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| Mark Jeske, Thrivent, and a foundation dripping with money have gathered ELCA pastors together to teach LCMS and WELS clergy how to make their congregations grow or glow or be as cool as he is. |
When I posted about ELCA having 600 pastoral vacancies, someone offered the fact of Fuller Seminary closing all their extension campuses. Local Fuller cells allowed pastors to study toward a coveted DMin (pronounced demon) from Fuller without leaving Dubuque, Des Moines, or Davenport.
Gimmick evangelism has been promoted a long time. The Methodists and copy-cats had Mother's Day, Father's Day, Veterans' Day, Lodge Day, Grandparents Day, and many other special Sundays to draw more people. They also had cell groups to model the same marketing fever. Those congregations are empty hulks now, known mostly for their bank accounts, Brobdingnagian female pastors, and empty parking lots.
Thrivent Insurance (and estate robbing Giving Counselors) used the palpable fears of WELS-LCMS-ELS-ELCA to gather the sects together. Thrivent answered their "felt needs" - as Paul Kelm would often say. What ever happened to him?
The afore-mentioned Lutheran sects were Calvinistic and suckers for rationalism, marketing, and instant solutions. After the 19th century was over, they became and remain totally hostile to Luther, the Reformation, and the Means of Grace.
Listen to their pitiful cries of despair now, their vanishing enthusiasm for a rosy future, and their dread of being labeled failures, apostates, abusers of men, women, and children.
The Lutheran sects are the bitcoins of Christian history, promoted heavily and declining faster than a runaway roller coaster. During my daily visit to the post office to return the latest camera, I realized that the "forever stamps" were a far better investment than bitcoins. The postal worker agreed, though wary of my thesis.
"These forever stamps always gain in value?"
"Yes."
"The cost of postage has never declined. Instead, it rises steadily, year after year."
"That's true."
"So all the money spent on now-worthless bitcoins could have doubled?!"
"I am afraid so."
The Church Growth experts of the Lutheran sects have pursued the bitcoins of fake evangelism. The Michigan District of the LCMS has even labeled their Evangelism Committee - "Evangelism and Church Growth," as if one relied on the other.
Our little church - a spare room in a rented house - has members of all ages, from toddlers to great grandparents. One member attended and graduated with an M.Div. - and we did not have to name a seminary building after a known adulterer and home-wrecker.
So, whenever you hear of a marvelous cure for the melt-down of Lutheran sects, remember the glorified bitcoin and seek instead the treasures that do not rust and decay, that gift counselors break in and steal.
But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, for where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. (KJV Matthew 6:20-21, edited).
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| May the farce be with you too! |
