Answers to the Ashes Ashes Test

ELCA Seminary Shrinkage

Objective Justification and Church Growth

1. Gettysburg-Philly finally merged and went into cat-fight mode over their female Presbyterian president schocking heterosexual past, hidden from the screaming wenches in the student body. Worst new seminary name? - United Lutheran. Hahahaha.
2. LSTC, a merger of seven seminaries, was ordered to raise about $100 million or lose their accreditation. So tiny.
3. Luther in St. Paul is selling off land to stay solvent.
4. Trinity in Columbus (Hamma-Cap merger) moved into portable classroom at the university after $40-80 million in lawsuits from ordaining a known predator. That is diversity in action!
5. Southern Seminary was multi-denominational but so weak they moved onto a college campus. 
6. Pacific in Berkeley was high over the Pacific Ocean, but sold out to Muslims so they could rent some office space and join the multi-denominational grad school union. So much to share with so few!

 They believe the Holy Spirit is locked in a closet - but watch out when She gets loose. They know all about loose - loose doctrine, loose budgets, loose everything.

Briner: (Southwestern Texas Synod) has some of the fastest-growing cities in the entire U.S. along the corridor of San Antonio to Austin and beyond. We have people of all ages moving in, but they’re not generally coming to church. So we have an incredible opportunity there, but a lot of it is thinking about how are we different. We’ve become a really settled people who have become very comfortable with the way we’ve always done things. So trying to figure out, how do we be open to the Spirit and be open to the Spirit’s work? Because I’m telling you what, the Spirit is up to something …

Bishops: Amen. Yes, she is.

Ashes Ashes We All Fall Down TEST

1. The seminary is old but going downhill fast in enrollment. - Both LCMS seminaries, Mequon, all ELCA seminaries.
2. The school may be in name only, because the total enrollment is 1, 2, or even 0 students.  - ELDONA, Bethany ELS, CLC (sic).
3. The faculty members are not scholars faithful to the Word, but safe teachers who will indoctrinate the students in worshiping the denomination. - WELS, ELS, LCMS
4. The early history of the school is forgotten or ignored, because a few people with very little money taught the basics of their denomination's doctrine. WELS-LCMS are lying about OJ being their original doctrine.
5. The seminary now teaches the opposite of what the early professors taught - not only in the ELCA - but also in the LCMS and WELS. - ELCA, WELS, LCMS
6. Enormous sums of money have been spent to remodel the buildings, but the students are expected to pile on debt to keep the seminary going. LCMS-WELS-Schwan
7. The school is selling off assets, including the main campus, to keep going. ELCA
8. The school teaches Church Growth and universal salvation. ELCA-WELS-LCMS-ELS-CLC (sic)
9. Scandals and crimes are covered up, but dissent from the new radical dogma is treated as a scandalous felony. ELCA-WELS-ELS-CLC (sic)

 10. When the Invasion of the Body Snatchers reminds you of your own synod. - All of them.