Monday, November 28, 2011

Mr. Squirrel Smiled at Me.
Squirrels 11, Humans 0



I was looking for snack food at Sam's Club and saw an enormous bag of peanuts in the shell. I thought that might be fun to eat, a little at a time. Once home, I was tempted to put a few peanuts on the window ledge.

Every so often I put a few out and closed the window. Birds and squirrels quickly adapt to random food and come looking for it. Soon I had three small squirrels stopping by to look for food. Sassy Sue got used to the traffic.

I was careful to open the window a little bit, push some peanuts out, and close it again. I was concerned about the squirrel getting into the room, revving Sassy, and racing around the house in a panic. I was even more concerned about my wife's reaction to such an event and the inevitable growth of the tale afterward.

I saw a lot of squirrel traffic one day, so I edged the window up an inch. Just as I pushed a peanut out, a squirrel came by and grabbed it. The saucy little thing sat on the ledge and ate it, smiling. The picture above is not mine. I really saw the squirrel smile.

They are all laughing at me. I got the squirrel-proof bird feeder to prevent them from looting the seed. I added the baffle for $13.50 to keep them from climbing the pole, once they learned to get at the feeder and pump the bar. Soon they stood on the baffle to pump the bar.

This squirrel is demonstrating how to use the bar to jiggle seed.
Why sit on it and close off an abundant supply of sunflower seeds?

I let the worthless baffle slip down to the ground. Now the squirrels climb the pole, hold on with one front leg, and pump the bar with the other front leg. I have also seen them pump the bar with both front legs. Rather that keep them from eating, the bar serves to jiggle seed into their mouths.

They are more entertaining now. First the bar jiggle is fun to watch. Squirrels are athletic and inventive. They can get at the feeder from every angle. The second part is fun, too. They get a few seeds, jump over to the ledge, and eat while keeping an eye on me while I work or watch.

A chipmunk has climbed up to the ledge to eat, but he simply stuffs his mouth with as many seeds as possible, and leaves. He must have figured out that the ledge was more productive than the ground where he got the scattered seed.

Sassy Sue's window is next to me and behind the bed. She parks at the window and watches over her neighborhood. She is quite upset when a chipmunk comes up to the secondary feeder below her window. She also watches for the fox that seems to appear from time to time. Then Sassy bays like a German Shepherd, "The fox is here, come to kill us all." The Shelties join the chorus, "Kill us all. Kill us all."

Treasure smiles when she is looking for food,
for attention she lifts up one front paw.

If the UPS truck drives up, Sassy bays again, "The UPS driver is here, come to kill us all." The Shelties add to the noise. "All, All. He will kill us all."

If someone rings the bell and waits for me, Sassy runs to the door and barks at it, warning whoever is ringing that she will defend the entire house. She races to me, "Hurry. Hurry. You open the door. I will attack at once." I open the door and Sassy wiggles outside for petting and a greeting. Everyone loves her at once.

At the dog park I warn people that she is loud but gentle. The only problem has been with large, intimidating dogs. I have decided to leave when a pit bull is present. Those dogs are gifted with muscle and no brain.

Sassy is just starting to learn dog racing. Most breeds love to chase around the park, but they cannot catch a ball or bring it back. One mutt spent about 30 minutes deciding what a ball was before stealing Sassy's. The bright orange ball is magical to the other dogs, because Sassy catches it, gets applause, and brings it back while everyone talks about her. The dogs ignore 10 balls on the ground for Sassy's magical toy.

Sassy Sue watches me while I work, clamping down on my
right arm when she wants attention.
When I give up, she rolls over and laughs.
"Tummy rub time."