Monday, December 28, 2009

Some Characteristics of WELS/ELS/Missouri Enthusiasm Centers - Church Growth Congregations





Gratuitous Animal Photo


  1. They avoid the name Lutheran whenever possible.
  2. They promote women's ordination and women usurping authority in the church.
  3. They count on cell groups to make them grow, sometimes demanding membership in one as a condition for membership in the church. Just like the Pietists.
  4. They love Reformed doctrine and attack any Lutheran who does not.
  5. They love every denomination except their own.
  6. They see the Sacraments as barriers to their success.
  7. They call those who love the pipe organ "legalists" but demand that the pipe organ never be used. 
  8. They imagine a jazz band will actually improve worship.
  9. They replace sermons with coaching, worship with entertainment.
  10. They take of their tummies during the Sunday embarrassment. Coffee and snacks are provided for the truly self-centered.
  11. They argue heatedly that love will convert people.
  12. They actually think growth depends on the amount of money spent, using "low" figures to shock people into spending oodles on silliness.
  13. They are spiritual tyrants in the parish but insubordinate in their own denominations.
  14. The ministers use their positions to support a degenerate lifestyle, taking advantage of the weak in their own congregations - preying upon them and demanding silence.


Advance Warning for Chicaneries






29th Biennial Convention of the
Arizona-California District of the
Wisconsin Evangelical Lutheran Synod
June 14-16, 2010

 
Convention Flow Chart

Downloadable version in pdf

Monday, June 14, 2010
Morning
11:00 a.m.      Opening Communion Service at King of Kings Lutheran Church,
Apache Junction, Arizona
Afternoon
1:30 p.m.        Start of afternoon session
District President’s report
Elections begin and continue through the convention
2:00 p.m.        Keynote address and discussion—Part I 
“The Theology of the Cross”
Rev. Daniel M. Deutschlander
Professor Emeritus, Martin Luther College, New Ulm, Minnesota


How Many WELS Congregations
Avoid the Name Lutheran?
List Them Here




Display in the WELS Holy Spirit Room

The Conference of Pussycats advised congregations that it was wrong to avoid the Lutheran name. They were in a weak position, of course.
  1. The WELS leaders took Lutheran away from magazine masthead, making it non-Lutheran in appearance. The Tell-It-Not-in-Gath folks just lost that round, with the name restored.
  2. WELS changed from The Lutheran Hymnal to Christian Worship. I know Lutheran is in the sub-title, but no other Lutheran hymnal has dodged the name in the main title. Does anyone say something other than "Christian Worship"?
  3. WELS Lutherans For Life formed separately because it was a sin, a sin I tell ya, to work with Missouri. Real estate mogul Robert Fleischman changed the name to Christian Life Resources, so no one knows it is pro-life and Lutheran. CLR works with all denominations now, especially twenties, fifties, and c-notes.

DisHonor Roll - NonLutheran WELS Congregations

Floyd Luther Stolzenburg advised WELS on Church Growth:
how to start a stealth mission - Pilgrim!

  • Pilgrim Community Church, Columbus, Ohio, started by VP Paul Kuske, Floyd Luther Stolzenburg, and Roger Zehms. RIP. One announcement from Zehms/Stolzenburg included - "Standing where Luther stood." Indeed.


Mark Freier is now a life-coach
He has performed marriages for atheists and Hindoos, 
catered events, and damaged several churches.



  • CrossRoads Community Church, S. Lyons, Michigan, started with the blessing of DP Robert Mueller and VP Kuske, misled by Rick Miller, Mark Freier, Kelly Voigt. RIP Thriving as an Evangelical Covenant Church. And they used to thank the WELS pastors for getting them started. Pastor Joe has omitted those words from this page. Ichabod effect? I think so.


    Jeff Gunn's websty is a marvel to behold.


    Feel the buzz at Crosswalk?




No room for Lutheran on the Crossroads, Chicago banner?

