Most of the people using Twitter seem unaware or unconcerned that their words are posted to the Net and kept there.
A juror from Arkansas used Twitter during a jury trial where he bragged he was giving away $12 million of Other People's Money. (Church and Change probably added him to their Rolodex - pronto.) The Tweets will be cited in an effort to overturn the verdict.
A Twitter message is called a Tweet. I have found Twitter useful in tracking the Church and Changers. I am not alone in using Twitter as radar. As soon as I activated my Twitter account, a Church and Changer put himself on my list, so he could receive every message. I find Twitter a waste of time, so I never post.
But oh the joys of tracking people on Twitter. One practical benefit is the list of followers and those being followed. Church and Changers follow Mark Driscoll and like to suggest to each other the latest Emerging Church stuff to read. Nancy's World is one Schwaermer on the list for the pricey executive assistant at the Popcorn Cathedral. She also posted a stinging comment on Ichabod. It reminded me of being stoned to death by popcorn.
One point of Ichabod is to get the Schwaermer to read the blog daily, and that is working. They have to read it, even if uncomprehending, in order to post their latest spelling errors. I follow Wesley's motto: "If you can't convert them, at least make them angry." They are annoyed if I write about the past, present, or future, so I am looking for a time zone they approve. They hate quotations from Luther and the Concordists, but they love Stetzer, Sweet, and Groeschel.
Ski and his pricey executive assistant continue to refer to Appleton on their Twitter as A-town, their own term but not one favored by long-time residents of the valley. I hope they never tweet about the Appleton landfill. I can only guess what they will call that operation. Mrs. Ichabod adds, "We live in Phoenix, not in P-town."
Ski cannot help revealing the shallowness of the Popcorn Cathedral of Rock. His website has no reference to Lent because there are no Lenten services. His grand opening is the Sunday after Easter. Until then he only has Sunday evening services announced - with Craig Groeschel sermon themes and texts. He is sharing Lenten duties at his friend's WELS congregation, so the mission to date has almost nothing to do with reaching the I-hate-church crowd, even less to do with the most important content of the Christian Gospel: the cross and the empty tomb.
Sermon preparation, according to Ski's Twitter, means watching TV on his Imax screen. Other peak moments have included firing up the popcorn machine and watching the Wizard of Oz on the giant screen, dancing down the aisles.
Do the Church and Changers ever imagine they are the Great and Terrible Oz, the frightened man hiding behind the curtain?
Or perhaps they identify with the Cowardly Lion? They erase their own revealing material as quickly as they copy the wisdom of the Schwaermer.
Genuflecting to pop culture could best be signified by leading the coffee-saturated congregation in a rousing version of "If I Only Had a Brain."
Twitter in My Google Told a Tale on You
I recall when the Church and Chicaneries went to Defcon-5 to deny Stetzer was invited to speak for their November conference. They were so shrill that one of my sources started to believe them.
The Conference of Pussycats already discussed the invitation. More enlightening were three different pieces of data, starting with Babtist Ed Stetzer's own Twitter. He recorded the moment when WELS Church and Change hired him to teach them the Word of God. He also blogged about speaking to WELS and Missouri, making fun of Confessional Lutheranism (shocked? - you bet I was!). And Stetzer added both WELS and Missouri to his speaking engagement list. Stetzer is no longer a pastor with a congregation. He simply talks about being a minister - as long as people pay dearly for it.
The Chicaneries were squawking so loudly because their stealth leader, Kudu Don Patterson led a group of them to hear Stetzer at Exponential last year. That was probably the start of the Stetzer hire. So C and C responded by saying, "How do you know we haven't canceled him?" I knew from Stetzer's Twitter and his schedule. The dates are recorded for posterity:
- Stetzer and Patterson at Exponential pan-denominational event, where Lutherans paid but did not speak.
- Stetzer hired by Church and Chicanery.
- Stetzer blogging to make fun of Lutherans and doctrine.
- Stetzer listing WELS and Missouri on his speaking schedule.
- Conference of Pussycats meeting.
- Silence, deceit, and denial from Church and Chicanery.
If I Only Had More Grants
I could while away my daydreams
Watchin' movies on the Big Screen
Consultin' with Andy.
And popcorn I'd be poppin'
And the money never stoppin' -
If I only had more grants.
I would preach like Craig Groeschel
For any individd-el
In trouble or in pain.
With the thoughts Craig'd be thinkin,
They would say, “Another Lincoln!”
If I only had more grants.
Oh, I could tell you why
Sub-woofers make me cry.
I could think of things I never thunk before,
And then I'd sit and think some more
I would not be just a Changer,
My head all full of danger,
My sermons Groeschel’s chants.
Perhaps I deserve you,
And be even worthy erve you,
If I only had more grants.
