Monday, December 28, 2009

Some Characteristics of WELS/ELS/Missouri Enthusiasm Centers - Church Growth Congregations





Gratuitous Animal Photo


  1. They avoid the name Lutheran whenever possible.
  2. They promote women's ordination and women usurping authority in the church.
  3. They count on cell groups to make them grow, sometimes demanding membership in one as a condition for membership in the church. Just like the Pietists.
  4. They love Reformed doctrine and attack any Lutheran who does not.
  5. They love every denomination except their own.
  6. They see the Sacraments as barriers to their success.
  7. They call those who love the pipe organ "legalists" but demand that the pipe organ never be used. 
  8. They imagine a jazz band will actually improve worship.
  9. They replace sermons with coaching, worship with entertainment.
  10. They take of their tummies during the Sunday embarrassment. Coffee and snacks are provided for the truly self-centered.
  11. They argue heatedly that love will convert people.
  12. They actually think growth depends on the amount of money spent, using "low" figures to shock people into spending oodles on silliness.
  13. They are spiritual tyrants in the parish but insubordinate in their own denominations.
  14. The ministers use their positions to support a degenerate lifestyle, taking advantage of the weak in their own congregations - preying upon them and demanding silence.