Report to the Twelve Districts
The long, dark tea-time of the soul is not over for WELS. Everyone should read the Report, to get a glimpse of what is going on.
The Church and Money Changers are still doing well, rewarded in many ways, never short of a job. If you want a call in WELS, go to Fuller Seminary or Willow Creek for training, preferably both. Add Groeschel, Drucker, Stanley and more for a DP who will defend your false doctrine to his death. Or for a VP who gets calls to the Sausage Factory and advises them how to teach the Kinder. Leonard Sweetheart? - Kingdom Workers will love ya.
Remember Randy Hunter, Latte
The Report lists the Money Changers who were let go from the Love Shack, only to be hired a few minutes later: Kehl, Kelm, Becker, Stroh. These are not bad times for the Money Changers. Kudu Don Patterson is expanding his empire, Emerging Church style, and he has a free vicar again.
On the world missions scene, WELS adopts a posture of a global church. ELCA is one, and they recently fired 44 staff. WELS has something going on in every corner of the world, a great way to maximize opportunities for travel.
The schools are going downhill rapidly. WELS once had four prep schools. Now they have two failing preps. Tuition is stratospheric while enrollment drops and staffmembers are cut - even at Luther Prep. Michigan Lutheran Seminary once had 300 students. Now they claim 180.
Mary Lou College has an $8 million chapel and declining enrollment. I heard they needed 1000 students, a very small number for a college today. They have 700. There is no longer a reason for MLC, except to produce obnoxious student videos. WLC could easily take over, and they are also run by Shrinkers.
Here is a case to consider. The area Lutheran high schools grew while the plum preps turned into raisins from under-funding. One area school went from 300 students to 100, and the shrinkage is not done. Parochial schools are closing everywhere. MLC no longer has a reason to exist.
The Sausage Factory is suffering from the advice given by Patterson and Kelm. Yes, they gave papers on how to improve seminary education. That is like inviting Dr. Kevorkian to lecture on nursing home care. "No, doc, leave your equipment at your office. Thanks."
Following Patterson's example, the seminary faculty should take all the students to an Exponential gathering, as Kudu Don did with a group of church workers. Or they should arrange a Leonard Sweet conference, as Paul Calvin Kelm did. (Missourians - don't be smug. Your St. Louis sem prez slobbered all over Sweet and put the video on their websty. Kieschnick, of course, adores Sweet too.)
In 1987, Mequon was graduating 60 students a year. Now they are in the 30s with a class of 16 coming up soon. Here is where the gallows humor comes in, making satire so easy to write. From the Report -
1. Good news - now there will not be an oversupply of seminary graduates.
2. Good news - now the faculty have time to complete their graduate degrees.
The schools all represent fixed costs at a time when tuition money is decreasing rapidly. Huge Missouri has considered closing one or both seminaries. WELS will need some solutions for its creaky school system.
I cannot figure out why Henry Hagedorn still has a job, let alone staff. His fiefdom has destroyed more churches than the Chicago Fire. They pretend to have lots of action going on, but they are just watching over the remains of their manifold failures. They have more mission districts than there are districts!
WELS supposedly cut $8 million from a $38 million budget, with more to come in the future. Going Galt is not so bad. The Means of Grace are free. The Instruments of God's Grace have not failed the church. The church has failed to use them.
If you think WELS has turned the corner, read the Report and also check out who writes for FIC (another dinosaur). The Shrinkers remain. The Church and Money Changers have not been chased out of the Temple. They are leasing the Temple - temporarily.
6 comments:
"...both signs of official approval.
Has Ichabod changed it's mind about Presidente Schroeder?
Hunter, Patterson, Kelm, and Stroh: The 'usual' suspects. Stroh is up to something with the Kingdom Workers. KW is not a get- rich-quick organization. These are Christ centered people who are utilizing their gifts of building and serving mission and/or needy congregations. There are confessional pastors chasing the church and money changers. Unfortunately, these guys have various coves to hide in. If a simple minded church lady can get a point on their location, wouldn't it make sense for the leaders to find the points first?
In Christ,
from WELS church lady
The Church and Money Changer Union runs WELS today. Too bad Jesus has not paid the synod a visit and driven out the evil ones.
God never promised that the WELS synod would or should be around forever. If the WELS synod fails, then it will be the will of God. Closure will work out for the best of those who love Him. The way things are going not much will be lost.
One of the mantras of the church growth gurus was that parochial schools don't help because those who go through them are no more likely to attend church regularly than those who go to public schools. I'm doubt that holds true with the WELS--if anywhere. Were those studies peer reviewed, or was it just Fuller Seminary nonsense?
If the bulk of the WELS congregants comes from converts who never attended parochial schools, where will the required number of teachers and pastors come from, since it's multi-generational member families who send the most students on to MLC and sem. My point is, the Church Growth debacle is now entering its second generation or phase of destruction. First the pews were emptied and schools were closed, and now the worker training schools are emptying.
A sem class of 16 only! And that's at a time when MLC grad teachers aren't receiving calls, meaning that men who might have otherwise gone the teacher route would opt for the pastor route since it would offer surer career opportunities.
The shrinkers have shrunk the WELS, and with the internet to spread the true news, the synod can't spin and hide bad news from the masses as well--though that won't stop them from trying. The glossy mags are no longer the opiate for the pew sitters it once was.
Talk about churchmen partying on, check this out. Evidently German-Americans lost some of their beer drinking stamina since coming to America:
http://editrixblog.blogspot.com/2010/05/wither-americans.html
excerpt: Let me tell you that WE had a bishop, notabene the pastoral head of the umbrella organisation of Germany's Protestant churches, notabene female, who was caught drunk driving because she had overlooked a red light and her blood alcohol content was a whopping 1.54.
And did we make such a fuss about it? Hell, no! After only three months she was received with standing ovations at the General Assembly of AA in the Germanosphere oecumenic church congress in Munich because all bishops of both denominations had tried and found out that even the most resilient of them had been pissed as a newt at .75 and wouldn't have been able to FIND his car, let alone open and drive it.
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