Thursday, March 11, 2010

We Are Measured by What Offends Us




I heard from a cheerful reader that this blog offends some people. He is not offended, but his friends are.

I set up the Bethany blog for sermons and quotations alone. I created it at the same time as Ichabod.

Ichabod has 500 to 1000 readers per day.

The Bethany blog has about 100 readers per day.

I began Ichabod for one purpose only, to expose and denounce the corruption in the Lutheran Church and to reveal the same rampant apostasy in other church bodies. I am not sure how to soft-pedal the news. Perhaps I should keep everyone in the same drowsy, summer on the back porch, almost asleep in a rocking chair mode they have enjoyed the last few decades.

I am quite deliberately provocative, in the hopes of waking a few people up. One WELS leader called it "his morning entertainment."

There are precedents for humor in the Lutheran Church. I have quoted Luther in papers, watching people burst into laughter because of the truth of what he wrote. Chemnitz had a delightful way of deriding the folly of Romanism and distilling a few jokes in the process. No wonder Chemnitz was dubbed the Most Villainous Lutheran.

The sourpuss Pietists who are so careful to guard the fastness of their synodical sinecures are not amused. I simply propose that

When a strong man armed keepeth his palace, his goods are in peace: but when a stronger than he shall come upon him, and overcome him, he taketh from him all his armour wherein he trusted, and divideth his spoils. (KJV Luke 11:21-22)



To take away the armor and spoils of the Evil One, believers will need to trust in the Sword of the Spirit, the Word, rather than the gimmicks of Church Shrinkers.


Lutheran clergy and laity alike should be offended by:


  1. Whoopee entertainment supplanting liturgical worship.
  2. Pastors who are not man enough to conduct a worship service themselves, letting a woman or women do their work.
  3. Lutherans running off to be trained by people who despise and mock Lutheran doctrine and worship.
  4. Open communion, semi-open communion, and demi-semi open communion.
  5. Hiding communion because it might hurt attendance by non-Lutherans. Wake up chickee-poo. If you feel that way, you are all non-Lutherans anyway.
  6. Gutless Doctrinal Pussycats who exercise discipline against faithful Lutherans while letting apostates run wild.
  7. Gutless Doctrinal Pussycats who pretend they are going to do something against apostates while doing nothing except talk.
  8. Dmins from whack-job schools deserving an axe, a torch, or a set of Luther's Works.
  9. Pastors who cheat on their mistresses.
  10. Seminary professors who lead from the rear, sitting on their posteriors while their own synod rots away.

A conservative hates you for telling a lie.
A liberal hates you for telling the truth.