John [Hoh],
Thands (sic) for illustrating so well some key issues we face as we consider how best to communicate the message entrusted to us. You mentioned previously that you used these illustrations in your presentation at the recent Church and Change Conference. I wasn't able to make your session (there were way too many "must-attend" offerings at this conference). Do you have materials/handouts that you could post or otherwise make available for those who missed it?
Mike Borgwardt, Crossroads Church, Chicago. [Secret Church and Change list-serve.]




  • Christ the Rock, Round Rock, Texas. $50,000 a year for Gretchen, plus the pastor's salary and benefits. Attendance - about 30. Blog - Rock and Roll (RIP).


Ski cuddled with MariQueen, Playboy model and alleged singer.
---
Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "How Many WELS Congregations Avoid the Name Luthera...":

Few pastors can or will walk in the footsteps of Christ the way Ski does. More power to him. Lesser pastors fear taking the Word to the dens of iniquity the way Ski does. In time we can expect Ski’s trophy pictures to include escorts, strippers, and street walkers.

---

  • The CORE.
    Ski, Glende, and Katie run off to Schwaermer conferences, like Drive, Dirt, Story, Catalyst, and Granger Community. Cost - $250,000 in less than a year. Results - 9 members, including transfers from a local WELS church. 

  • Latte Church, aka http://www.casualaboutchurch.org/ aka St. Andrew, Waunakee. Gushingly promoted in FIC, St. Andrew has a woman who "administers the Means of Grace."
  • Coffee is apparently a Means of Grace at Latte Church.
---


Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "How Many WELS Congregations Avoid the Name Luthera...":

In regards to the life coach, the trajectory is pathetic, albeit predictable. Semi-spiritual terminology is mated to crass humanism: "missional and mission statements", "kairos moments", etc. It is shameless self-absorbtion and utter nonsense. The website mentions Henri Nouwen as a mentor? Egaaads! Let this serve as a warning to all how swiftly one generation can suffer shipwreck when it casts off its moorings.


***

Nouwen


GJ - I truly doubt that Father Henri Nouwen "mentored" Mark Freier. I knew Nouwen at Yale, but I did not take his classes. I knew students who did, and they never tried to claim some special status. I suggest that "P Boy" read The Wind in the Willows and try to imitate the truly repentant Toad of Toad Hall. Mark earned his nickname in WELS, but I will let others explain it.

---

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "How Many WELS Congregations Avoid the Name Luthera...":

Every day we DON'T hear from the synod prez or others in charge that they are investigating and putting a stop to Ski's shenanigans, is another day the WELS slips closer and closer to losing this member. I wonder what Mrs. Ski thinks about his pictures with poptarts? From the looks of this picture, I get the impression he doesn't much care. He's proud enough to post this where all can see. I think the CORE is the first place the synod should start the cleanup and go from there.

Will Patterson Campaign for DP by Bragging about Rock and Roll Church?





At this address:

There is a map, too, but I got tired of fussing with the graphics. Look it up on Google Maps. The websty would be a lot more interesting, but Kudu Don Patterson forced it down to one page so he could run for DP without too many more pratfalls. Ichabod's fault. Sorry folks. I can link y'all to about 100 other identical Schwaermer sites. Seriously.




3300 E Palm Valley Blvd
Round Rock, TX 78665
Phone 512-470-2133

Sunday Worship Gathering: 10 am

CHRISTMAS SCHEDULE AT CTR
Thursday, December 24, 6:30pm
Christmas Eve Service of Song and Hope  <==A few days ago!

Sunday, December 27, 10am
Service of Bible Lessons and Christmas Carols  <==Yesterday! They need a grant, please. Ask Joe to stop blogging and help with the giant one-page websty. Updating takes so long.

Happy Reader






Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "The Other Side of the Two-Headed Calf Is Mooing, T...":

This stuff is weird. I had no idea, thanks for the info.
cw



Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Some Eastern Orthodoxy Scenes":

ROFL, I almost spewed my coffee out onto my computer, really.

I'm still plowing through the archives, really good stuff here, thanks again.


Church and Chicanry on Security Lock-Down!
DefCon 5! Batten Down the Hatches!
The Power of the Word




Patterson sponsored a pagan Easter egg hunt at his church.
I am sure he was not the Easter bunny. PETA would never allow it.

