy.
A secretary is not to be
Used for play therapy.
Be good to the girl you employ, boy.
Remember no matter what
Neurotic trouble you've got
A secretary is not a toy.
She's a highly specialized key component
Of operational unity,
A fine and sensitive mechanism
To serve the office community.
With a mother at home she supports;
And you'll find nothing like her at FAO Schwarz.
A secretary is not a pet
Nor an e-rector set.
It happened to Charlie McCoy, boy:
They fired him like a shot
The day the fellow forgot
A secretary is not a toy.
A secretary is not a toy.
And when you put her to use . . .
Observe when you put her to use . . .
That you don't find the name "Lionel"
On her caboose.
A secretary is not a thing
Wound by key, pulled by string.
Her pad is to write in
And not spend the night in.
If that's what you plan to enjoy.
No!!
The secretary ya got,
Is definitely not
Employed to do a gavotte,
Or you know what.
Before you jump for joy,
Remember this, my boy,
A secretary is not
A tinkertoy!
---
Chastity's Contagious, posted at Christian Life Resources.
By Rev. Thomas H. Trapp, WELS Campus Pastor at the University of Wisconsin-Madison
Source: Beginnings, March 1989, Vol. 9, No. 1
Despite the age of this article, it is nevertheless included on this website for your information.
Chastity's contagious. Think of two people on a date. One insists on chastity; the other's going to practice it too. It's contagious! It's also 100 percent safe (as well as God-pleasing). But not everyone practices chastity. The result of unchaste living are STDs -- sexually- transmitted diseases. The U.S. Surgeon General reports that they are one of the great health threats to the American public today.
To protect people from STDs, school-based health centers and other government agencies are handing out condoms and other birth control items to students. Some public officials feel it's the solution to the problem. While the government's solution may be treating the symptom, it's not treating the root of the problem. The root of the problem of premarital and extramarital sex is not STDs but sexual intercourse. The best way to prevent STDs is to teach unmarried people to say "no" to sexual intercourse and "yes" to chastity.
But some will immediately object: "Our students are unable to say 'no' to sex. They must be given birth control devices." But isn't it peculiar that some of the same people who argue that youth are unable to say "no" to sexual intercourse feel that youth, however, are able to say "no" to drugs? Isn't it inconsistent? Don't young people have the same ability to say "no" to sex, as they have to say "no" to drugs? Non-Christians have the threat of disease, pregnancy and the fear of personal and emotional havoc to motivate them to say "no" to both sex and drugs, while Christians additionally have the power of God and the love of Christ behind them to say "no."
Why put our youth "down" as if they are incapable of saying "no" to actions that can harm them? And why, especially, put Christian young people "down" in whom God the Holy Spirit dwells? He can give them the power they need to respect their Godgiven bodies for whom Jesus died (1 Corinthians 6:18-20). Young people (as well as adults) can say "no" to the sin of premarital and extra-marital sex. And when they say "no," they can spread a different contagious "disease" -- a good one -- chastity.
---
History
In 1964 the WELS began an independent campus ministry near State and Gilman Streets. Our first campus pastor was Richard Balge who served during the riot years of 1964-1971 and who oversaw the construction of our 1966 Chapel-Student Center at 220 West Gilman Street. Dr. Wayne Schmidt, an accomplished musician, pastured [GJ - put the sheep out to pasture? or pastored?] the Chapel from 1971-1975. Paul Kelm, who became a professor at Wisconsin Lutheran College, ministered to students from 1976-1979. Thomas Trapp is the current campus pastor and came in October, 1979.
