Starbuck's - Facing the Awful Truth

From time to time I order a mocha at Starbuck's (Barnes and Noble) while checking on some new book titles. They used to ask, "Do you want whipped cream?" Several times I have answered with a smile, "That is not whipped cream. That is white stuff." They had to agree each time. Now they do not ask me.

Today I was drinking a mocha straight up when I heard the manager ask a customer, "Do you want whipped topping?" I thought, "Finally, truth in packaging."

This morning I learned that Reddi-Whip was originally owned by the Capone gang. It was the first aerosol food product. I have similar feelings about Reddi-Whip, coffee creamers that make my stomach flip, and margarine slopped on the table as "butter." More than once I have said, "I ordered real butter." More than one young waitress has has shot back, "That is butter." Butter glistens with little specks of water, but margarine has the complexion of Glidden paint: plastic, solid, deadly. Someday people will realize that the factory oil industry (shortening, margarine, etc.) was a massive and dangerous fraud.

All this is directly related to the fake Lutheran doctrine that has been marketed for the last three decades or so. Every step has taken various Lutheran bodies farther away from their confessional roots. Now they are so lost that the apostate leaders act with impugnity while insulting the intelligence and faith of their members.

I wonder how proud the founders of the ELS would be to realize that the entire Bethany Lutheran Seminary faculty marched in a religious procession with a Roman Catholic ex-bishop. Apparently Erling Teigen arranged this disgusting display. The local newspaper bragged about the ex-bishop's creditentials but the Bethany yearbook hid them. At the time, Rolf Preus (briefly in the ELS) announced, "Erling doesn't have an ecumenical bone in his body, and Greg Jackson knows it."

I always wonder how these ELS pastors mind-read from a distance. This must be a power given to them when they enter the sacred precincts of Rivendell. Rolf was able to discern my brain-waves from a distance and report them infallibly on SpenerQuest. Did Erling defend Rolf so publicly? I must have missed that pronouncement.

The brave ELS leaders went into damage-control mode, a skill they have improved through practice. The ex-bishop was married, as if that made him a Lutheran. He was no longer a bishop. Was he no longer a Roman Catholic? As any student of Roman doctrine knows, the bishop could repent, dump his wife, and become an active priest again. The priesthood is an indelible character - a priest forever.

I had a reliable witness at that tragic service at Bethany. The seminary faculty marched in with the ex-bishop. The service was religious, dedicating the Ylvisaker building. (Wouldn't he be honored! He was just about the only theologian in the ELS and they associate his name with a Roman Catholic speaker.) Oh yes, the Roman Catholic was the featured speaker that day. Damange Control Central said that the religious service stopped being religious when he spoke. Perhaps an altar boy rang the mass bells, creating a miraculous transubstantiation. The appearance of a unionistic religious service remained, but the substance (ding-a-ling) was changed into a secular gathering.

Thus we have the Lutheran Church today. They call it Lutheran orthodoxy but it is really whipped topping - full of air and heaven knows what ingredients.