Some people, who have no trouble with false doctrine, are pained to read posts about Sassy, the Cyber-Pet. Yet there are those who do not have a dog but love to read about our three-legged wonder-dog. This post serves two purposes, to annoy the under-worked and poorly educated (from Mordor), and to please the fans of Sassy Sue.
We walked at 6 AM today, and I used the inclement weather (only 72) to do some weed trimming. Sassy often sits in the grass, in the middle of the garden, or on the driveway to supervise. I looked around for her and saw that she bulled her way through the front door, only partially shut.
We often see Pat and her husband John. We were too early for them today. Her favorites are Ranger Bob and his brother Mike, who fuss over her. "She is so spoiled," Bob says as he feeds her treats. She greets him like a long-lost owner, even though we see him several times a week. She barks loudly, her favorite way of greeting friends.
Sassy is an effective manager. She slows down behind me to explore her favorite places. Sometimes she wants to cross the street on her own. Then we have a dog-whisper talk. I hold her head gently and speak softly. "You have to ask to cross. You know that." If she pulls away, I talk longer. Afterwards, she jumps up to lick my hand, asking to be restored and reconciled. I tell her what a great dog she is, how much everyone loves her.
Sassy uses her paws for a lot of communication:
- A very light tap - Reminder of a task that needs to be done.
- A gentle paw scrape - Time to get that done. I tell Mrs. Ichabod to wait for the next stage when I close my eyes.
- Three very firm paw scrapes - Her patience with me is ended, and I get her arrogant German Shepherd look. I get her regular food - her crunchies.
- Waving the paw in the air - that turned into our mutual joke because I found it so funny. She used her claws to make noise on an antique table, then on a metal air filter. When I laughed about it, she did it with a big grin each time, now in the air because her filter machine and table are too far away. The paw is for treats. She does it to Bob in another room, too.
- Tapping us for her night-time routine. Sassy taps me, then Chris, for petting and talking. We tell her how much everyone loves her and how much we enjoy her. She grins and soaks it up for five minutes, then goes to sleep at the foot of the bed.
- Holding down our hands. If we are doing a good job petting her, Sassy uses her paws and legs to hold us in that position.
- The gentle knee-scrape at dawn. Sassy thinks that when Dawn, the rosy-fingered child of Morn, appears, she should be enjoying her walk.
- Sassy also pouts for attention. She sits with her back towards us and looks toward us a bit, to see if we still love her. "Want some loveys?" She barks and moves up to get some petting, tummy rubs, ear massages, and pep talks.
"Resist the Beginnings" - Lenski/Pfotenhauer
Sassy's best friend at the drive-through window suggested Frosty Paws for her. I bought the pet iced milk, saw how it was made, and switched to Great Value ice cream packets. Sassy loved it from the start and we continued to serve GV as Frosty Paws.
Sassy made it clear that it was a daily night-time ritual, so we began an evening drama with her. She shows a certain amount of discomfort and murmurs a bit. We debate what the problem might be. Finally we discover it. "Frosty Paws? Does she want Frosty Paws?"
Sassy's response varies. Last night she smacked the bed with her paw and grinned, then looked out the door so I could find where the Frosty Paws were located. Once we discussed it with company in the living room. Sassy yelped from the bedroom, yes - she wanted it now.
Every so often, the product name makes her drop her head onto the bed - she is ready for it. We can get kisses and loveys from bringing the subject up. Once discussed, she is confident I will deliver one teaspoon for her. I sing various product songs as I carry it from the kitchen. Mrs. Ichabod always serves.
Frosty Paws, Frosty Paws, Gotta Have Some Frosty Paws
Guess who's here to scoop it and deliver?
You can have your Frosty Paws, get a lot of Frosty Paws.
Have some fun and get some loveys too.
Aw-woo-woo-woo.
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| Resist the beginnings? We have had nothing but fun with this. |
