Men who teach the Word of God to their family go against the natural impulses of the world. The opportunities in the family are endless. Children are naturally curious and eager to learn, so they want to hear about the Word and they absorb lessons readily. The Small Catechism was written expressly for the training of children by the head of the household. The father can make that responsibility seem like taking out the garbage, mowing the lawn, and cleaning the basement, or he can show his children how he delights in the teaching of God, Psalm 1. The term law should not be interpreted as only the commands of God, but as the teaching of God, because that is the meaning of the Hebrew word torah. We might translate the phrase as follows: His delight is in the doctrine of the Lord.177
KJV Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful. 2 But his delight is in the law [torah] of the LORD; and in his law [torah] doth he meditate day and night. 3 And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. 4 The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away. 5 Therefore the ungodly shall not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous. 6 For the LORD knoweth the way of the righteous: but the way of the ungodly shall perish.
J-342
"Chastize them when they deserve it, but accompany the correction with affectionate words so that they do not become disheartened and expect nothing good from you. It is very bad if a son loves someone else more than his father. The father should give some sort of proof that there is no intention entirely to crush the child. The Law alone serves no good purpose; in fact, it is intolerable."
What Luther Says, An Anthology, 3 vols., ed., Ewald Plass, St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1959, I, p. 142. V. Dietrich, 1533. Ephesians 6:4.
J-343
"The first destroyers of their own children are those who neglect them and knowingly permit them to grow up without the training and admonition of the Lord. Even if they do not harm them by a bad example, they still destroy them by yielding to them. They love them too much according to the flesh and pamper them, saying: They are children, they do not understand what they are doing. And they are speaking the truth. But neither does a dog or a horse understand what it is doing. However, see how they learn to go, to come, to obey, to do and leave undone what they do not understand... These parents will, therefore, bear the sins of their children because they make these sins their own."
What Luther Says, An Anthology, 3 vols., ed., Ewald Plass, St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1959, I, p. 139. November, 1516 sermon Fourth Commandment.
J-344
"The apostle does not mean to say that children are not to be rebuked or beaten, but that they are to be chastised in love; but parents are not to vent their furious temper on them, unconcerned about the way to correct the error of their children. For when the spirit has been cowed, one is of no use for anything and despairs of everything, is timid in doing and undertaking everything. And, what is worse, this timidity, implanted during the tender years, can almost never thereafter be eradicated. For since they have learned to be frightened at every word of their parents, they are subsequently afraid of even a rustling leaf or a tree."
What Luther Says, An Anthology, 3 vols., ed., Ewald Plass, St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1959, I, p. 140.
Parents often become frustrated with the difficulty of raising their children. The cuddly baby turns into a ferocious two-year old in record time. This stage is a not a burden to be thrust onto child care providers, but a time for parents to help in a significant turning-point in the growth of a child. Children have their first impressive tantrums at the age of two (and even before), so the parents have a chance to teach their children self-control. We heard the child of one friend say in his evening prayers, “Forgive me Jesus for cying and frowing myself on the ground.” When self-control is not learned at the age of two, the tantrums are worse at age four. If the tantrums go unpunished, the teenage years turn children into angry tyrants who terrorize adults. When I was visiting an elderly person, her great-grandchild came home and announced grandly that she had told off the dean of students at her school with a stream of abuse she shared generously with me and the others. I tried to point out that being respectful would be far more fruitful, but I was talking to granite. I wondered what would happen to such a wild person.
J-345
"You see, then, that by nature all children are disobedient to father and mother. Therefore if a child is to honor father and mother from the bottom of its heart, as this Commandment requires, the Holy Spirit must bring this about through grace; nature is not equal to the task."
What Luther Says, An Anthology, 3 vols., ed., Ewald Plass, St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1959, I, p. 143. Exodus 20:12.
J-346
"Love toward their mother is not so great in children as the love of their mother toward them, as the proverb has it: Amor descendit, non ascendit, Love is a plant that grows downward rather than upward."
What Luther Says, An Anthology, 3 vols., ed., Ewald Plass, St. Louis: Concordia Publishing House, 1959, I, p. 138.
We can recognize the Old Adam in our children, even when they are so-called innocent children. Our daughter Bethany blew squash all over the face of her favorite nurse and then laughed. Bethany had a sheepish grin when I asked her if she used tantrums to get her way at the nursing home. Erin Joy learned to use the medical system to her advantage as well. One time she shrieked at the top of her lungs. Five nurses raced into her room. She grinned. She was lonely and wanted some company. When our granddaughter Josephine, at age two and a half, sat on a tricycle at the mall in Mankato, I strolled along with her while she toured the Sears store. Suddenly she raced out into the mall hallway, moving with a sense of purpose. Mystified, I followed her until she completed her transit of the second hallway. Then her beloved carousel appeared, with lights and music. She steadfastly set her face toward her goal, raced through the crowd, and jumped off the tricycle, getting on the carousel before I could pay. Since I wanted to be strict with her, I limited her to eight rides. However, when I tried to take her back to a meeting place to see her parents, I witnessed the fury of a two year old.
Children always view their mother as the sole obstacle standing in the way of their happiness. Sons can be very difficult at a younger age, daughters in their teen years. Nevertheless, love is not always expressed in hugs and kisses. Children do not want to give away how much they love their parents. In time this love becomes evident and the source of enormous happiness.
Grandparents
God rewards parents by making them grandparents in due time. Being a grandparent is like riding the best roller coaster in the world, with all the thrills and none of the fears. No one has invented a drug that will generate the excitement and contentment of one tiny grandchild, boy or girl. If a pharmaceutical company could package a fraction of the power of grandchildren, they would have a nation of contented but goofy people. People are nostalgic about the thrill of falling in love for the first time. They think they cannot recapture that feeling. They are wrong. Holding grandchildren, watching them play, talking gibberish with them, blowing a paycheck on their needs and desires: all this can make all the years collapse and the happy memories flood the mind. We remember the events that led up to this happy moment, the blessings of God, the warp and woof of the family genetic code. One of the greatest blessings of God is to see our children’s children.
KJV Psalm 128:1 Blessed is every one that feareth the LORD; that walketh in his ways. 2 For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hands: happy shalt thou be, and it shall be well with thee. 3 Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. 4 Behold, that thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the LORD. 5 The LORD shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. 6 Yea, thou shalt see thy children's children, and peace upon Israel.
KJV Psalm 103:17 But the mercy of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear him, and his righteousness unto children's children; 18 To such as keep his covenant, and to those that remember his commandments to do them.
KJV Proverbs 17:6 Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers.
