Now comes Ichabod to summarize the winter vacation experience of the WELS bosses. That will save nenbers (WELS spelling) the trouble of reading Depitty Doug's report.
1. WELS is stuck with two office buildings instead of one crumbling building. They never got any earnest money for the offer on The Love Shack, so there is no bonus for being bamboozled. Now they have two buildings they will try to sell at once. Be sure to attend the next WELS money management seminar, but try to stifle the laughter.
2. Gifts are lower than budgeted for 2011.
3. Far fewer vicars are available. Does that mean Kudu Don Patterson won't get his annual free vicar while he runs around the country being a bigshot and builds a second campus next door to a WELS mission? They are now looking at quality experiences for the vicar, which would rule out Holy Word.
4. DP Peterman has not accepted the job at MLS yet. How far can he go? Will his conscience allow it?
5. The NNIV translation pow-wow report was misleading. A bug planted in the tiger meat transmitted this summary -
Depitty Doug:
The participants voted the NIV 2011, by a wide margin, over the HCSB, the ESV, and the participants’ own translations (in that order) as the preferred translation.
The Tiger Meat Bug:
What's true about that quote: What is being referred to is a tabulation of participants' preferences concerning a number of different translations' renderings of sample passages. Some preferred one translation's renderings, others preferred a different translation's rendering, and so on. It might have expressed a preference at the moment.
What's wrong about that quote: The statement is not true. There was no "vote" taken for a preferred translation among the participants. There was no paper ballot. There was no show of hands. There was no voice vote. In fact, at the very end of the gathering, when it was suggested that a vote be taken to indicate a preference for a particular translation, that suggestion even failed to produce any motion to call for a vote. At that time, the prevailing sentiment expressed was that no vote should be taken concerning a preferred translation lest such information leak out and be (mis)used outside of the meeting to lobby for something the group never intended it to.
They are afraid of district discussions and votes, because hostility toward the NNIV is growing rather than receding. And I quote from the Depitty - "The TEC has come to the conclusion that more time is needed to make a decision and would prefer not to have a vote taken at the district conventions."
6. Internet Porn Divorce. Somehow they managed not to mention their PR director facing life in prison and various people going to prison for not reporting his felonies earlier.
7. Elton Stroh - Paralysis.
8. Mark Jeske - Paralysis.
9. Grace in Action - Paralysis.
10. But Techlin and Krohn - Excommunicate! Anathema sit! Anathema sit! Anathema sit!
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| "Thou shalt continue the ministry of Fuller, Gordon Conwell, Willowcreek, and Trinity Divinity yea unto the end of the ages. Amen." |
