Funniest Comment - Ever

You are a gutless coward!

Signed

Anonymous

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Repeating his hilarious triumph:

Anonymous has left a new comment on your post "Funniest Comment - Ever":

Although it's signed anonymous, it doesn't make the observation any less true.

Commentary on WELS Schools

A Model WELS Church Worker Family And Their Beloved School, Wauwatosa

Sunday, April 1, 2007

From Lutheran Notes, Bruce Church.

Future Class-Action Lawsuit Versus The WELS

What follows is an advertisement that will be sent to students of the WELS prep schools and MLC (Martin Luther College) in in future, say, around 2011:

Do you not exactly feel prepared for college and life, at least outside the WELS system?

Did you:

o Attend a WELS prep school, either Martin Luther Seminary (MLS) or Martin Luther Prep (MLP)?
o Have a parochial school certification but cannot teach in public schools without further training, and cannot teach in Lutheran parochial schools because there are no jobs available?
o Did you drop out of MLC along the way, but now cannot place decently in a good secular college because you lack credit in many hard classes?

If you answered yes to at least one of the questions above, that is because you attended one of the WELS prep schools and/or WELS college, and they provided a religious-classical education when what you really needed for life was a modern education, that being shop class, or advanced placement classes in, to name a few, physics, calculus, statistics and economics. These are normally provided free from your local public high school, but you missed the boat. What's really scandalous is the prep schools made the students learn Spanish and German (formerly Latin and German) all out of books with no audio visual aids. So even in 2007 a prep student will have 4 years of Spanish and 2 of German and still not be able to speak the languages, much less remember much of it--because a language one has never conversed in is a language one forgets most of.

Do you wonder why your WELS pastor and/or teachers encouraged you to attend prep school and/or MLC in the first place when you really weren't all that particularly spiritual, nor all that interested in doctrine, history, languages and the classics, and certainly was not pastor and teacher material then, and never would be?

What you need to know is that back in 2007 the WELS was faced with a 5 million dollar operating expense deficit. How the synod got into this predicament is they allowed too many students into MLC in the 1990s. Then during the Dot Com Bust of 2001 they didn't have calls for the deserving candidates, much less the students whom the WELS customarily tells to hit the road and get lost after pocketing a lot of their student money. That's right, each student pays 10,000+ dollars per year to attend MLC, much of it in the form of student loans the student must pay back. Since then MLC has been running behind by a few million dollars, but then in 2007 it became
5 million dollars in the red. What is really scandalous is that even though the synodical schools have been around for over a hundred years, they just started to form endowment funds in the last few years. So the synodical schools have been living hand to mouth, and lately from students' pockets to mouth.

So in 2007 a synod advisory body suggested closing MLS to close the gap between expenses and revenue, but the pastors would have none of it. At first the pastors were going to sign a petition asking the synod to downsize its bureaucracy and solve the deficit that way, but that fizzled out. The reason is that in the WELS the pastors and teachers hold fifty percent of the vote at conventions. They also control most of the news since there is hardly any scandal sheet worthy of the label. Only the Christian News of the LCMS occasionally contains un-censored information on the WELS. Since the laymen only read the glossy WELS magazines about the synod, and hear only what the leaders want them to hear, the WELS is similar to a fully employee-owned corporation even though the clergy and teacher only get half the votes at conventions. Employees are not about to lay each other off, nor tell synod desk jockeys to go out and start mission churches, because that's hard work. Also, the route where the WELS downsizes by not filling positions as people move or retire doesn't work too well since many pastors work in the WELS until they are 70 or older.

Here's some of what laymen should hear but will never hear it from the top, nor from their pastors. The WELS schools utilize their resources and campuses poorly.
o There are few teachers assistants, but full professors do everything from giving repetitive lectures to grading papers. This robs the graduate students of good jobs, ones that could be part of the federal student jobs program even, and not cost the synod a dime.
o The class sizes are just 15 to 25 when many classes could easily be held in larger rooms and auditoriums so professors or teachers assistants would not need to give the same lecture to two or more classrooms per day or per week. There should be no, say, History 101 Section A, B, C and D, since all 200 students should be in one section.
o The facilities are not rented out much, but just sit idle when they could be making the synod money.
o Before closing MLS, or along with closing MLS, the Wisconsin Lutheran Seminary (WLS) should be combined with MLC at New Ulm. That's because there is more than enough room to fit 150 seminary students on New Ulm's campus now that enrollment there has dropped. Besides, there are many eligible women for the future pastors to date on MLC's campus, especially now that MLC has a masters degree program. This means many women students will be the same age as the seminarians, and have about as much education to boot. Besides, the WELS is tired of pastors who found their wives while dating in bars in Milwaukee because driving to New Ulm is too far. The trip across "the River", an allusion that compares the Mississippi River to Isaac's obtaining a wife, Rebbecca, from across the Mesopotamian River, is a whopping 399 miles, or about 7 hours and 6 minutes without any breaks.