WELS pastors used to worry about Parcher posting in Christian News, but that was a limited audience, and few people keep their copies for long. Now they get Ichabod every time they Google anything about WELS. That is also true for hundreds of pictures and graphics. Try that at home, fellow students. Someone said, "It's incredible the power your blog has throughout the WELS."
  1. Doebler dismantled his website on orders from Patterson and Gurgle. 
  2. Patterson has locked down his Facebook so that his safari adventures aren't exposed. 
  3. Patterson's church website announcements haven't been updated in several months either. 
  4. The Southern Babtist Central District will no longer post their minutes/reports on the district site. 
  5. Names of key Chicaneries are being dropped from board listings. 
  6. The Changers are finally recognizing that the Internet postings and sites reveal a clear picture of their pan-denominational Rock and Roll church agenda.
Joe, Tim, Larry, Moe, Curly - I thought no one read Ichabod.



Gurgle is definitely mentoring Patterson as his campaign for South Central DP gets underway.
This is an obvious PhotoShop because Patterson will not post of photo of them working together.




Who sent you? Ichabod? Get away!


Joe Krohn's English Matches His Theology




Joe Krohn, aka LutherRocks, aka ex-Rockmeister at
the Doebler/Patterson Emerging Church in Round Rock.



LutherRocks has left a new comment on your post "Not Sure If Your Ears Can Handel This Cacophony fr...":

What about a song that has solid Lutheran (sic - missing word) and rocks and is done well? Hmmmm?

***

GJ - Joe Krohn is shy about using his own name on Ichabod, but he always used it on the secret Church and Change list-serve. He went to at least one conference and wrote often, gushingly without discernment.

I found the photo above on Facebook, but he is much more secretive again. When he published his short-lived Rock and Roll Church blog, he was shy about his identity too. In an unusual display of modesty, he erased all his files.

I have compiled all the Chicanery conversations that were sent to me by various sources. Since then the Slinkers have gone to their secret Yahoo groups, after discovering their security was as good as Northwest Airlines.

If you want the Word file, write me an email. I will email the attachment in a plain, brown wrapper. The document is about 300 pages long. Those hot-air merchants never stop talking - in secret.


---

Brett Meyer has left a new comment on your post "Joe Krohn's English Matches His Theology":

Joe considers a Quia subscription to the Lutheran Confesssions to be cultish. Here are a few of Joe's quotes from the New Age Church and Change discussions:

I have been following this Dr. Sweet thread and it's morphs with great interest. This is a great example of the verse "iron sharpens iron" a pastor friend of
mine uses quite often....But you have to remain relevant in today’s society and if we need to bring in someone who can help us, I say go for it! When I see churches like Lakewood in Houston buy the old Omni because of their growth, or Saddleback in California, or Chandler Christian Church right in my back yard buying up chunks of real estate to expand, I think they must be doing something right!! I would never approve of their theologies, but hey, why can’t we take what they are doing right and graft it on our theology? We’re pretty proud of our theology aren’t we? At least that’s the impression I get from this list. We have to get proactive. I fear our Synod has waited too long. At times I grieve for WELS. We just need to get as evangelical as the Evangelicals are and be
like it says in our name: Wisconsin EVANGELICAL Lutheran Synod.
God Bless you all!
Joe Krohn


Hello All!
It was great to be in Minneapolis last week! I found the experience uplifting and inspiring. May God continue to bless us, alot!!! In regards to praying with other Christians. I have struggled with this, especially in light of what happened at our conference and was alluded to in a previous post. As far as our Synod's stance on fellowship, I get it. I agree on most points. But this prayer thing. It just seems that on many fellowship issues, we hold on to them and drive them so deep, that we offend. Then who is throwing obstacles in the way of other Christians and causing division? I was one who prayed along with Dr. Ben Freudenburg's prayer and felt that I did no wrong. I have mixed feelings about how some of my WELS brothers and sisters may feel about this(and me). I have read the passages that our Synod bases it's practices on. Quite frankly, I don't see the relevance in this circumstance. Those passages to me clearly define examples that are much more serious than praying with someone who is much, much more like me in faith than different. I understand that we should be careful. If we relax on some point, then it will be much easier on the next issue and so on.....and soon we find we've compromised everything away. But, what about that beautifully crafted devotion that Pastor Henkel gave about counting kernels and steps? We mustn't be so quick to judge. A worship service wasn't being conducted. There was no communion given. There were no baptisms. Sometimes I think that if one believes in Christ crucified, the Triune God and being baptized is THE way home, that should be good enough, especially when we KNOW that fellow believer is more, MUCH more like us than different.
In His Peace,
Joe Krohn

