One Lutheran pastor jumped me on Facebook with this irrelevant comment, "You quit a number of synods."
I pointed out that I was a member of just as many as St. Al Barry - four. He was part of the orthodox Lutherans that had their school in a church basement. He also went to seminary at Bethany (ELS) and vicared in WELS. He ended up in the LCMS, for a total of four (4) synods.
St. Al Barry's hagiography does not mention the other three, the last time I looked at the Concordia Historical Institute websty. The CHI exists to hide the facts about their founding, so the bio is consistent.
Yesterday I ended up on the page of that pastor who jumped me. He was raised in WELS, graduated from Martin Luther College (WELS) and quit to become a Missouri Synod pastor. That was a wise choice for anyone with an IQ above room temperature, but how can two synod memberships be superior to four? Is there a break point where virtue becomes sin? According to Mark Jeske, one is even better than two, although he is really a member of four-at-once as a Thrivent board member and money-disperser.
Let us go back to the ancient past, when I joined the LCA and the merger was as fresh as the saucy comments on Facebook.
Salem, Moline - We sang Lutheran hymns, chanted the liturgy (SBH 2 - the best ever), and heard Biblical sermons.
St. Peter, Kitchener - Ditto, but we stood for every verse of every hymn. I vicared there. It was the largest Lutheran church in Canada, but now has attendance of less than 200 per Sunday.
We did not have liturgical dancers in church. We did not have praise bands or movie screens. The clergy were vested rather than wearing Hawaiian shirts or their lawn-mowing outfits.
What changed?
Here are the characteristics of the typical Assemblies of God church. Check them off if you have seen them at a WELS, ELS, or LCMS church - uh - gracepoint, core, or other lutheranchurch-avoiding name:
Stage instead of a chancel.
A small table - no altar.
No communion rail - horrors!
Praise Band set up on the stage, with a forest of mikes and a snazzy snare drum set.
Movie screen for songs, although the congregation sings very little.
No pulpit, so the minister can prowl around the stage, perhaps clown around among the spectators.
No robes of any kind.
Touch me, melt me, emote me songs - not hymns.
No pipe organ - burn it with fire!
Coaching talk - about me and us - rather than a sermon.
No liturgy, no creed, no pericopes.
Coffee bar outside the worship or performance area.
