Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.
23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.
24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant.
25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.
26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
The liturgical purists do not like Mother's Day to be recognized but I see that one can find a major section of the Scriptures devoted to that topic.
This section of Proverbs is proof that no one reads this book of the Old Testament anymore. If they did, our country would be blessed by the everyday and spiritual wisdom of Proverbs. People would turn away from the advice columnists because of the disparity between the newsprint and the Bible.
Proverbs 31:10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
No one can argue this statement, because of all the unhappiness in America. The problem is not so much with women, in my opinion, but with the lack of support from men. We have endless numbers of males who procreate but relatively few who care to be fathers and husbands.
We were talking to a delightful young woman, and my wife asked her about marriage. She began to avoid the topic, and I said, "The men are still boys at your age." (about 23) And she said, "Yes, that is the problem."
And so many miss out on the delights of marriage while pursuing the delusion of endless youth and limited responsibility, as if living for another person is a horrible burden.
Virtuous is an interesting word in English. The word is based on the Latin word for man, so it meant manliness in the best sense. In general it means a collection of good habits and attitudes, a complex of fine things that yield good results. So this verse is more of a headline or theme for the passage that follows.
11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.
We cannot depend on good from many people. We can go to work and find that foolish and deceptive actions have damaged the lives of many people at once. One of my schools (UOP) just fired 500 people at once. Having a partner at home who is on the same side is an enormous benefit. Dealing with the difficulties of life is a terrible challenge alone. Sharing them is makes them so much easier to bear, and those challenges end up being fun, exhilarating, and even funny at times - often much later.
12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
A true partnership means always pulling in the same direction. That often means seeing the same situation from two perspectives and working out a good solution. As various tests have shown, we almost always marry our opposites in personality, even down to filling ice cube trays and arriving on time or late. We marry a different birth order most of the time:
First born perfectionists marry normal middle children or lovable babies. And then those parents identify with their children of the same birth order - first-borns back their first-born children. Middle the middle children, etc.
And if the couple thinks they are on the same wave-length, the cultural differences open up the gap with two sets of parents and the male-female differences.
Once I pointed out in an article that companion plants are also opposites. Grass is the opposite of dandelions in every possible way, so they grow well together. So the differences in partners is God's way of developing strengths rather than bumping up against annoying similarities. In business that is always true of successful partnerships, and those partnerships often end up splitting rather than realizing the strength of the differences. Rolls was a salesman and Royce was an engineer. Neither one could do the other's work, so together they built a great car.
My wife recognized the rose farmer in me, and she had two significant ideas about getting that going. She found a great bargain on TV, and that began the rose garden with 8 bargain roses. Chris insisted on those roses growing right outside the front door instead of where I wanted them, in the sunny garden. I agreed with her idea, and that was easily the best way, because we smell rose fragrance entering and leaving our home, every time we open the door. In addition, it became a soothing place for our dying neighbor who loved the roses and sat on the porch with Chris enjoying them.
Chris went along with 10 bargain roses, but wanted them around the maple tree. As my Moline friend said, "What? Under a maple tree? The roots!" Nor was he wrong in thinking about those tangled tough roots. It was not fun to dig those holes, and I normally enjoy that part. Every single excavation was a battle. And the roses struggled to get a good foothold while competing with maple tree needs during a summer of deluge and drought. This year, the maple tree rose garden merged with the main garden, and the effect is great. When we moved in, the maple tree area was an eyesore. Now it is a delight to see the whole area, and it delights our whole street. The neighbor ladies are getting roses for Mother's Day.
More significantly we have agreed about dealing with apostasy, which has been exciting, scary, costly, and rewarding all at the same time. No one had a script or a plan and yet the end result, which seemed like wasted years, is very worthwhile. Only the false teachers could have taught me to value Luther and the Book of Concord as much as I do. Every so often someone says, "Thank you for pointing me to Luther and the Confessions."
13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.
14 She is like the merchants' ships; she bringeth her food from afar.
15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.
16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.
17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms.
18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night.
19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
A family is a business. There are many ways it is organized, but people have to work, gather food, clean up, and earn money. God organized the entire world population to consist of families. They always fall into male-female partnerships, even if degenerate cultures (like ours) try to rewrite the rules, which are there for our good.
Wives and mothers work hard every day of the week, and they do it while worrying about the welfare of the family. Sometimes the wife has to be the wage-earner, though it works out better when she can fulfill more of the household responsibilities. Proverbs certainly sees the ideal woman as one who runs the family estate and agricultural business like a modern manager.
My wife said, "There is no money in sewing." She is an expert, the granddaughter of a tailor. I said, "Look at what you do not spend by doing your own mending and amending of clothes." She said, "True." Once when leg-warmers were the rage for little girls, she made them for all the girls in the church, and they were delighted. When my wife decided to learn jewelry making, it was slow going at first. But after gaining the skills and materials, she found people buying the jewelry off her when she went to dinner theater or even to the community college to teach the subject.
And another area is teaching. Mothers endlessly teach their children, lacking a receptive at times, but never ceasing. What seems so common and trivial is quite valuable later, as all my friends say, now that their mothers have passed away. My wife was trained as a German teacher, which was not a money-maker but something shared with our son in languages, which ended up mainly in computer languages after learning Latin, Greek, German, Spanish, and Hebrew. How does one measure this teaching mothers do?
Although the men are supposed to be spiritual leaders of their families, the wives and mothers often do their part when the men back away. It is too bad that the willingness of women has allowed men to back away. Children are so impressed when their fathers help with church, including teaching and helping with doctrinal matters.
20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.
This is another important virtue among wives and mothers, having compassion for those in need. My mother had passed away before I learned that she helped my best friend in 4th grade when his family had very little money from a layoff. A few people quietly gathered clothes and food for the family. No one at school knew, which would have been so embarrassing. That was an important stage in his life, because a gift started him on a career which he still has today. He finally told us all so we would think about how important those hand-me-downs and food items were for him and his family.
Providing help for others is also training for the children, so we have generations that care about others rather than letting the government do it for us at 10x the price.
The passage ends with these great verses:
28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.
29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.
30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.
31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
This ending is both describing and encouraging. The results of living as a wife and mother, faithful to the Word is praise from her husband and children as well. In fact, mothers and wives get their own passage of the Bible praising them, so it is not a thankless job. It just seems like it at times.
This is another example of God loving what the world despises, and God despising what the world loves. The more useless and wasted a woman is, the more she is praised and envied and copied by the world.
But that kind of fame is a lie. It is over so quickly that no one remembers the most famous ones in a few years. And we know that most of the beauty of the world consists of makeup and lighting.
God-fearing means God praises. The final judgment is not whether the unbelievers approve but whether the believing family upholds and strengthens this vital role with thanks as praise, as it ought to.
