One reader said he looked for daily updates to Ichabod. Fortunately, there is enough comedy material on Lutheran sites for hourly updates. My mortgage holder encourages me to make regular and timely payments, so I have to take a few breaks now and then, to work.
The WELS AnswerMan has touched my funny button again. The issue is plagiarism. What if the pastor is plagiarizing his sermons? I knew of a case where a WELS pastor gave sermons verbatim from a Church Growth source, copying the inflections and pauses. He was supposed to stop, but he could not resist. Eventually he left the ministry, even though he was a favorite of the Mission Counselors' Newsletter. Many of the favorites of WELS administrators have left the ministry or the Lutheran Church.
Plagiarism describes the work of Lutheran leaders for the last 30 years. In the 1960's there was excitement over Luther's works. The editor of The Northwestern Lutheran told me in 1987 that WELS used to have giant Reformation services in Milwaukee. They no longer did. The same editor loved Church Growth conferences and promoted them in his magazine.
Everything coming from various Lutheran headquarters is regurgitated from Fuller Seminary, which is only repeating what marketing experts have taught in business schools: demographics, market share, statistics, advertising schemes. For years I matched up Fuller sources with verbatim quotations from the LCMS and WELS. Then, with the audacity of hope, I quoted Luther on related topics. Now that really set them off at the Love Shack, 2929 N. Mayfield Road.
A side order of plagiarism is always available - the Lutheran Church aping the Roman Catholic Church. Notre Dame is the center of worship education in America. People earn doctorates in worship and move to influential positions in various denominations. Therefore, Roman worship is the gold standard of piety just as Communism is the gold standard of socialism.
I would rather be in a high church service choreographed by an atheist than a Church Growth Seeker Service run by an atheist - for one reason. If all the ancient traditions are followed (historic liturgy, historic Scripture readings, Creeds, Sacraments, a real sermon), then Christ is conveyed through the Means of Grace.
If the recruitment effort (Friendship Sunday, Seeker Service, Revival) is led by an atheist, the ultimate result will be Unitarian or atheistic, no matter how grand the goals. Even if the poor, deluded Church Growth minister is a believer, the final results will be the same. Sowing weed seed will only yield a luxurious growth of weeds.
Let me offer one example. I received a large postcard in the mail. On one side were huge letters proclaiming: SEX, MONEY, POWER. On the other side, the card said, "Now that we have your attention, please accept our invitation to Blah Blah Community Church." The people who responded to this attack on their intelligence and emotional maturity would go up to the minister on Sunday, saying, "Oh we just had to attend a church that was so clever. You really got our attention."
The poor devil would be grinning like his Father Below at his grand schemes. More tricks would follow to keep the place going. Success (if it does happen) would follow the content of the message - pure Me-ism. What if all the methods failed? The poor devil is crushed. He did his best, earned his Fuller degree, went to seminars at Willow Creek, listened to tapes from C. Peter Wagner in his car. Now what? He says to his soul, "Soul, the only thing left is teaching staff ministry!" Or he joins the synod staff to lead others along the same path of plagiarism.
Here are some examples of Fuller-plagiarism from the WELS Home Office:
- Friendship Sunday
- Seeker Services
- Getting Rid of the Denomination's Name Wherever Possible (FIC, CW, CrossWalk)
- Pit Bands in the Chancel
- Hiding the Communion Service So Visitors Are Not Offended
- Pep Talks Replacing Sermons
- Replacing the Organ with a Piano (a freak-out aping Willow Creek)
- Puppet Shows
- Staff Ministry So Women Can Be Called Ministers
- Cell/Share/Care/Koinonia Groups
Nothing shows more hatred of the Lutheran Church and the doctrine of Christ than these plagiarized efforts. And yet, the Home Office drones condemn anyone who sees through their sabotage as Unloving and Hurting the Church (Damaging Our Salary Potential).