Dear Pastor (Bob) Gurgel,
I like the name change idea. At times I have wondered this: I love my/our Lutheran heritage. However, to an outsider that has merely looked at us and other churches superficiously (sic), I wander what they think. We talk about holding to the Lutheran Confessions, the Augsburg Confession, what is contained in The Book of Concord. The Mormons hold to The Book of Mormon and the teachings of their forefathers. Other churches I would guess have their sources/standards by which they base their doctrines. Some of it sounds cultish. I like the Followers of Jesus, because THAT is who we are. NOT followers of Luther. And wasn't it Luther who urged his successors NOT to call themselves Lutherans? Luther ALWAYS pointed to where he was coming from. The Word of God.
Have a Blessed Christmas Season everyone!!!
Joe Krohn

***

GJ - Hi Joe. See my new post on Church and Chicanery Lock-downs. It will be up when I get done laughing.

I spoke a number of times with Arizona-California-Las Vegas district pastors. They have not accepted CrossBalk as a WELS congregation and do not plan to accept it. There are many doctrinal issues with Jeff Gunn, former poster boy of Church and Change. The lack of Holy Communion is one. I also heard that CrossBalk is being kicked out of ALA because of the sect's alien status. Besides, CrossBalk is low on money now that outside gifts are not coming in - not exactly a roaring success. All the Chicaneries have their trotters in the feed-trough, but the slop is running dry now. Some may have to work for a living.

Too bad Gunn could not get himself hired at Willow Creek Wisconsin Lutheran College. But all of you cult member should be happy that Ski-buddy Buske has the divine call to develop Pietistic cell groups there. Unfortunately, the campus tells me that the college students want serious, liturgical worship there, not more clown acts.

---

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Joe Krohn's English Matches His Theology":

pastorless Jerkson says:

"Unfortunately, the campus tells me that the college students want serious, liturgical worship there, not more clown acts."

That is a real knee-slapper! Nobody tells Jerkson anything. He makes it up and then claims he has sources. I haven't had a laugh like this since I saw a picture of mrs. jerkson.

***

GJ - There are far worse comments than the one posted above, but I wanted to let WELS discern the quality of support Church and Change receives on a daily basis. No wonder they have to beg for financial subsidies from the district, synod, Thrivent, and foundations like Antioch. Socially backward people have trouble holding on to jobs, wives, families, and sound doctrine. Where do neglected and abused children go when they grow up? Read the anonymous comment above.


---

Brett Meyer has left a new comment on your post "Joe Krohn's English Matches His Theology":

Joe Krohn mentions that he prayed along with Dr. Ben Freudenburg (LCMS) at the Church and Change gathering. Freudenburg also spoke at this NACC gathering of Emergent New Age church growth mentors, http://www.christianstandard.com/pdfs/488.pdf. Note on the second page, Meet God in Worship, "The Desert will provide a different way to commune with God—alone. The Desert is a prayer labyrinth that will be set up in a private area of the convention center, offering a place for individuals to slip away for guided prayer, meditation, and reflection. In the midst of a jam-packed convention, there will be a quiet place for solitude." This is a popular New Age practice which is designed to allow the participant to experience and meet with god outside of Scripture and the Sacraments. This is a communion with the devil and his demons packaged in an appealing wrapper. ELCA states, "Thinking deeply about a passage of scripture while you walk is an excellent way to discover the meaning of God’s word and how it can be applied to your life." "A prayer labyrinth is an ancient tool for reflection on one’s life and spiritual journey. It is an active way of praying because it forces a person to use their whole self (mind, body, and spirit) in prayer, inviting the use of imagination, intuition, and creativity. A labyrinth introduces the idea of a wide and generous path to God, one that is horizontal instead of vertical. It is hoped that walking the labyrinth may bring peace, comfort, clarity, relief from stress, a sense of closeness to God, and new insights and perspectives on problems or questions in your life."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Prayer_labyrinth

