Adopt-a-Synod Donor Needed for WELS

Designated gifts did not work well for ELCA, so WELS tried them.

Now WELS needs a donor to adopt the whole synod. The figures tell the story.

The Michigan District has now given, over the first five months, $744,560, $79,080 less than last year for the same period. The district had major gifts lined up for Michigan Lutheran Seminary, but those were canceled when the synod said they would close the school. Synod stewardship at work.

The Synod has received, for the same period, $7,262,780, $297,588 less than last year for the same period. Last year was a disaster. This year they cannot keep up with last year's disaster.

Some possible solutions are:

1. Adopt the Michigan District. Naming rights will be offered for any gift of $3 million per year for 10 years. If the gift is not renewed or replaced, the name will revert to the Michigan District. Imagine the pride in having a district named for your own family or your girlfriend. The Angela District might be hard to explain, but the Krankheit District would be difficult to spell and explain. Any district could be adopted, but the price would vary with the density of the Lutherans there. The denser districts would necessarily cost more.
2. Adopt a professor. If enough people would adopt a professor, each one could be forced to attend a graduate school to study the Book of Concord. Enough money would have to be included to pay tuition and to buy a butane lighter for burning up the Fuller diploma.
3. Adopt a district president. If the cash flow is sufficient, the donor may dictate decisions made by the DP. Do you need to buy a call for a friend or relative who should really be in prison and registered as a sex offender? Adopt a district president and a new call is assured. In fact, with enough cash, the call could include some district and synod honors, for self-esteem purposes.