The 1920s-era seminary in Mequon is built in the old brick style without insulation, and wastes a lot of heat. At anyone time there are only 150 students there. Also, there is a lot of mowing and grounds work. The sem property in Mequon is in a prime location just a couple miles from the shore of Lake Michigan, and could sell for many millions of dollars, enough to build nice dormitories and a better chapel at MLC. That brings up another scandal--that the WELS can't build anything over a few stories tall, thereby wasting a lot of real estate and money per square foot of livable area, and wasting a lot on heating.

o The Synod could be downsized in two says. Some ministries could be spun off so they fund themselves. For example, WELS Lutherans for Life need not be anywhere in the synodical budget (if it is now). Also, retired pastors could be utilized who would be paid for their services as they deliver them rather than a more expensive salary for full-time workers. The synod's administrative budget should be only 10% at most. Missions could also be spun off, just like the ELS synod has Thoughts of Faith fund and control all their missions overseas.

Ok, back to the latest scandal. After twiddling their thumbs in a meeting, someone suggested that the MLC and the two prep schools just increase their enrollment. That's pretty much how the budget for these schools was met in the past. Many students who had no business being in a school meant to prepare people for the ministry and parochial school teaching were allowed to attend for various reasons--all of them bad reasons. Often the reason was the parents were too busy working to parent, and the prep school served as a surrogate parent. So the other students had to put up with these unruly, unparented students who often had a lot of money to spend on entertainment.

So these WELS pastors, all of whom make well north of 40 grand per year when housing, insurance and perks are factored in, decided to balance the synodical budget on the backs of students who will be lucky to make even 30 grand if they face the job market or college market with only a classical education. Yes, they said that they figured the WELS would grow and there would be enough pastor and teacher slots, but if they had to bet on it with their own money, they'd pass. In other words, these WELS pastors pulled a "Jim Bakker" on you. That's the evangelist who sold condominiums in a project that his accountants said would go bust. However, Jimmy Bakker had faith that it would all work out. Anyway, a lot of people lost their shirts, Bakker went to jail, because the judge did not buy off on Bakker's assertion that having faith in the project was not the same as transacting business in "good faith":

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jim_Bakker

So, please sign the attached form to join the
the lawsuit. Thank-you.

Sincerely,

Mr. Lawyer

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MLS Veteran has left a new comment on your post "Commentary on WELS Schools":

I agree with many of the criticisms in this article.

If you are seeking an education with the intent of going on to a secular university or college, you may want to rethink attending a prep school, especially if you would not be a day student.

I was always told by pastors, professors, teachers what an elite education I would be receiving.

After graduating, I was shocked at how well some of the public school students I was competing against were trained in math and science.

This was particularily a weak spot for MLS. The humanities were definitely emphasized at the expense of math and natural sciences.

Also, there are no career counselors at MLS (aside from encourage you to continue on to becoming a Lutheran teacher or pastor). Nor was there any "college fairs" where secular universities would come to school to talk about their institutions or academic programs. Finally, there was no help in finding scholarships or grants to the secular universities.

However, I must emphasize that MLS and Luther Prep are not in the business of educating students for the outside world. Technically, you cannot fault them for that.

HOWEVER, STUDENTS WHO WANT TO ATTEND A PREP SCHOOL SHOULD BE CLEAR THAT THESE ARE SOME OF THE SHORT COMINGS OF ATTENDING A WELS PREP SCHOOL !!!

That, and the infamous freshman, "Zex" year at MLS, should be factors in considering whether or not to attend a WELS prep school :)

Beautiful, Beautiful Zion...

Anonymous said...
Let me give you one little example that teaches UOJ- Romans 3:23,24, that PCK quoted earlier. You probably don't want to discuss Greek grammar because they probably didn't teach that to you at that wonderful Roman Catholic institution, Notre Dame.