http://www.lcms.org/pages/internal.asp?NavID=6641

http://www.sundayschoollessons.com/ftlab.htm

http://www.nazarethlutheran.org/prayer-labyrinth/

http://www.gracewoodstock.org/prayers.htm


Does WELS Evangelism Mean Teaching New Age Philosophies?


WELS Pastor Mike Borgwardt went to a Leonard Sweet performance
and loved it. Who paid for that? WELS?

Brett Meyer has left a new comment on your post "Beauty and Value of the Wedge Issue":

The primary wedge issue in the false gospel of Universal Objective Justification. It is a New Age doctrine that has been driven into the Lutheran Synods, hearts and minds. Most do not seem to mind the cold blade on their shoulders. By the grace of God some do.

The continued dabbling in the New Age, Emergent church, doctrines by the Church and Change folks continues to feed the problem. Compare the UOJ doctrine taught in the best selling New Age book The Shack with the WELS UOJ doctrine. They are exactly the same. Here are the C&C quotes on this issue:

---

"Thanks for the hint. I heard _____(Leonard Sweet) speak at an "emerging church" conference
this year and he didn't disappoint. Great choice!"
Michael Borgwardt [GJ - WELS Stealth Congregation, Chicago]

---

"Full disclosure - this is Joel Kluender speaking - not Jennifer, my wife. I've been following the thread on Leonard Sweet and his being invited by some WELS congregations to the Church and Change conference. I have taken a look at his book online and I must say that what I have found is extremely disturbing.

****Here is a direct quote from his book Quantum Spirituality.
"What tradition supposes Wesley to have discovered at Aldersgate is that Logos is an energy-releasing event. Energy flows are absolutely indispensable to the emergence of life, whether biological or
spiritual.ý Just as farmers are said to provide only 5 percent of the energy necessary to produce crops--the energy of nature provides the other 95 percent--so general reason or logos provides only the energy of receptivity in the divine-human encounter that leads to Logos . God provides the rest by other means." (p. 68)
***And here is another quote:
"But the energy of divine love was assembled in matter in the human form of the Logos-Christ. Jesus is God's most sublime manifestation of energy matter" (p.64)
And here is my (Joel's) response:
THESE ARE NOT JUST THE INERT, BENIGN MUSINGS ABOUT GOD BY A PHILOSOPHER FASCINATED WITH PHYSICS. THESE ARE FALSE DOCTRINE! IN THESE QUOTES SWEET HAS TAKEN THE CLEAR AND CONCRETE TEACHING OF THE INCARNATE CHRIST, AND COUCHED IT IN NEW-AGE THEOLOGY MASQUERADING AS "NEW LIGHT".
TO TEACH THAT WE HAV ANY PART IN OUR CONVERSION GOES AGAINST THE
CLEAR TEACHING OF SCRIPTURE. THAT IS WHAT THE FIRST QUOTE DOES -
SUGGESTING THAT OUR logos OR REASON PROVIDES 5% AND THE OTHER 95% COMES FROM GOD. BLASPHEMY!
THE SECOND QUOTE THAT JESUS IS "GOD'S MOST SUBLIME MANIFESTATION OF ENERGY MATTER" IS TANTAMOUNT TO DENYING THE ETERNAL DIVINITY OF CHRIST. JESUS IS NOT A "MANIFESTATION" OF GOD. JESUS IS GOD. IN SUMMARY, IF A SPEAKER WHO ESPOUSES THESE VIEWS IS BEING WELCOMED INTO WELS CIRCLES, THERE IS A MAJOR PROBLEM IN THE WELS. FOR THE RECORD, I AM AN ELECTRICAL ENGINEER, WITH A MASTERS DEGREE IN MICROELECTRONICS, AND I HAVE TAKEN GRADUATE COURSES IN QUANTUM PHYSICS. WHAT THIS GUY IS TEACHING IS NOT QUANTUM PHYSICS, IT IS BIBLICAL HERESY. ROMANS 6:23 AND JOHN 3:16 SAY MORE OF WORTH TO US AS CHRISTIANS THAN ALL OF THE QUANTUM PSYCHO-BABBLE IN THE WORLD. WE IN WELS SHOULD WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT."
Joel Kluender

***

GJ - Once again I have to ask, "Why spend Lutheran money to spread something decidedly anti-Lutheran and anti-Christian?"

I cannot bear to reprint Sweet's self-worshiping bio, so I will link it here. (If you are a Church and Change member, left click the blue line. If you went to Fuller, ask someone to help you.)

Paul Calvin Kelm backed the Sweet Church and Change conference, but he refused to discuss it with his own fellow pastors. Nothing was ever done about Kelm's doctrine or his union membership in Willow Creek - with John Parlow and St. Mark Depere.

Meanwhile, ELCA members are looking for a genuine Lutheran church, not a cheap imitation of a circus founded upon New Age Eastern Polytheism.

Beauty and Value of the Wedge Issue





Someone congratulated me for dealing with ELCA instead of the Chicaneries in WELS. They belong to the same tribe. ELCA is just a few months ahead of the Church and Change agenda. Those who get on the Pietism-Enthusiasm-CGM bandwagon are most likely to stop at Atheist Alley for a long stay.

ELCA was born in Pietism, fermented with political activism, and calcified with the quota system. Only radicals can have a say in ELCA today.

Wedge issues work well in dividing and destroying churches. First there is a little tolerance requested humbly, as Augustine noted. Next, the wedge issue asks for an equal say, as a matter of justice. Once established, the wedge issue assumes total dominance as the only possible answer to the situation. Any other position is ridiculed. Any person representing the traditional viewpoint is pilloried.

No matter how absurd and anti-Biblical the wedge issue, it will divide families, friendships, congregations, and synods. Bureaucrats dodge topics that may divide, so the wedge issue always wins.


Strange New Tolerance in ELCA





I will try to explain this situation for those blessed by non-membership in ELCA.

ELCA met in August and took the final step toward anything-goes ordination and partnering in the parsonage. But that was done under the local option motto. Supposedly the ELCA bishop of the area could decide whether or not to ordain or approve the call of people with alternative concepts of marriage. Just as America still has some dry counties, by vote, so ELCA would have some straight districts, by vote. ELCA follows the LCA in having synods within synods, so I have called the little ones districts.

Northeast Iowa decided to make a move toward rescinding the latest ELCA move, so consternation has followed. The homosexual activists want a clean sweep of all regions. Seminarians are already vowing to refuse calls to Northeast Iowa if the district refuses to loosen up. But alas, too many Iowans have come on down to the farm:






Oddly, the bishop's son has a blog where this conflict is being aired, along with the publication of daddy's letter. The son is a youth pastor and clearly sides with the offended who want to open up Northeast Iowa to their pan-sexuality.

Daddy bishop's expressed role is to continue the conversation and all that blather. Believe in the process, for the process will justify. That may give many Iowans the creepy feeling that NE Iowa's ruling board will find itself flanked by the allegedly neutral bishop.

I understand that bishops also move obliquely in the game of chess.

---

News article on NE Iowa opposition.


---
Pretty Good Lutherans:

In declining to state a position on partnered gays in the ministry, Ullestad is following in position of ELCA Presiding Bishop Mark Hanson. He, too, has refused to take a public stance and claimed his role was to be a neutral moderator of the issue.

Since the national assembly decision, some gay and lesbian clergy told Pretty Good Lutherans that it’s time for Hanson to break his silence.

“Neutrality makes no sense to me,” said Pastor Megan Rohr of San Francisco. “He speaks out on other justice issue, but he doesn’t talk about this as a justice issue.”

She added: “One of the number one requirements of a pastor in the ELCA is that they (sic) speak in favor of justice.”

From Mothers Against Drunk Democrats - The Senator Who Gave Us Cuban Health Care