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GJ - Notre Dame was not very Roman Catholic when I was there. My doctoral advisor was John Howard Yoder, a Mennonite. Another reader on my dissertation was Stan Hauerwas, Methodist, considered one of the best theologians in America. The head of the graduate program in theology was Robert Wilken, LCMS, who studied at Concordia Seminary with Herman Otten. My program advisor was T. Hommes, Dutch Reformed. My professor in Talmudic Judaism was Jewish. One professor left the convent to marry her Jesuit priest beau. Another professor left the convent to marry her book seller beau. One professor was a Biblical feminist (Elisabeth Schussler Fiorenza). She is married to a liberation theologian, Frank. Both were kicked out and upstairs to endowed professorships at Harvard.

I was known for defending traditional Lutheranism in class and for making fun of liberals like Paul Tillich. One doctoral student said goodbye to me after I disagreed with Elisabeth Schussler-Fiorenza in class. He assumed I would be kicked out of the program. She told me soon after that she liked having students in class who had actually been out of school, who were able to form their own opinions.

What most MDivs from unaccredited seminaries miss is this simple fact - universities do not try to impose the robotic obedience expected at the liberal seminaries of WELS, ELS, LCMS, and ELCA today. The free exchange of ideas (at the Sausage Factory? - never!) is a normal experience at a good school. People from all traditions have a chance to question and to debate.

The Romans Catholics gave an LCA pastor a free ride for a PhD and tossed in some extra pocket money to write a dissertation on - buckle your seatbelts - a Lutheran seminary professor. Get over it, Rev. Mouse. After all, it's not the ecumenical study that's a crime. It's the cover up. Bivens, Valleskey, and Werning have all denied their study at Fuller. Olson's buddy blew smoke in the faces of CN readers, claiming that Olson went to Pasadena for the Rose Bowl Parade. Ahem.

If Fuller is so wonderful, why do these syncretists deny studying there? If Fuller is so bad that they lie about it, why did they go there in the first place? I am looking forward to a sensible, sober answer to that question.

UOJ in Romans 3?
Someone, probably Mouse, posted a comment proving Romans 3:22ff was UOJ. I took the Romans class with Panzer (nickname for Panning). I think Panning was pretty good. He did not push UOJ, which is why it took me time to absorb the truth about the Synodical Conference's UOJ error.

KJV Romans 3:22 Even the righteousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all and upon all them that believe: for there is no difference: 23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God; 24 Being justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus: 25 Whom God hath set forth to be a propitiation through faith in his blood, to declare his righteousness for the remission of sins that are past, through the forbearance of God;

UOJ is an excellent example of propositional theology. First a well-intentioned dolt declares a proposition, then ignores Scripture while proving his case. All his followers march in step. They think they are marching to Zion even when they smell brimstone.

This passage clearly states that the righteousness of God comes by faith to all believers. Yes, all have sinned. NT Greek has no punctuation. We have to supply it. The logical antecedent (that which goes before) for being justified (v. 24) is all that believe.

The labored rationalism of PCK (aka Mouse) would have God's grace come to every single person on earth, without faith, without the Word, without the Means of Grace. That is the doltish opinion of J. P. Meyer in Ministers of Christ, NPH. That is what WELS promotes and Pope John the Malefactor endorses. His Beatitude, Rolf Preus, endorses UOJ some days, justification by faith alternately.

Professor Lenski is the only Lutheran to publish an extensive commentary on the entire New Testament. Here is what he said about the passage in Romans:

"The fact that this declaration of righteousness is only for believers, is pronounced only upon them, has already been stated in v. 22 in the plainest language and need not be repeated; the fact that unbelievers exclude themselves has thus also been clearly implied." (p. 250)

The Sausage Factory at Mequon teaches its bovine and ovine students to reject Lenski, so the typical Wisconsin product will automatically denounce Lenski.

The aptly named pastor, Papenfuss (Pope's Foot), admitted to the Kokomites he excommunicated that he knew nothing of UOJ until he went to seminary.

One reader said UOJ was ideal for Lutherans who want to pope. I thought about it and had to agree. UOJ is another name for Universalism. Pope JP II (or Deuce, as he was known around the Vatican) promoted a kind of Universalism. The bottom line for those poping is - believe whatever you want, disbelieve anything, but join the biggest and the best: Rome.